AITA For getting upset with my morbidly obese cousin for editing a pic of me?

At a lively family gathering, filled with laughter, games, and the clink of glasses, an 18-year-old woman poses for a photo with her cousin, expecting a cherished memory. But the next morning, a glance at Instagram delivers a gut punch: the cousin, Annie, has edited the photo to make her look 200 pounds heavier, claiming it’s for “body positivity.” The betrayal stings, turning a joyful moment into a public misrepresentation of her identity.

This Reddit saga dives into the murky waters of consent and body image. The young woman’s fight to reclaim her image sparks a heated family clash, raising questions about respect and the true meaning of self-acceptance. It’s a story that hits home for anyone who’s faced their image being twisted without permission.

‘AITA For getting upset with my morbidly obese cousin for editing a pic of me?’

I (18f) recently went to a family gathering that my parents were in charge of. They had food, drinks, and games. I’ll call the cousin in question Annie. Annie (28f) is morbidly obese, we never talk about weight or anything like that in our family. I respect and love her and don’t have a problem with her weight.

At the party she wanted to take a bunch of pictures with people. She got this one really cute picture of me and her and asked if she could post it. I said of course and the rest of the party went without incident. The next morning when I checked Instagram I was horrified to see that she had SEVERELY edited the picture.

She made me look like I was about 200 lbs heavier than I am. Fitness and health is super important to me, I exercise daily and eat really well. I have no problem with her size or anything, but I don’t want her to make me look the same as her especially since she is friends with like all of my friends and family.

She posted about three pics: one with me and her (the edited one), one with her husband, and one of just her. Anyways I called her and asked why she edited the picture. She explained that she was trying to promote body positivity and show that it’s ok to be plus sized. I said okay fine, but you didn’t get my permission.

Also, isn’t that kind of portraying that my body isn’t okay?? She got really upset and refused to take down the photo. She then started ranting and said I don’t understand what it’s like to be fat and life is just so easy for me. I was very upset by this and argued that no, I work hard for my body. She got really mad and hung up.

I talked to the rest of my family about it and my parents and siblings were totally on my side. But, my other cousin (30f) called me and screamed at me that Annie has always struggled with weight and food comforts her and I am such a jerk.

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She then was saying she would make sure the photo never got taken down??? I thought I was right but now I kinda feel bad. I didn’t mean to bring up weight issues and I didn’t say it was easy being Annie. I just didn’t want that photo of me out there. Am I in the wrong?

EDIT: Thanks for all the responses everyone!! They’re really helpful! I’m going to report the photo and get my parents to as well. Also, I’m going to update my profile picture just in case. I understand wanting to call her out and stuff online, but I know she really cherishes social media and her followers and I don’t want to put her down.

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I think she’s just in a bad place right now, all I really want is the photo to be removed. EDIT #2: I know it seems like I’m enabling her, but I’m not trying to. I’m just trying to handle this situation with caution. I just don’t want to burn any bridges with my cousin or the rest of my/her family.

EDIT #3: For those of you saying I’m fat phobic and I shouldn’t have said I worked hard for my body, I wasn’t trying to imply that anyone else doesn’t. I was just clarifying that “everything doesn’t come super easy for me”.

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I wasn’t even telling her that she doesn’t work hard, I just didn’t think it was fair for her to label me as someone who does nothing and is just lucky to look the way I look. Also, I never said I wouldn’t be upset if she edited me to be skinnier too. I would be upset if she edited me in anyway. I’m happy with the way I look and I don’t want my pics altered.

UPDATE: Sorry I’ve been busy with work, but I reported the post and so did my parents and two other siblings. I also told my parents how upset it made me, and they want to step in. They’re gonna talk with my aunt and Annie this weekend about it.

Hopefully that clears some this up, but my aunt said Annie doesn’t want me there. So she’s still really angry I guess. I also updated my profile pic but I’m pretty sure most of my friends and family knew it was altered (that’s what my parents helped me realize because I’ve seen like most of them within the last 6 months).

This family fallout reveals the delicate dance of body image and consent. Annie’s unauthorized edit to make her cousin appear heavier undercuts personal autonomy, a growing concern in the digital age. A 2023 study by the Pew Research Center found 64% of teens worry about online misrepresentation, especially on social media . Annie’s claim of promoting body positivity misfires by altering someone else’s truth.

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Dr. Renee Engeln, a body image psychologist, states, “True body positivity celebrates all bodies as they are, not as we imagine them” . Annie’s edit, while perhaps rooted in her own insecurities, dismisses her cousin’s agency and hard-earned fitness identity. The cousin’s reaction—demanding the photo’s removal—was a stand for self-respect, not a jab at Annie’s weight. The family’s split response, with some defending Annie’s struggles, highlights a common tension: balancing empathy with accountability.

To resolve this, the cousin could calmly reiterate her need for consent, suggesting Annie post unedited photos to promote authentic positivity . Reporting the photo, as she did, was a practical step.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit gang rolled up with a mix of cheers and sharp takes, ready to unpack this photo fiasco. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

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Stunning_Day3957 − You are Nta. Your cousin is. What you do is post a picture of you in the comments and say i don’t look like that

AspieSeiko − NTA. Sounds like she just didn't want to be the biggest person in the photo (especially with her response to you working hard on your own Body). I'm sure weight can be a sore subject for morbidly obese people, but that doesn't mean she has the right to act like this.

And just because you're thinner, it definitely doesn't mean that your life is 'just so easy' And isn't body positivity about feeling good in the skin you're in? Why would she use that to justify her editing your body to look like hers?

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[Reddit User] − NTA, and I would take that photo and upload along with a photo of what you actually look like, to every social media platform you have mutual family and friends. Call her out. This is completely unacceptable.. If the roles were reversed and you photoshopped her to be skinny, could you imagine her outrage?

Difficult-Ad-2252 − So NTA. As someone who he struggled with my weight for years, I take full ownership and responsibility for that. Food didn’t make me fat, I did. And body positivity does not mean making a healthy person look bigger to make someone feel better. Body Positivity is about accepting all bodies and being confident regardless of size. Sorry this happened to you.

AwkwardFortuneCookie − How would she feel if you trimmed 200 lbs off her for a photo op? She’d take it as a slight, right, like you were shaming her body as it currently exists? Just because the shoe is on the other foot doesn’t make your cousin any less of an AH — and a jealous, petty one at that.

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CakeZealousideal1820 − NTA report the photo and it will get taken down. She needs to work on her on body image issues

praegressus1 − NTA. She is mentally unstable and is surrounded by enablers and sycophants.. Best methods going forward:. - report the photo. - inform your family. - tell them off and refuse to see them again. - make a post comparing images and calling them out. Including their entourage and their texts.. - block them

MxBluebell − NTA!! Annie sounds like she’s got some serious issues she needs to work through. I’m morbidly obese myself, and I would NEVER edit the photo of someone thinner than me to “promote body positivity”. Body positivity is not just about fat acceptance, and that’s what a lot of obese people need to realize.

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Body positivity is about loving your body AS IS, not 200 lbs lighter, and *certainly* not 200 lbs *heavier.* I get where Annie’s coming from. Being heavy sucks. In an ideal world, I would weigh about 90 lbs less, but I have medical conditions that literally prevent me from losing weight and cause me to gain when I haven’t done anything to warrant gaining.

I hate looking at myself in the mirror some days, and when my fiancé holds my belly or love handles and tells me how much he loves my “soft, squishy body”, it makes me want to curl up under a blanket and hide because I hate when my fat is pointed out like that, even if he’s only trying to make me feel better about myself.

But you know what? None of those issues means that I get to tear down the people around me to bring their confidence to my low level. I’ve got friends of all weights. I’ve got friends that are chubby like me, I’ve got friends who are model thin, I’ve got friends who are *too* thin due to their crazy metabolisms, I’ve got friends who are perfectly average… and guess what?

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They are ALL BEAUTIFUL just as they are!! THAT is what body positivity is. All bodies are good bodies, just as they are!! OP, you are gorgeous just as you are. You’d still be gorgeous if you lost or gained weight. But you, right in this moment? That’s the you that you should love!! You should love yourself as-is, no matter *what* weight you are. Annie sounds like she needs a reality check.

throwawaywork2124 − NTA. Body positivity is all about being happy in your own body. And I say that as a woman who has struggle with their weight for all of my life. This is not that.

HunterDangerous1366 − Annie needs to work on her own insecurities. She can't promote body positivity while altering your appearance to fit her narrative. That's not what body positivity is about. The original picture should have shown two cousins, with different body types, having a good time no matter your size.

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Instead she's done the opposite and you hit the nail on the head with your response. Annie might struggle with her weight, but that's noones problem or business to solve except hers. She's either as happy as she says she is or she isn't. I personally would report the picture. Get your mum/dad etc to report it too and maybe put her in time out for a while or at least till she apologises.. NTA.

Redditors rallied behind the young woman, slamming Annie’s edit as a violation of trust while questioning her body positivity logic. Some urged a public callout; others praised her restraint. But do these fiery opinions capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the family fire?

This tale of a tampered photo reminds us that personal boundaries are non-negotiable, even among family. The young woman’s stand against her cousin’s edit defends her truth while exposing the complexities of body image debates. As Annie clings to her narrative, the family’s divide grows, leaving us to ponder respect and authenticity. What would you do if someone altered your image without consent? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation going!

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