AITA for cutting off my mother when she got a paternity test for my daughter?

A Reddit user shared a deeply personal situation involving his mother, wife, and daughter. After a brief breakup in their relationship, the user and his wife were unsure whether their daughter was biologically his due to the timing of their breakup and subsequent reunion.

While the user never cared about the biological connection, his mother took matters into her own hands and secretly ordered a DNA test for his daughter. Upon learning the results, she confronted him, suggesting divorce and disowning his daughter. The user, feeling betrayed, decided to cut contact with his mother. Was he wrong for this decision? Read the full story below…

‘AITA for cutting off my mother when she got a paternity test for my daughter?’

From a psychological standpoint, OP’s response was entirely appropriate. Parental bonds are not solely determined by genetics, but by love, care, and commitment. If a parent has already chosen to love and raise a child as their own, forcing a biological distinction serves no constructive purpose and can be deeply harmful.

Additionally, a child psychologist would strongly discourage any favoritism between siblings. Reinforcing a divide between the son and daughter based on biology could cause lasting emotional damage to both children. Grandparents should not be allowed to pick and choose which grandchildren to love based on DNA alone.

From a legal perspective, OP should consider documenting everything, especially his mother’s actions and communications. If she attempts to seek visitation rights for her grandson but not her granddaughter, having a clear record of her discriminatory behavior could be crucial in preventing legal complications down the road.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The overwhelming response from the online community was that OP was NTA (Not the Ahole). Most people agreed that his mother severely overstepped her boundaries and acted with malice, not concern.

This situation is not just about paternity—it’s about respect, boundaries, and loyalty. OP’s mother did not just overstep; she violated his trust, his wife’s privacy, and his daughter’s bodily autonomy. Her attempts to divide the family and treat her grandchildren unequally were rightfully met with firm rejection.

Cutting off toxic family members is difficult, but in this case, it was the right decision. OP has chosen to prioritize the well-being of his daughter and the integrity of his family over appeasing a manipulative parent. If his extended family cannot respect that, then perhaps they, too, are not worth keeping around.