AITA for insisting in using a supposedly offensive pet name for my husband?

Picture this: a cozy living room, warm with the glow of a lazy afternoon, where a South American-born wife (34F) tosses a playful “gordito” at her husband (35M), her eyes sparkling with affection. In her culture, these little Spanish terms—think “little piggy” or “fatty”—drip with love, not insult, a sweet tradition passed down from her mom. But enter the sister-in-law (30F), crashing the scene like a storm cloud, armed with Google Translate and a furrowed brow, ready to battle over these “offensive” pet names.

Tensions simmer as cultural wires cross, leaving the wife torn—caught between her heart’s warm intentions and a guest’s chilly disapproval. Is she wrong to cling to these cherished nicknames, especially when her husband grins at the sound of them? Let’s dive into this spicy domestic saga and unpack the drama!

‘AITA for insisting in using a supposedly offensive pet name for my husband?’

I (34F) was born in a South American country before my family came to U.S. I am fluent in Spanish and I love to use it when I can. I don't know if you are aware of but Spanish is a language that add 'ito' or 'ita' ('little) at the end of a word and change the meaning entirely.

For example, I can say 'gordo' (fat) and sounds awful. However, if I say 'gordito' (fatty) it's like saying you are cute. Anyway, my mom used to call me 'mi gordita' and I was always skinny so you can see that it's more a term of affection than an actual description.

She even called my father 'mi chanchito' sometimes. The literal translation is 'little piggy' but in our culture it means something like 'my darling' in a kinda cheesy way. Since I see these terms in a really good light, I call my husband (M35) 'gordito' or 'chanchito'.

He even calls me back 'gordita' because he says it sounds cute. My SIL (30F) is staying with us due to some issues with her apartment and she heard me using these words. I guess she was curious and googled them. However, as google translate works, it gave her the literal meaning.

She got mad and told me I was being cruel to my husband. He was obese when he was younger and bullied for that. He is still a bit overweight due to some severe hypothyroidism. At first I thought she wasn't serious. I love my husband to death and that these terms are cute more than anything else.

She told me I should accomodate my language to the country I'm living in now and be more sensitive then I called her delusional. My husband sided with me and said that if he wasn't offended. At best, he was surprised the first time I called him like that,

ADVERTISEMENT

but that he quickly understood that it wasn't something out of malice. My SIL is moving in a few days and things are tense between us. However, my main concern is not being offensive to my husband.. AITA for insisting in using these pet names? I feel so bad :

EDIT: for context, he knows the meaning of these names. He asked me early during our relationship why I kept calling him like that. He got surprised when I told him the literal meaning but once I explained how it worked, he thought it was 'cute af' (his literal words back then

ADVERTISEMENT

EDIT 2: I checked the text and I made a mistake which I corrected. I actually called her delusional after her 'accomodating to our language comment'. At first I thought she wasn't serious to be honest.

When pet names spark family feuds, it’s a classic clash of culture and perception. The wife’s use of “gordito” and “chanchito” flows from a South American tradition of affection, but her sister-in-law sees red, clouded by literal translations and personal biases. Both sides dig in—one defending love, the other sensitivity—yet the husband’s comfort holds the key.

ADVERTISEMENT

This tussle mirrors broader cultural misunderstandings. A 2019 study from the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology notes that 68% of intercultural conflicts stem from misread social cues, like language nuances lost in translation (journals.sagepub.com). The SIL’s push to “accommodate” the local language hints at a subtle bias—perhaps a whiff of cultural superiority?

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, weighs in: “In relationships, terms of endearment are a private bond—outsiders often misjudge intent without context” (psychologytoday.com). Here, the husband’s delight in “gordito” signals trust, undercutting the SIL’s crusade. Markham’s insight highlights respect for personal boundaries over third-party outrage.

For solutions, communication is king. The wife could gently explain her cultural lens to the SIL, inviting questions. If tensions linger, stick to pet names in private—keep the love alive, but dodge the drama. Check Psychology Today for more on navigating family friction.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s hive mind chimed in with gusto—here are some hot takes, served with a side of sass and wisdom!

ADVERTISEMENT

eloel- − NTA, if your husband isn't offended, it's none of your SIL's business what you call him.

godrestsinreason − NTA, I speak Spanish and 'gordito/a' doesn't necessarily speak to anyone being fat in any way, depending on where you're from, or what culture's dialect you're using. My wife's family is Colombian, and the 1:1 translation is like calling a baby 'big boy'

and the nickname sticks forever. I have a 25 year old cousin nicknamed 'Gordo' or 'Gordito' and he's never been fat in his life. Sister in law has no idea what she's talking about, and she should go be a white savior for someone who needs it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Drappa23 − NTA. Op, I would talk to your husband and ask him if he HONESTLY doesn't mind the pet names. If he truly isn't comfortable with it, then stop. If it doesn't bother HIM, then keep doing what you're doing. Your SIL is the AH. Her comment about 'accommodating your language to the country you're currently in' is offensive as f**k.

Ignorant (and sometimes just naive) people don't realize that certain words in other languages have a literal definition, and then a slang definition. She chose to only use google translate and jump to conclusions, and refused to listen to you.

pnutbuttercups56 − NTA. She didn't understand the culturally use of the word or the culture you have with your husband. She thought you were insulting her brother and should have dropped it when you and your husband explained to.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. I’m also South American and this is very common (my mom uses it all the time). One year, for my dad’s birthday, she used it in a FB post and forgot that FB translates automatically to English since we live in the US. She was sent a lot of screenshots showing that her message in fact read “Happy birthday, fat boy!” She quickly corrected the typo (my dad wasn’t upset, they both found it funny, as did their friends). Your SIL is totally overreacting.

murder-she-yote − My husband is from Hong Kong and sometimes he will soothe me or our son by rubbing our tummy and murmuring something that loosely translates to this:. “Oink oink pig. Sharpen the knife.”. Cultural differences are a thing. SIL needs to stay in her lane. NTA.

CapriciousK − NTA. If he's cool with it, I don't see the issue. Sounds like your SIL is TA with that, 'if you move to this country better learn the language' BS.. Is she moving closer to you or further away?

ADVERTISEMENT

Pablo_Flash_Fan_69 − NTA I'm mexican and speak spanish at my house and my dad calls my mkm gordita and it isn't meant as a bad thing

[Reddit User] − NTA Your pet names for your SO are sweet and he obviously likes them. Your SIL is wrong for jumping to conclusion and then insisting she knows your native language, your intentions, and your husband better than you! It's pretty arrogant to think you can explain the words of a speaker when You. Don't. Speak.Spanish.

[Reddit User] − NTA. 100%. Hola mi amiga, tambien soy Latino, pero voy hablar em Ingles, y mi espanol no es muy bueno. Your SIL is, to put it mildly, insane. She's fallen pray to the 'offended on other's behalf' mentality, and is too mentally inadequate to snap out of it, and realize the only toxic individual is her.

ADVERTISEMENT

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality? Maybe the SIL just needs a crash course in Spanish slang—or a chill pill!

This tale of “gordito” and “chanchito” reveals a quirky clash—love’s sweet nicknames tangled in a web of cultural mix-ups and family tension. The wife’s heart shines through, backed by her husband’s grin, yet the SIL’s stance lingers like an awkward guest. A little understanding could smooth this bumpy ride. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Drop your thoughts, feelings, or wild stories below—let’s chat and unravel this spicy drama together!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *