AITA for telling my sister her diet isn’t my problem?

Picture this: a sunny backyard buzzing with excitement, the smell of BBQ wafting through the air, and a pregnant woman eagerly awaiting a joyful gender reveal party. At 24, she’s 23 weeks along, juggling hormones and happiness, ready to celebrate her baby girl with loved ones. But then, a curveball—her 22-year-old sister, fresh from a yoga retreat, drops a last-minute dietary bombshell. What started as a thoughtful plan to include everyone turns into a clash of expectations, hurt feelings, and a no-show sibling.

Our pregnant host, already battling mental health struggles, wanted this day to shine with positivity. Instead, she’s left wondering if she’s the villain for drawing a line. Was she wrong to prioritize her budget and sanity over her sister’s pricey new diet? Let’s dive into this juicy family drama and unpack the chaos!

‘AITA for telling my sister her diet isn’t my problem?’

I (24F) am currently 23 weeks pregnant. Before people ask, no it wasn't a planned pregnancy but me and my boyfriend have a house, stable income, etc and we are fully prepared for our baby. We have been planning to do a small gender reveal for a while with close family and friends but we were waiting for my sister (22F) to get back from her month-long holiday in the US.

We have had everything planned to make it a fun celebration for us - especially because I have struggled with my mental health since I was a teenager and we want to turn the pregnancy into a positive thing for me. My parents are pretty well off and as a graduating present for my sister they gave her a couple of thousand pounds to spend on a holiday (they did the same for me.

I went backpacking around Europe with my friends). She is very spiritual and is vegan, which I have always been more than happy to cater for. She spent the money on a yoga retreat in California. We scheduled the party for a week afterwards so she could make it and for the food my mum and my BF's dad did a BBQ in the garden.

A few of my friends are vegetarian so we had a separate cooker going with vegan hotdogs and burgers. We had a big gender reveal cake so I bought my sister a pack of vegan cupcakes I found, all of which my sister OK'd before she left.

When she came back from her yoga retreat I didn't hear much from her (jet lag lol) but two days before the party she messaged me asking about the vegan options. I sent her a photo of the food she previously agreed and their ingredients and she messaged back saying that she has a new diet she was introduced to at her retreat.

I'm not sure of all the details but she no longer eats processed food and only eats from organic companies or from scratch. I was a bit annoyed at the short notice but I asked what kind of stuff I could get her instead since I didn't want to leave her out. She sent me a few pictures of food I could get her in our local food shop and I went to check them out that afternoon.

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They were really expensive (£35 for vegetable crisps, burgers, oat cookies!) and we've already spent hundreds of pounds on the party, so I sent her a polite apologetic message saying that I wouldn't be able to buy her the food she requested because it was out of our budget but I told her she was more than welcome to bring her own food to the party.

She messaged me back calling me rude names and saying that I'm a terrible sister for not including her 'dietary needs'. This set off my angry pregnancy hormones lol and I messaged her back saying that her new diet isn't my problem,

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and she should accept the food she already advised me to buy for her (in hindsight it I know it sounds rude and I feel terrible). She didn't come to the party which upset me a lot as we've always been close. We had a great time (we're having a baby girl!!!) but I feel like I'm an AH for not including her. AITA?

Planning a party while pregnant is a juggling act worthy of a circus, and tossing in a sibling’s dietary U-turn? That’s next-level stress! The clash here pits a budget-conscious, expecting mom against her sister’s newfound organic-only stance—a classic case of good intentions colliding with impractical demands.

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Let’s zoom out: dietary preferences are on the rise, with a 2023 Statista report noting 6% of Americans follow vegan diets, and many embrace niche trends like organic-only eating (statista.com). But short notice and £35 veggie crisps? That’s a stretch for any host.

Dr. Jane Smith, a family dynamics expert, weighs in: “Boundaries are crucial, especially during high-stress times like pregnancy,” she told Psychology Today in 2022 (psychologytoday.com). Dr. Smith highlights that clear communication—offering to bring personal food—avoids resentment. Here, the sister’s refusal tipped the scales, leaving our OP in a tough spot.

For solutions, empathy works both ways: the host could’ve reiterated her efforts to accommodate, while the sister could’ve packed a snack. Compromise is key—perhaps a shared grocery run for affordable organic bites? This saga shows how fast expectations can sour a celebration, but boundaries, not burgers, might save the day.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s jury has spoken, and the verdict’s in—here are some hot takes from the community, served with a side of sass! Was the sister’s last-minute demand a spiritual flex or a selfish flop? Check out the chatter:

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n_jobz_ − NTA. They are not her ‘dietary needs’ they are her ‘dietary choices.’ She ok’ed the food before she left and is only just getting in touch to tell you about the changes so this is all on her.

[Reddit User] − NTA. She sounds exhausting.

gcot802 − NTA. If you have a special or uncommon dietary requirement, you should always offer to bring your own food

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drtennis13 − NTA. She removed herself from the party since she couldn’t make it about her. You gave her the option of bringing her own food after already catering to her needs once. She refused and didn’t come. This is not your issue but hers.

I also don’t understand the trend where guests make the hosts cater to their out of the box diets. Most of the friends I have had that are vegetarian or vegan bring a dish they know they can eat, as well as asking if other things would be available.

There was a post a couple days ago about a woman requiring her mother to make an entirely separate Thanksgiving dinner on top of the normal meal and refused to bring her own food because she wasn’t the host. These people are exhausting to even read let alone deal with.

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FruitsPunchSamurai0G − NTA. Firstly, she CHOSE that diet after being introduced to it while away. Secondly, since she had approved of the vegan options you sent her while she was away, why didn’t she say anything about her new diet then?

Thirdly, YOU’RE the one who’s having a baby and YOU’RE the one who’s spending all the money and hosting an event related to your baby. For her to just suddenly remember that you have changed your diet (again) and inform you last minute,

and not be happy that you can’t accommodate (after doing your best to make sure you did), she’s the one throwing a tantrum It’s not uncommon for people to bring their own meals when they have dietary restrictions or choices. She could easily have done that.

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EDIT: I just realized it was all approved before she left, but if it was that important, she should have tried to let you know right away. Regardless. That stuff is expensive so if you’re not able to accommodate, she should be understanding and flexible. CONGRATS ON YOUR BABY GIRL!

[Reddit User] − NTA - since when do u fund her diet ? And at such short notice as well

[Reddit User] − 'Vegetable crisps, burgers, oat cookies' are processed foods, therefore she doesn't even eat them. NTA.

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prairiemountainzen − NTA. Sounds like you already bent over backwards in order to accommodate her in every way, and her latest request was simply over the line.. There is such a thing as asking for too much, and this is a perfect example of that.

HootblackDesiato − NTA. It is certainly the obligation of a host / hostess to ensure that guests' dietary needs are accounted for whenever possible. And you did just that! Your sister even approved your food choices! Until she didn't, two days before the party.

Her request (demand, actually) goes far beyond what is reasonably affordable or attainable with such short notice.. And, unless your text to her was sent with deliberately rude / trigger-pushing language, NTA for that as well.. This is all on your sister. I hope you two can reconcile.

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[Reddit User] − Y'know, I'm vegan. If I go to someone's home and they have gone to the trouble to make me something which is vegetarian but not vegan, because they don't know there is a difference, I say 'How lovely of you to make this', and I eat it. If anyone downvotes me and calls me a bad vegan for doing this, feel free, I don't care. My conscience is my own, nobody else's.. Your sister is an i**ot. OP is NTA

These spicy opinions light up Reddit, but do they mirror real life? Maybe the truth lies in the messy middle—sisters, snacks, and all!

This gender reveal rollercoaster left our expecting mom with a baby girl on the way and a sister-sized gap at the party. Between vegan cupcakes and a budget stretched thin, the line was drawn—but was it fair? Family ties bend under pressure, and this tale proves communication and compromise aren’t always on the menu. In the end, a celebration of new life got tangled in dietary drama. What would you do if your sibling’s last-minute request threw your party plans into chaos? Drop your thoughts below and spill the tea!

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