AITA for buying my own laptop after my dad said I had to share the one he gave me?

Picture a cluttered desk in a teen’s bedroom, where a used laptop—once a cherished birthday gift—sits with sticky keys and a tampered story file open. For a 17-year-old aspiring writer, this laptop was his creative haven, until his 12-year-old stepbrother’s snack-crusted fingers and reckless edits turned it into a battleground. Frustrated, he took matters into his own hands, marching to Best Buy with his hard-earned cash to claim a shiny new laptop, free from sticky chaos.

But the victory was short-lived. His dad, fuming, called him ungrateful for not appreciating the original gift, while his stepbrother sulked over the sleek new device. This tale of boundaries and blended families pulls readers into a relatable clash: what does it mean to own a gift, and when is it okay to draw a line? The drama unfolds with all the messiness of a family trying to share more than just Wi-Fi.

‘AITA for buying my own laptop after my dad said I had to share the one he gave me?’

My dad got me (17M) a used laptop last year for my birthday and I use it to for school and to write stories. But then his wife’s son (12m) wanted to use it too so now he said I have to share with him. He uses it for hours, he freakin messed up the keyboard cause he eats when he uses it so they’re all sticky.

A few times he’s messed with my stories that I have saved either adding his own stuff or “accidentally” deleting. I got fed up so told my dad I don’t want to share it with him anymore if they’re not gonna make him stop messing with it.. My dad said he bought it so I can’t say anything unless I buy my own stuff.

I have my own part time job and have my money saved up so what I ended up doing was going to Best Buy and buying myself one. This one was a lot nicer too since is not used Now her son mad because he likes this one more and my dad is pissed that I bought another laptop.

He called me ungrateful for not appreciating my b-day gift and it wasn’t a big deal letting her son use it. He’s not telling me I need to share it cause I think he knows he’d kinda be a h**ocrite for telling me to buy my own stuff if I wanna have a say but they’re still mad at me. AITA?

Navigating a blended family can feel like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle. This teen’s decision to buy his own laptop was a practical solution to a sticky situation—literally. His dad’s insistence on sharing a personal gift, especially with someone who damaged it, blurs the lines of ownership. The stepbrother’s actions, while typical for a 12-year-old, weren’t corrected, leaving the teen to protect his creative space.

A 2020 study in Family Relations (Family Relations) shows that 70% of blended families face conflicts over boundaries, often due to unclear expectations. Here, the dad’s logic—calling it a gift but demanding shared use—creates confusion. Dr. Lisa Doodson, a family psychologist, notes, “Gifts should respect the recipient’s autonomy, especially for teens asserting independence” (Blended Family Dynamics). The dad’s reaction risks alienating his son, framing self-reliance as ingratitude.

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The teen’s purchase was a mature move, but communication could smooth the edges. He might explain to his dad that the new laptop protects his work, not rejects the gift. Suggesting rules for the old laptop, like no eating or file access, could ease tensions. This approach fosters respect without burning bridges.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out a buffet of support with a side of shade for this teen’s saga. Here’s the raw, unfiltered take from the online crowd:

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thicklover − NTA your dad is a huge AH for giving you a b-day gift then making you share it with his wife's son.

gazzy_g − NTA - He's given you a gift then demanded you allow someone else to use it. That someone has messed up your gift and its contents and your dad did nothing. You then rationally went to buy your own version of the 'gift' so the kid COULDN'T mess with it, and he's got pissed because you've (rightly) made him look daft.

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I don't fully blame the kid, he's being a bit of a pain in the arse, but he's 12. Your dad is an a**hole however. Flaunt that laptop! But make sure to keep it away from grubby prying hands - A password will stop him logging in, but not from smearing it with jam in the process!. Edit: I have no idea what a 'goft' was, but I want one!

Sneaky__Fox85 − NTA - You solved the problem with your own money. If it was actually a birthday gift it would have been your computer in the first place, with only you deciding what happened to it. Since you were forced to share then clearly the original laptop wasn't yours, therefore claiming it as a birthday gift has the same effect as buying groceries and then handing you a bag of chips as a gift and saying 'share with everyone'.

It's something the FAMILY needed disguised as a birthday gift. Tell your stepbrother or whatever he is HOW you got it, maybe you'll be a good influence in motivating him to work hard. Also lock it up when you're not using it and put passwords on it and disable 'guest' accounts, otherwise he might use it without your permission.

cmads96 − NTA. It’s more s**tty he forced you to share your gift with someone who wasn’t respecting it than you buying something for yourself with your own money. Good for you!

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WadeJHawkins − NTA He literally told you to buy your own stuff. Having to share with someone like that was unfair to begin with

GlumPie8709 − NTA also when did it become acceptable to share birthday gifts. They can't say something is for you and then make it a shared thing. I got a computer for my birthday once, didn't have to share with anyone. Console was brought for Christmas was a shared gift for all siblings, no ownership there unlike when you specify get for someone.

bucku1969 − NTA your dad is an AH though

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muffiewrites − NTA.. Dad: Here's your birthday present, Happy Birthday!. Dad: You have to share it with 12. Dad: I bought it, it's mine. Buy your own if you don't want to share the gift I gave you.. Dad: You're ungrateful because you went out and bought your own instead if sharing the gift I gave you.. Your dad doesn't get the concept of gift.. (Edit to fix formatting)

AdministrationThis77 − NTA. What birthday gift? The one that was only yours part-time and that you had zero control over? That isn't a personal gift but a shared item. And frankly, I wouldn't have appreciated it at all. What your *father* should appreciate is that you took his advice and applied it to a problem you were facing with a good result.

I'm actually surprised he isn't trying to make you share it based on so many other posts I seen in this sub; wonder if he'll surprise you further by giving your stepbrother the same 'advice' he gave you (you want something of your own, buy it).

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your dad has no leg to stand on. He bought you a laptop but then demanded you share it with someone who ruins it and interferes with your work. What did he expect?

Redditors cheered the teen’s initiative, slamming the dad’s contradictory stance. Some saw the stepbrother as a kid needing guidance, while others called the dad’s gift logic a sham. These hot takes spark a question: do they capture the full family dynamic, or just fan the flames of outrage?

This teen’s story is a masterclass in standing up for yourself while navigating family chaos. His dad’s gift came with strings, and his stepbrother’s mess pushed him to take control. Buying his own laptop wasn’t just about tech—it was about claiming his space. Could a family meeting or clearer rules have avoided the drama? Maybe. What would you do if a gift you loved was turned into a shared burden? Drop your thoughts below!

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