AITA for getting my coworker’s $2,000 vacation taken away?

In a bustling office where vacation days are as coveted as a cold drink on a summer day, one employee found themselves at the heart of a workplace showdown. The air was thick with anticipation as the OP planned a long-awaited reunion with their sister, a soldier rarely home from duty. But when a coworker swooped in, waving a $2,000 vacation plan and demanding the same week off, sparks flew. The office became a stage for a classic clash of fairness, policy, and personal priorities, leaving everyone wondering: who’s really in the right here?

The drama unfolded in a small department of eight, where vacation requests are a first-come, first-served affair, as rigid as a military drill. The OP, brimming with excitement to see their sister after months apart, secured their time off early. But when a coworker’s last-minute request threatened to derail their plans, the OP took a stand, escalating the issue to the top. Was it a bold move for family, or a step too far?

‘AITA for getting my coworker’s $2,000 vacation taken away?’

Some background, my little sister is in the Army. I haven’t seen her since August for a funeral. She hasn’t really been able to take leave because she was flagged for her weight. Finally, she tells me in early December that she got approved to go on leave at the end of January, so I immediately went and put in for my vacation time at work.

I haven’t stopped talking about it and made everyone aware that I was taking this time to see my sister. My job has a super strict first come, first served policy about taking vacations. My department only has 8 people and it’s considered a trade so you can’t just pull anyone off the street to cover for one of us, so only one person is allowed to take vacation at a time.

This past week, one of my coworkers asks off for the *exact same* week as me, saying he already spent $2,000 to go out of the country and our bosses “better approve the time off because of how expensive it was.” Our boss sees the request and pulls him aside telling him that he can’t have it because I asked for it.

Coworker cries to the big boss and big boss gives it to him, telling my boss to tell me to take my vacation “some other time.” I went to the big boss explaining the situation, he didn’t do anything, so I went over his head. The DM was appalled and basically took away my coworker’s vacation,

wrote my store manager for breaking policy and told my coworker if he calls in more than once that week to go on said vacation, he’ll get fired. I didn’t mean to get everyone in trouble, but I asked for it over a month ago and I want to see my sister. Am I the a**hole here?

Navigating workplace policies can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield, especially when vacation days are on the line. The OP’s situation, where a coworker tried to leapfrog their request with a pricey vacation plea, highlights the delicate balance of fairness and flexibility in small teams. The OP’s adherence to policy clashed with the coworker’s emotional appeal, creating a classic workplace standoff.

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The coworker’s assumption that a $2,000 expense trumped policy was a risky move. As Forbes notes in its workplace culture articles, clear policies exist to ensure equity, especially in high-stakes environments like small teams. The OP’s decision to escalate to the district manager was bold but aligned with fairness. The coworker’s oversight—booking a costly trip without securing time off—reflects poor planning, not entitlement to special treatment.

Dr. Amy Edmondson, a leadership expert quoted in Harvard Business Review, emphasizes, “Fairness in process builds trust; bending rules for one erodes it for all.” Here, the OP’s escalation upheld the team’s trust in policy, though it stirred tension. The coworker’s loss, while harsh, stems from their misstep, not the OP’s actions.

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For others in similar binds, experts suggest proactive communication. Discuss plans early, document requests, and avoid assumptions. If conflicts arise, address them calmly with management, citing policy as a neutral guide. This approach keeps emotions in check and fosters respect, ensuring no one’s left stranded—on or off the job.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for the OP’s saga. From cheers for standing firm to warnings of workplace blowback, the comments were a lively barbecue of opinions. Here’s what the crowd had to say, raw and unfiltered:

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BananaFrappe − NTA. You stood up for yourself and followed company policy. Good for you. I'm envious because I would've probably just let them walk all over me, getting more and more bitter. LOL

SubjectiveAssertive − NTA - who the heck spends $2k on a holiday before checking they can get time off work?

Tokugawa − NTA - Just because your coworker f**ked up and jumped the gun, it doesn't make you the a**hole. But beware: You insisted they stick to the rules, so make sure you're following them, so don't be surprised when your boss tries to fire you for something trivial. You went over their heads and made them look bad to THEIR boss. Expect some blowback for that.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You followed policy and your sister most likely can't move her leave since it's a pain to get it in the first place when you're military. Hopefully this will teach your coworker to ask for time off before spending money on his vacations. It was poor planning on his part.

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Twizdom − NTA. 'Poor planning on your part constitutes no emergency on my own.'

k0sherDILL − NTA. They have a very strict first come-first serve. The co-worker should have asked off as soon as they spent the money instead of waiting. Or if they spent the money after you told everyone you were taking off they should have picked different days. The managers should have stuck to the policy. Just because somebody spent money doesn’t mean they get to go around coampany policy.

Fartstopper9424 − Validation post

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You're coworker is definitely the a**hole here and he's also an i**ot for wasting his money on something he doesn't know will get approved

[Reddit User] − NTA The coworker is, the big (but apparently not biggest) boss is as well. I also wouldn't be convinced that the dumb twat actually spent $2000 in non-reimbursable fees already. Could easily have been part of the b**ch move ruse he was trying to pull.

[Reddit User] − NTA - your co-worker lost a $2000 vacation for himself. As the old saying goes, 'Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.' So, awesome for you for sticking up for yourself (as you should). Rules cannot be enforced selectively. I had that happen to me once years ago at a job.

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We also had to have 1 person on the team at any given time. Just so happened we were down to 2 people one December because of transfers and departures. My boyfriend wanted to go to Las Vegas in December at a time that worked for his job. So, I put in for the time in JULY, got it and he went ahead and booked everything.

No big. Didn't really think too much about it until my co-worker comes in my office one day in late November and goes 'Lena, you have to switch your vacation days.' I looked up and said 'Hi Tracy, how are you and what are you talking about?' Tracy said, 'Yeah, I booked plane tickets to see my sister in December and it's during the time you're out.

My tickets are non-refundable so you'll have to change your days off.' Now, mind you, I was being told what to do, not asked. Wrong move, Tracy. 'Tracy, sorry that your tickets are non refundable, but I'm traveling at that time and mine are too (they weren't, but b**ch didn't need to know that). I can't change my days.'.

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She looks at me, in all seriousness and says, 'Well, Lena, what am I supposed to do?' I just looked at her and said 'I don't know, Tracy, you'll have to figure that out.' Tracy turned on her heel and left my office with a big scowl in her face.

She ended up having to buy new tickets for the following week and probably lost several hundred dollars in doing so. Thing is, had she actually not been such a demanding b**ch about the whole thing, I would have checked to see if it were possible for us to change our tickets. But with the attitude she had toward me, she could go pound sand.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, praising their backbone while roasting the coworker’s poor planning. Some saw the coworker’s $2,000 claim as a risky bluff; others warned of potential office grudges. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the drama?

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This tale of vacation wars shows how quickly workplace fairness can turn personal. The OP’s fight to see their sister won out, but at the cost of a coworker’s plans and some office harmony. It’s a reminder that policies exist for a reason, yet human emotions can muddy the waters. What would you do if your carefully laid plans were challenged by a coworker’s costly mistake? Share your thoughts and experiences—have you ever had to fight for your time off?

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