WIBTA for continuing to sit at the back of the bus even after being told not to by another passenger?

Jonathan Hours
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The hum of a public bus sets the stage for a quiet commute, but tension flares when a young woman’s seat choice sparks an unexpected showdown. An 18-year-old, wary of unwanted attention, claims the back of the bus for safety, only to face a fellow passenger’s demand to move, labeling her presence “creepy.”

This clash over public space lands on Reddit, where users rally to debate boundaries, entitlement, and the unwritten rules of transit. Is it her right to sit where she feels safe, or should she yield to another’s comfort?

‘WIBTA for continuing to sit at the back of the bus even after being told not to by another passenger?’

I (18 F) take the bus everywhere because I would genuinely fear for the lives of everyone in my town if I ever got my driver's license. I always prefer to sit at the back of the bus because the way it's set up gives creepy old dudes little to no opportunity to sit near me and make unsettling comments, and I find that nearly every time I sit anywhere else something along those lines happens.

Nobody can sit behind me if I'm sitting at the back and the available seats are reduced due to the pandemic so it greatly limits the chances of gaining unwanted attention. I've been going to a two week paid program at my local college and this other girl boards the same bus as I do just before picking me up. I board the bus, put my earbuds in and mind my own.

I did it the whole week last week. On the Friday I noticed when I sat down she got up and moved places. I didn't think much of it though because I've not done anything to bother her. This morning when I boarded the bus she motioned for me to take my earbuds out and when I did she said 'Can you not sit around me, it's a bit weird and it makes me uncomfortable.'

I kind of chuckled, not meaning to but it just sounded absurd to me. I said 'I don't even interact with you and I'm literally five seats away, I don't know what to tell you.' She said 'Well I board the bus before you, first come first serve. Sit here when I'm not here, it's typically seen as creepy when you sit near strangers when there's all this open space.'

I put my earbuds back in and ignored her for the rest of the ride before getting off the bus Here's the thing, I'm all for people setting boundaries and whatnot but at the end of the day, it's a public bus. I can sit wherever I please as long as it's not in the aisle or in the seats that are restricted due to COVID. I'm honestly not sure what to think, it's iffy. WIBTA if I continued to sit in the back of the bus after being told not to?

This bus-seat standoff reveals a classic clash of personal boundaries in shared spaces. As social psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne notes, “Public settings require balancing individual needs with mutual respect” (source: Psychology Today). The young woman’s choice of the back seat prioritizes her safety, a valid concern given that 81% of women report experiencing harassment in public spaces (source: Stop Street Street Harassment, 2018).

The other passenger’s discomfort, while real, seems overstated, especially since the women were five seats apart with no interaction. Her demand reflects a sense of entitlement over public space, which can stem from anxiety or a need for control. Public transit, used by 10.1 million Americans daily (source: American Public Transportation Association, 2023), inherently involves sharing space, making such requests tricky to enforce.

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The broader issue here is navigating personal comfort in public settings. The young woman’s chuckle and refusal to move may have escalated tension, but her reasoning—avoiding harassment—is grounded. A compromise, like the other passenger relocating, could have eased the conflict, as she boarded first but didn’t own the space.

Dr. Whitbourne suggests open, non-confrontational dialogue to address such disputes. Both could discuss their needs calmly, perhaps agreeing to alternate seating areas.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit rolled in like a bus on overdrive, dishing out support for the young woman and shade for the complaining passenger. From calling out entitlement to defending public seating rights, the comments are a lively ride. Here’s a taste of the Reddit route—hop on!

StAlvis − NTA. 'Can you not sit around me, it's a bit weird and it makes me uncomfortable.'. '**Feel free** to go sit somewhere else that makes *you* more comfortable.'

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WebbieVanderquack − NTA.. it's typically seen as creepy when you sit near strangers No. it might be seen as creepy to sit *next* to a stranger in a bus full of empty seats, but 'near?'. There's definitely no unwritten rule that you have to sit as far away from other passengers as possible.

Virulencer − NTA. Why does she feel like she can dictate where others sit? I might feel differently if you sat right next to her but that doesn't seem to be the case. If she wants a full bus all to herself then she might want to rethink taking public transit.

Borgteddy − NTA. It would only be creepy if you sat right next to her if there are open places available.. But with 5 seats between you and her, you're at the other side of the bus.. You're also not interacting with her, so keep sitting where you want.

cmonmaan − NTA. She does not have ownership of the space and you aren’t harassing her or inconveniencing her in any way. She doesn’t get the entire back of the bus to herself.

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_Takub_ − Lol NTA and she can f**k off. If you want excessively personal space don’t take public transportation.

Quest_Otter228 − I'm going to go with NTA. Based on your post you are five seats away so you're not really sitting 'around' her. As you said you are also minding your own business and ignoring her. Also, since it's public transportation, chances are she's going to sit near a stranger at some point. I don't think this is about boundaries so much as she wants the back of the bus to herself.

She is right that it's first come first serve, but you're not asking her to give up her seat. If she feels it is creepy and there is so much empty space then she can move. If she bothers you about it say you have your own reasons to sit in the back of the bus, you don't have to give her your reasons (unless you want to) but they are good reasons.

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Really the only people who can tell you where to sit are the bus driver and the bus company and neither seem concerned with your seat choice. Until either bus authority says otherwise, sit where you want.

Grundlestiltskin_ − NTA, that girl doesn't make the rules on the bus lmao

CallMeWolfYouTuber − NTA. Typical entitled person. You're doing nothing wrong. If she doesn't like it she can move.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You pay to ride the bus just like she does. You can sit anywhere you want. It’s not like you are sitting right next to her. Like you said, it’s a public bus. She can get over herself!

These Reddit stops are packed with opinions, but do they hit the mark? Is the passenger’s request reasonable, or is she trying to drive the bus herself?

This transit tussle leaves us with an empty seat and a full plate of questions about public etiquette. The young woman held her ground for safety, but the other passenger’s plea lingers. Can they share the ride without stepping on toes, or is this a case of first-come, first-served? What would you do if someone asked you to move on a public bus? Share your thoughts below!

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