AITA for giving away my daughter’s dog?

In a quiet suburban home, the faint sound of a teenager’s sobs echoes down the stairs, a stark contrast to the joyful barks that once filled the air. A father, torn between financial strain and his daughter’s emotional well-being, made a gut-wrenching choice to rehome her beloved dog, her lifeline through depression. The decision, meant to ease household burdens, instead unleashed a storm of resentment, leaving readers to wonder how far parental pragmatism should stretch when a child’s heart is at stake.

This tale dives into the messy intersection of love, responsibility, and mental health. The daughter’s fierce attachment to her furry companion clashes with her father’s practical concerns, painting a vivid picture of a family fraying at the edges. It’s a story that tugs at heartstrings, urging us to weigh the cost of tough calls.

‘AITA for giving away my daughter’s dog?’

My daughter is 16 and struggles with depression. My wife decided a year ago on her 15th birthday to get her a puppy just so she had a companion. She was instantly attached to him as he was to her and she took on full responsibility fir him aside from vet care because she can't afford that.

She was very good at taking care of him. Never missed a meal or a walk. The problem was that no matter how well taken care of he was, he always makes messes in the house. We tried getting him house trained many times, and we had to have puppy pads at all times and it was starting to burden us financially.

So two weeks ago, I told my daughter that since nothing is working, I think he needs to be with a family who can keep up with his high maintenance. She did not take it well, and these are her words: 'I'm the one who takes care of the dog and cleans up after him, it's barely affecting you.'

I told her that it is because of how many additional things we have to get just to make sure his messes are smaller. She looked me dead in the eye and said 'If you take MY dog away from ME I promise you I will make your life a living hell for the next two years that I live with you.'

I gave the dog to a very stable family two days later. My daughter has been avoiding us, and has only spoken to us to make snarky comments. If I come down to her room to talk to her, she looks around and says 'hmm what are you gonna take from me next?' or 'how do you wanna ruin my life now?' It's exhausting to deal with.

She'll come upstairs and start crying and saying that she's now all alone and has nobody, and she accuses us of not loving her. One thing she said before we gave the dog away is 'If you give my dog away, I'll know where I stand with you because if you truly cared about me and my wellbeing you wouldn't put me in a position where my mental state plummeted.'

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She now holds us to that and often says 'Why are you asking if I'm doing fine? You don't give a f**k about me and you're only asking to make yourself look good.' and 'You don't love me you caused me to have a depressive episode' etc.

I really feel awful about this situation and I feel like I made the wrong decision in giving her dog away, because now my kid has not expressed a hint of positive emotion unless she's on a call with her friends or her boyfriend. AITA?

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Parenting a teen with depression is like navigating a minefield blindfolded, and the OP’s choice to rehome his daughter’s dog lit a fuse. Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Pets can be critical for teens’ mental health, offering unconditional support” (Psychology Today). The daughter’s devotion to her dog suggests it was a vital coping tool, making its removal a devastating blow.

The OP’s concern about financial strain is valid, but his daughter’s claim that she handled most responsibilities undercuts his reasoning. A 2022 study by the American Pet Products Association shows 70% of U.S. households own pets, often budgeting for their care despite costs (American Pet Products Association). The OP’s unilateral decision ignored collaborative solutions, like discussing budgeting or training options with his daughter.

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This situation reflects broader challenges of balancing family finances with emotional needs. Dr. Damour emphasizes open communication to maintain trust. The OP could have explored affordable training or involved his daughter in problem-solving, preserving her sense of agency. Instead, rehoming the dog fractured trust, amplifying her depression.

For solutions, the OP should consider retrieving the dog if possible or discussing a new pet with clear financial boundaries. Apologizing and validating her feelings could rebuild trust. Engaging a therapist, as Damour suggests, might help the family navigate this rift, ensuring the daughter feels heard and supported.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit squad didn’t hold back, dishing out fiery takes like a barbecue with too much hot sauce. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, brimming with outrage and empathy:

Wool_Corgi − YTA, she took care of it and cleaned up it's messes and it was clearly helping her with her depression and such. I don't blame her for being pissed, it was HER pet.

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[Reddit User] − Holy YTA - you gave away her dog? And now you’re annoyed that she won’t trust you or talk to you after she took as much responsibility as she physically could for him? You could have tried a trainer or taken the dog to a vet for advice. You knew how much she loved that dog and how much he meant to her, you are TA and you must know you are.

menomaminx  - YTA!. also, did I mention....... YTA!. I'd never forgive you. your daughter would be insane to trust you again. you better hope she forgives you when you give the dog back,but I promise you she'll never forget if she even has the slightest bit of sanity.

banjotwenf − Why Is this even a question?? YTA

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lillady99 − What the hell is wrong with you. Youre not only an a**hole, you're a heartless a**hole. I have so many n**ty things to say. I cant even. Wow.

ljn23 − YTA. Please get her dog back. This is so sad.

CheruthCutestory − YTA Dogs are living creatures if you get one you are responsible for it. You don’t get to just dump it for being inconvenient. And failure to train properly is entirely on you. It takes time but the dog would get there.

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Not to mention the heart ache you caused your daughter for no particularly good reason. Your daughter will never view you the same way nor should she.. With treatment she will heal and grow past this time of extreme depression. But she won’t forgive this.

Wise_Possession − YTA. Jeez. You get rid of a living being because he's having a bit of trouble being housetrained. I've had dogs my whole life and my current dog took a year and a half to housetrain - he's pretty dumb (but sweet as sugar!).

If your daughter was cleaning up the messes, working on training him, providing his care, then you just punished her for being responsible. If it's too expensive, you should have told her to get a job to pay for the pads. And to do this when the dog was helping her depression? Wow. I hope she does make your life difficult for two years. Of course then you'll probably get rid of her too.

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[Reddit User] − Okay look. Even if it were just an ordinary pet, YWBTA for taking away your child's pet when they're doing everything they can to care for it and doing a good job. Add in that this was actively helping your daughter's depression...

Does the mere knowledge of messes that you don't even have to clean up actually bother you more than *your daughter's clinical depression?* Or is it the 20 cents per puppy pad that's such an outrage? How much do you think her antidepressants and therapy are going to cost?

Hint: it is more than the cleaning supplies. And if the cost is really such a hardship--she's 16. She can get a job. It could be good for her to do so (current pandemic excepted). You could have talked to her about this, you could have looked for solutions, but instead you did what was easiest for you despite knowing it would be most harmful for her.

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And THEN after you did this huge hurtful thing to your daughter who has extra reason to be affected by it, THEN you have the GALL to complain that she's unhappy with you two weeks later? How the hell can you look at this situation and feel indignant that your daughter *has feelings*?

She's RIGHT to wonder what you'll take from her next: that's exactly what you did and it rightly broke her trust in you in a completely reasonable and predictable way. She no longer feels her possessions are safe from you *and she is correct*. If you decide her phone costs too much or her clothes are too messy or whatever,

you have *shown her by your actions* that you'll take them away without even trying to problem solve with her and there's nothing she can do about it. She's RIGHT to say that if you cared about her mental health you wouldn't have done this.

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There may be some necessary things you have to do that will upset her, and it wouldn't be fair of her to complain this way about those, but this was not one of them and you DID harm her mental health needlessly. She's RIGHT that it's ridiculous to ask if she's okay when you know very well that she's not and you caused it.

And you complain that her justified anger and hurt and distrust, *which you caused*, are just so exhausting for you? You poor baby. YTA. YTA so undeniably and resoundingly that I'm amazed nobody in your life has managed to clue you in. I suspect the only way you're ever going to understand how badly you've f**ked up is if it actually starts to affect YOUR life, so I hope for your daughter's sake that it does.

mckennamckennamarie − YTA as a dog trainer (and pet owner who deals with a similar issue due to my dogs low confidence level we are working on it) potty training cannot be taught by a trainer unless they live with you. That’s all on the entire family for not potty training him.

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You took the dog in, that dog was relying on you and your daughter to care for it. Animals are not something you can only keep until it gets inconvenient. Many senior pets have accidents too were you going to get rid of him then as well? It’s part of having a pet.

And you took away your daughters source of joy. It got her out of the house getting fresh air, that dog gave her a reason to fight her depression, get out of bed, something to live for. And you took that. I cannot blame her at all for being pissed.

These Redditors slammed the OP for prioritizing convenience over his daughter’s mental health, with some suggesting practical fixes like trainers or jobs. Their fiery reactions show the dog was more than a pet—it was her anchor. But do their harsh words capture the whole story, or are they just fanning the flames?

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This heart-wrenching story of a dog given away reveals the delicate balance between practical decisions and emotional bonds. The OP’s choice to rehome his daughter’s companion, though driven by financial strain, shattered trust and deepened her depression. It’s a stark reminder that love and responsibility don’t always align neatly. How would you handle the clash between household burdens and a child’s emotional lifeline? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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