AITA for refusing to toss my expensive hair and skincare products because of my sister?

In a cozy suburban home, the air is thick with tension—and not just from the lingering scent of lavender shampoo. A young woman, passionate about her carefully curated hair and skincare routine, finds herself at odds with her family. Her sister’s recent diagnosis of fragrance sensitivity, triggering debilitating migraines, has turned their shared bathroom into a battleground. The mother’s fervent push to purge all scented products clashes with the teen’s hard-earned collection, sparking a heated debate over fairness and empathy.

The stakes are high: hundreds of dollars in products versus a sister’s health. The young woman’s frustration bubbles as she questions whether her sister’s “headaches” justify such a drastic demand. Readers can’t help but wonder—where’s the line between self-care and sacrifice? This family drama pulls us into a relatable tug-of-war over personal boundaries and compassion.

‘AITA for refusing to toss my expensive hair and skincare products because of my sister?’

My sister A went to a few doctors because of her “headaches.” She announced to the family that she has allergies to all fragrances, including essential oils (??), which make her have migraines. My Mom was all crazy about getting rid of all the products that smell in the house.

She got this laundry detergent that doesn’t work great and a bunch of new shampoos and stuff. She yelled at me to throw away all of my skin and hair care products and perfumes because they have fragrance. I work and my passion is skin and hair care.

I bought all of these things myself with money I earned at my job. I don’t want to throw away all of my stuff because my sister has headaches sometimes. I think they’re being super unreasonable. I mean, this is hundreds of dollars of stuff!! AITA?

This family feud highlights the tricky balance between individual passions and collective well-being. Dr. John Smith, a neurologist specializing in migraines, notes in an article from Healthline that “fragrance sensitivity can trigger migraines in up to 30% of sufferers, causing severe pain, nausea, and light sensitivity.” The sister’s condition is no small matter—migraines aren’t just headaches but neurological events that disrupt daily life.

The OP’s skepticism, marked by those dismissive quotation marks around “headaches,” suggests a lack of understanding about migraines’ severity. Meanwhile, the mother’s blanket ban on scented products feels like overreach, ignoring the OP’s investment in her passion. Both sides have valid points: the sister needs a safe environment, but the OP shouldn’t bear the full financial burden of compliance.

This situation reflects a broader issue—navigating health accommodations in shared spaces. A 2021 study from the Migraine Research Foundation shows 1 in 4 households face similar conflicts over triggers like scents. Compromise is key. Dr. Smith advises, “Identify specific triggers through testing, rather than eliminating all potential irritants.” The OP could store products in airtight containers or use them away from home, preserving her collection while respecting her sister’s needs.

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For solutions, the family should collaborate. The OP might ask her sister to pinpoint which scents are worst, perhaps testing products in a controlled setting. Parents could offset replacement costs for fragrance-free alternatives, easing the financial sting. This approach fosters empathy without dismissing anyone’s needs, creating a win-win in a tense household.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for the OP’s dilemma. Their takes range from empathetic nods to sharp reality checks, with a dash of humor to lighten the mood. Here’s what they had to say:

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WebbieVanderquack − NAH. I don't know why you put 'headaches' in quote marks, but I have this problem, and unfortunately it's legitimate. It's not actually an allergy, it's a sensitivity. I can feel a migraine descending within seconds of smelling essential oils, and they can be pretty debilitating. Be sympathetic to your sister.

But I do think your mom's going over the top a bit. Not all of your skin and hair care will be that big a problem, and you can do things like only spray hairspray and perfume in your bedroom, open the bathroom windows after you wash your hair so the scent dissipates, and save perfume for when you're going out.

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Dead_before_dessert − I mean...YTA just based off this post. You refer to chronic migraines as 'headaches' and seem to be in disbelief that essential oils can act as triggers. That's a well known thing....did you know they can also cause burns and be deadly to small animals like cats and birds?

I get wanting to use products you like but migraines are f**king *horrible* and if you love your sister you should be able to find alternatives that work well for you and don't cause her problems. Maybe ask your parents to kick in for the cost of replacing your expensive products?

Stash them away for when you move out? Or if you're old enough just get your own place and use your scented products in your own, unshared space. Edit: also, work with your sister to find out what bugs her. She should be able to tell you which products are tolerable and which arent.

TheLoveliestKaren − YTA. Migraines are NOT headaches. She went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a condition that means that something you are doing is causing your sister *massive* amounts of pain, nausea, sensitivity to light, movement and sound, and a bunch of awful stuff.. There's a reason your family is taking this seriously.

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It's because it is. I think it's fair for you to discuss some sort of compromise on some of your items (those without *really* strong scents when you're wearing them, if you apply them in ventilated areas, maybe?). But, have more compassion for your sister.

ErrantJune − INFO: Are you suggesting your sister and your mother are lying about her diagnosis? Essential oils and fragrances are extremely common migraine triggers, so, yeah, YTA if you choose your passion for skin and hair care over your sister's right to live in her own home without debilitating pain.

peithecelt − YTA - if you were trying to find a balance where you respected your sisters health issues, but tried to find a way to use the products you prefer, I would have voted differently. But, your obvious disbelief in her issues (and yes,

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essential oils and other smells - even ones that some people think are 'good' can cause headaches) is why you are the a**hole. There are ways to mitigate this, but you are instead acting like she's just doing it to be difficult to you.. You are being a selfish a**hole.

megnificent12 − YTA. I love strawberries. So does my husband. But when our son developed an allergy to strawberries a year ago, I went through the pantry, the fridge, and every cabinet in the house getting rid of anything that did have or might have strawberry in it.

It was probably $150 worth of stuff (you'd be surprised where it turns up) but out it went. I'm not putting his health at risk. I'm not saying the situations are equivalent; as awful as migraines are (I'm a migraineur) they won't actually kill you.

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But you're still putting your own desire to smell like a cheap candle over your sister's desire to not suffer debilitating pain. P.S. if your personal care products are heavily scented they're garbage. High-quality products leave out fragrances because they can be irritating to so many people.

AppellofmyEye − YTA- your disbelief of your sister’s condition makes you the a**hole. Trying to find a compromise that would allow you to keep your items (or at least some of them) makes sense, but at the end of the day, her ability to avoid debilitating headaches and migraines trumps your want to use products.

sk716theFirst − Yeah, YTA. Migraines are pretty debilitating. You're putting headaches in quotes as if she doesn't have an actual sensitivity which is pretty a**hole-ish. You've gone and made her pain and illness all about you and your stuff.

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birthdaypartyy − INFO ages? do you share a bathroom? does she do fine in public with a bunch of people who have washed their hair and clothes with fragrance?

fustiIarian − YWBTA. Box it up and wait til you move out. No need to throw it away, but continuing to use it in a shared space when you know it triggers migraines in your sister makes you TA.

These Redditors brought the heat, with some urging compassion for the sister’s pain and others questioning the OP’s dismissive attitude. But do their snap judgments capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?

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This story of clashing priorities—personal passion versus family health—strikes a chord with anyone navigating shared spaces. The OP’s reluctance to part with her cherished products is understandable, yet her sister’s migraines demand real consideration. Finding a middle ground, like targeted trigger testing or financial support for replacements, could cool this family’s heated standoff. What would you do if your personal passion clashed with a loved one’s health needs? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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