AITA for wanting my wife to make my dinner?

A weary 25-year-old man stumbles into his cozy 700-square-foot apartment at 1:30 AM, his stomach snarling after a brutal 13-hour shift. He’s been grinding 75-80 hours a week to keep the lights on, the fridge stocked, and their life afloat, all while treasuring his wife of one year and their once-warm bond. Under the dim lamp’s glow, he spots her snoozing on the coucheempty pizza box or a bowl of his beloved macaroni and weenies sits solo on the coffee table, no scraps saved for him.

That empty fridge bites harder than hunger after a relentless week, especially since he’s hinted at this before. She tackles chores and tosses in treats like snacks or tips when they’re out, which he loves, but solo meals feel like a silent shrug. One plea for a shared bite ignites a fiery spat, and she’s off to her mom’s in tears. This Reddit yarn bubbles with everyday drama let’s dive in.

‘AITA for wanting my wife to make my dinner?’

Me (M25) and my wife of over a year (F26) (together for over 4) have always had a good relationship with each other. It has felt very love filled. We recently got into an apartment, one bedroom like 700 square ft so not huge. Once this happened I feel like things may have shifted.

I work very long hours throughout the week with sometimes only one or maybe zero days off in the week, average of 75-80 hours a week. I bring home a majority of the money, (my paychecks are almost over 80% our whole income) not that it affects how I think of her and our relationship.

She is able to provide things like fun groceries (snacks/sweets) and when we go out she can pay for things like the tip or drinks and I really appreciate that and tell her thank you when she can swing it. She also does most of the chores in the small apt. Other than that I'm the person paying for our life.

(Groceries/toiletries/outings/clothes/makeup and not to mention rent and all other real bills) She works in a VERY different field and works 3 sometimes if her job requires, 4 days a week. She is working toward her career and I'm proud of her for this. Most days she'll work an average of 6 maybe 7 hours on her work days.

This is where the problem has started. Alot of my work nights are late, 12 or 1 am when I get home. Ill pack snacks but never get to eat. So alot of days I come home hungry for an actual meal. Recently those nights have been more frequent and i just don't want to have to cook something for myself after a 13 hour day after doing the same all week.

I just want to be able to eat with the minimal amount of work when I get home. The other night I came home around 1:30AM and found my wife passed out on the couch with an empty personal pizza from Little Ceasars. I got excited thinking that I had a cold one in the fridge waiting for me.....wrong.

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annoyed but not upset, I microwave some chef boyardee, scarf it down and call it a night. The next day I have the same kind of night, around 1:30 I get home. There she is passed out, now with a bowl of macaroni and weenies (one of my favorites) and again. Nothing in the fridge for me.

Not understanding why she couldn't just make enough for the both of us and put my bowl in the fridge, wake her up to ask. She gets a little snappy if someone wakes her up but this time she was pissed. Saying that she is NOT my maid and I'm being lazy trying to make her cook for me.

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I tell her I'm just hungry after a long day and it upset me seeing she cooked for herself and didn't think about me at all. I said she was being inconsiderate and that really set her off. Saying if I want a slave then she's not it. I told her I don't want a slave, I want a wife who seems to care about me.

She looked at me with a shocked face and stormed out. Her mother texted saying she showed up at their house balling and HOW I should be more considerate to her feelings. I haven't even responded because I just feel hurt and not cared for.. I just wanted dinner. AITA?

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This late-night dinner drama dishes up a classic recipe for marital friction. Our 25-year-old breadwinner feels invisible, slogging through 75-80-hour weeks only to face an empty fridge, while his wife, busy with chores and a lighter load, recoils at “maid” vibes. Both sides simmer with truth: he’s craving a gesture of care, she’s defending her space. A pinch of thought—like an extra slice or bowl—could cool this boilover.

Dig deeper, and it’s a snapshot of modern marriage woes. A 2021 Pew Research Center study shows 59% of couples pinpoint “lack of communication” as a key strain. His marathon days clash with her flexible ones, leaving needs unsaid and unmet. Exhaustion fuels his edge, while her snap-back guards against feeling like a servant—toss in poor timing, and it’s a messy stew.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship guru, observes, “Couples who turn toward each other’s bids for connection—small acts like saving a meal—build trust and resilience”. Her solo munching skips a chance to connect, and his weary plea, perhaps gruff, lit the fuse. A chuckle-worthy fix isn’t a full-on 1950s diner scene—just a shared scoop of weenies to say “I see you.”

A calm breakfast chat could smooth this out. She might double a dish or order extra, a low-lift nod to his grind. He could grab takeout now and then, easing her load, and cheer her efforts loudly. Carving out a cozy moment splitting a snack, swapping laughs reheats the bond. Small bites of kindness can season a marriage for the better.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit weighed in with gusto, mostly siding with our hungry hero. The vibe leans clear: doubling a meal—be it pizza or macaroni—for a spouse grinding out epic hours feels like basic courtesy, especially in a marriage. Many see it as a tiny, warm gesture to honor the guy bankrolling most of their life, baffled by her solo dining habit.

A few spiced it up, suggesting he match her energy with labeled takeout just for him. The crowd nods that feeling valued matters—her chores shine, but a spare bite could fill more than his stomach. Popular takes lean practical and heartfelt, cheering small acts to bridge the gap.

pineboxwaiting − NTA You’re not asking her to have a hot meal on the table when you come home at night. You’re asking that when she makes supper, she make enough for two. I’m hoping that her out-sized & irrational response happened because you woke her up & were probably a bit irritated in your presentation.

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I’m guessing crying to her mom was a lot about her personal feelings of guilt realizing that she’s been a thoughtless, inconsiderate ass. I’m hoping things are better for both of you tomorrow.

Chilocanth − NTA - if someone cares about you, they will find ways to take care of you. Wifey could easily order a second pizza or cook enough Mac and weenies for two. She should actually want to as a decent person, let alone as your spouse.

BUT to make all the mule carriers happy, start having a dasher meet you at home with your evening meal for one. Let her enjoy her personal pizza while you enjoy your steak and potatoes.

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See how long she supports that arrangement. Honestly, your wife sounds a little spoiled and self-centered. Your feelings are valid. Though I think there are bigger issues that need to be addressed.

Prestigious_Cod_8173 − Nta, and i do not care how much this gets down voted. Wow, are any of you married? It seems like just common curiosity to save a little something for the person busting their b**t to provide everything.

OP, maybe treat yourself to take out and label it so that she can't have any to match that energy. Maybe then she'll see how ridiculous she is being. She seriously couldn't just order a 2nd pizza?!??

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PresentExamination10 − NTA. Ordering a personal pizza and eating all of knowing your spouse is at work all night is insane. Literally what.

hellyeahletsgo2344 − Massive NTA. Is everyone missing the fact that she is making her own dinner with absolutely no thought to her husband and life partner who’s working ridiculous hours and earning majority of their income? She can easily make two servings of whatever she is making or get two pizzas. That’s absolutely the bare minimum.

friedonionscent − By her logic, you're the slave. You bring in 80% of the income. You work 75-80 hours a week, which is basically like working two full time jobs. You allow her a lifestyle she wouldn't be able to afford on her income alone.. If I was an alien taking notes, I'd classify you the slave.

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It's not too much to expect that she either order more or cook extra so you have something to eat at 1am. It's kind of common courtesy...hell, I even cooked extra for my housemate and he wasn't paying my bills.. I also wouldn't have thought this is something you had to explain to her...does her brain work?. You're NTA.

sparksgirl1223 − Christ, the least she could do is double what she makes/orders and put it in the fridge. That seems like a no Brainer to me.. I'm gonna vote NTA. ESPECIALLY if you're working 7 days a week and she's working 4 at the most.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It’s not like you tell her to cook. For you at 2am. She can at least save you some when she makes it for herself

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tiredandshort − I think it should kind of just go without saying that if you’re cooking dinner, you would also cook enough for your SPOUSE! It’s just such a small act of kindness to just do….slightly more of what you are already doing. They aren’t roommates, they are married. NTA

Ok-Nefariousness4477 − She works 18-28 hours a week and you work 75-80 hours, guess who is really the slave in this relationship.

This hungry hubby’s tale cooks up a tasty truth: marriage savors the small stuff, but clashing schedules and quiet hopes can burn the broth. He yearns for a nibble of care after endless days; she shields her role from extra duties. A dash of planning leftovers in the fridge, a quick chat might warm this chilly rift into a shared feast. Share your thoughts, feelings, and fixes below—let’s stir some insight together!

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