AITA for taking no responsibility for my room mate’s hypothetical dog?

Imagine a cozy apartment where a casual chat about getting a dog turns into a battle of boundaries. One roommate, eager to adopt a furry friend, faces a firm stance from the other: “I’ll be nice to your dog, but I’m not its keeper.” When pressed to step up for feeding or care during busy days, the answer is a resolute no, leaving the dog-loving roommate frustrated and reconsidering her plans.

This Reddit tale, buzzing with modern living tensions, dives into the clash between personal freedom and shared responsibilities. The refuser’s clear boundaries spark debate about fairness and pet ownership in shared spaces. Is it rude to opt out of dog duties, or is the roommate’s expectation the real overreach? Let’s fetch the details of this domestic drama.

‘AITA for taking no responsibility for my room mate’s hypothetical dog?’

My room mate wants a dog. I have always said that I love other people’s dogs but I’d never own one myself. We agreed that both parties would need to be on board with adopting any animals so we sat down to discuss her getting a dog.

I straight up said “I have no problem being nice to your dog, letting her/him out when I’m home, and maybe even cuddling with her but I will never ever feel responsible for her. If I’m home alone with the dog but my friends ask me to come out, I won’t give up plans to accommodate your dog.

I also won’t contribute anything financially to the dog”. She said “uh but what about days I have school and work? You won’t feed her and let her out for me?” I said yes if I was home I wouldn’t mind doing that but if I have other plans come up,

I’m not going to feel committed to making sure your dog gets fed and properly watched while I’m gone. That’s on you. I’ll let you know if I’m leaving her home alone but that’s it. She kind of rolled her eyes and said “you’d leave her just because knowing I’m stuck at school and work on day?” Yes I would.

Now we are reconsidering the dog because her school and work schedule is packed at the moment but she’s not happy about it. She thinks I’m being rude for not wanting to help out more even though my schedule is much more open than hers.

This doggy dilemma is a masterclass in boundary-setting. The person’s refusal to take on their roommate’s potential pet responsibilities—beyond occasional kindness—protects their autonomy, but it grates on their roommate’s hopes. Her expectation of shared care, despite her packed schedule, hints at an unfair lean on her housemate.

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Pet ownership demands commitment. A 2023 American Pet Products Association report notes that 66% of U.S. households own pets, but inadequate time allocation often leads to neglected animals. The roommate’s busy school and work life already suggest a poor fit for dog ownership, making the other’s stance practical, not harsh.

Dr. Stanley Coren, a pet behavior expert, says, “Clear agreements on pet care prevent resentment in shared households”. Here, the person’s upfront clarity aligns with this, while the roommate’s eye-rolling pushback ignores their limits. A compromise—like her arranging backup care—could ease tensions, but her schedule may doom the dog plan regardless.

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This story reflects broader issues of shared living and responsibility. Roommates must respect individual boundaries, especially with high-maintenance pets. The person might soften delivery but isn’t obligated to bend.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s take on this pet standoff is as lively as a puppy chase! From applause for the person’s boundaries to shade at the roommate’s unrealistic expectations, the community rallies behind personal freedom.

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tbooker8 - NTA. Not your dog, not your responsibility. If you were getting the dog *together* and committing to sharing responsibilities, different story. That doesn’t sound like the case. If her schedule is jam packed, now is not the right time for her to get a dog anyway. Dogs need a lot of time, attention, and training. Especially at the beginning.

stunning-stasis - NTA. Not your problem. She wants you to share the burden with no benefit.

Susantown - NTA & I LOVE that you are having boundaries. It's amazingly common for people wanting to want to unload their responsibilities onto others and being shocked that the put-upon party has an issue with it. Not your dog, not your problem. Roommate doesn't sound ready for a dog, either logistically or responsibility-wise.

Nallthatcudhavebeen - NTA. Does she expect you to just drop everything for something that is supposed to be her responsibility? You're being kind enough to be upfront about what you'd be willing to do to help her with it in the first place.

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Dobbyharry - Get a cat

PutinBernieTrump3way - NAH. I note that you say 'We are' reconsidering the dog. You've now given her your parameters and she needs to decide if she's amenable to agreeing to them. Sounds like healthy dialogue I wish more people would have before getting pets together.

EtrosGuardian - NTA. Just like I won't get a pet until I can accommodate its needs. Not your dog, not your problem.

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hmg07 - NTA. Sounds like she is not in a position right now to get a dog. I've never understood people deciding to get a pet when they don't have the time or accommodations for one.

jaidenlm - NTA. You've made your intentions very clear. Why would she want a dog if she couldn't spend that much time with it anyway?

[Reddit User] - NTA. It's not your responsibility and you told her as much.

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These reactions highlight the value of clarity, but do they miss the roommate’s perspective entirely?

This dog debate proves that even hypothetical pets can stir real drama. The person’s firm stance on avoiding dog duties protects their freedom but stalls their roommate’s dreams, showing how boundaries shape shared spaces. With the dog plan on hold, it’s a reminder to align expectations early. Have you clashed with a roommate over pets? What would you do in this fur-filled feud? Share your thoughts below!

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