AITA for saying my ex is successful because of nepotism?

A tense car ride home from a doctor’s appointment turned into a verbal showdown for one expectant mother. Sitting beside her successful ex, she bristled as he questioned her dream of launching an online baking business. His words, meant as advice, felt like a condescending jab, and her sharp retort—accusing him of owing his success to nepotism—ignited a firestorm of passive-aggressive remarks. The air crackled with unresolved tension, rooted in their shared past and the looming responsibility of co-parenting their unborn child.

This Reddit saga pulls readers into a relatable tangle of pride, ambition, and personal history. The woman’s frustration, paired with her ex’s bruised ego, raises questions about giving advice, accepting criticism, and navigating the delicate balance of co-parenting. Was her nepotism comment a fair hit or a low blow? Let’s dive into her story and the Reddit community’s take on this heated exchange.

‘AITA for saying my ex is successful because of nepotism?’

My ex and I are expecting a baby, so he accompanied me a few days ago to my appointment. As we were driving home, we made small talk and he brought up the fact that I was considering opening an online baking business with my friend. He basically was telling me it was a bad idea because the market was so saturated,

and we would be better doing something else. I told him he was being condescending and that it was none of his business. He claimed he was just looking out for me and trying to help prevent me from making a bad business move. He said he had a vested interest in my success now because of the baby.

I was annoyed so I told him he didn’t know as much about building a successful business from the ground up as he thought he did. My ex is an extremely successful businessman. He works hard but he also had all of the right connections and money needed to get to where he is.

He was offended by what I said and asked me what I meant. I replied “One word. Nepotism”. Long story short we ended up having a huge argument because he was so upset by what I said, and now he keeps making passive aggressive remarks about what I said like saying “nepotism paid for that” about anything he pays for.. AITA?

Navigating co-parenting while juggling personal ambitions can feel like walking a tightrope. In this story, the expectant mother’s clash with her ex reveals deeper tensions about validation and independence. Her accusation of nepotism struck a nerve, but was it warranted? Let’s unpack this with insights from relationship and business dynamics.

The woman’s ex offered unsolicited advice, likely aiming to protect her from a risky venture. As Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Criticism often stems from care, but it can land as contempt if poorly delivered”. Here, the ex’s delivery felt patronizing, prompting her defensive jab. His success, while aided by connections, doesn’t negate his hard work, and her comment oversimplified a complex reality, escalating their conflict.

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This spat reflects broader issues in co-parenting dynamics. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 60% of co-parents report conflicts arising from miscommunication or perceived slights. The woman’s focus on her ex’s privilege ignored his concern for their child’s future, while his passive-aggressive retorts fueled the fire. Both parties could benefit from clearer boundaries.

For budding entrepreneurs, the ex’s caution about a saturated market isn’t baseless. The Small Business Administration reports that 50% of food-related businesses fail within five years. Yet, dismissing her ambition outright risks stifling her drive. A balanced approach—acknowledging her passion while suggesting market research—could have avoided the nepotism jab.

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Advice: The woman should focus on constructive dialogue, addressing her ex’s concerns without personal attacks. For her business, exploring niche markets or unique branding could set her bakery apart. Both should prioritize open communication for their child’s sake, perhaps through co-parenting counseling.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sympathy and shade. Here’s a peek at their candid, sometimes snarky, takes on this co-parenting clash:

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[Reddit User] − ESH. He's being willfully blind to his privilege, but he's not wrong about it being risky to launch a new business in an oversaturated market with a new baby coming.

HereFishyFishy4444 − There are plenty people with connections and money who can't figure out how to make something work. Obviously it does make it easier to have that. But that alone isn't a guarantee for anything. So your comment is still mean and unjustified.

I can see why he upset you, because you didn't ask for his opinion (I'm guessing). And who knows, maybe your business will just be better than many others who are already there (not being sarcastic). On the other hand, maybe because he is successful and cares about you, he felt he could say something.. ESH

The_final_frontier_ − So your ex gives you some pretty sound advice about the restaurant industry and you chose to insult him about having the right network and coming from money?. You clearly have a chip on your shoulder.. YTA.

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dannybee3 − YTA. His comment was out of concern and meant to be helpful. Your comment was only used as an insult. The food industry sees some of the fastest and biggest failures for new businesses, and that was before the pandemic hit.

From one business owner to you, you're going to have problems building your business with that outlook. To be very honest, frowning upon using connections in an industry that is built on connections and networking is just going to make things more difficult for you.

When starting out it is your friends and family that will help promote you before you're able to build a customer base. And in today's world, their reviews mean EVERYTHING when attempting to get customers. Everything is public and online.

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People are more likely to choose the business people are talking about than the new one that nobody is even speaking of. He had a foot in the door from his family, but he built his success. All the connections in the world wouldn't have made him extremely successful if he didn't put in the work.

Devourer_of_felines − 'Am I an a**hole for discrediting all the hard work my ex did to become successful because he gave me business advice I didn't like to hear?'. Yes YTA.

buckettrike − and now he keeps making passive aggressive remarks about what I said like saying “nepotism paid for that” about anything he pays for. I'm confused. If you believe that nepotism gave him a leg up in life to the point that it invalidates his life experience, then you are benefiting from that exact same nepotism.

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Why do you feel it's okay for you to dish it out but feel it's unacceptable when the same is dished out to you?. Were your comments somehow not passive aggressive in your mind? Because you're simply wrong.. YTA

AJWordsmith − YTA. Nearly everyone who is successful as an entrepreneur is successful because of their connections. Nepotism would suggest that a family member put him in charge of a business when he was unqualified.

Is that what happened? Also, unless you’ve done some sort of actual research and identified a need for another online bakery in your area, he’s absolutely right about not starting one. Everyone thinks that they can do it better.

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Food businesses are the number one worst business idea. 60% fail in the first year. 80% within the first 3 years. A one in 5 chance of even making it 3 years? That alone is a good reason not to do it.

randominternettroll7 − YTA and you sound jealous. What does connected to the right people even mean? You're intentionally leaving that very vague. Is he just good at making relationships with other important people in the company?

Unless he literally just got handed a job at daddy's lawfirm you're an a**hole for calling it nepotism. He was just trying to give you advice, just because you didn't want to hear it didn't mean you had to attack his success. I can see why he's your ex.

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RaysUnderwater − YTA whether what you said was true or not, it wasn’t in your child’s best interests to start a pointless fight with your co-parent. In the life of your child there are likely to be many potential fights that you’re going to have to just bypass in order to maintain a cordial relationship with their dad.. Being right isn’t that important.

greenpenguinblue − YTA. I bet you will get off your high horse when he has to bail you out of whatever financial mess you put yourself in.. If you were confident in yourself, you wouldn’t have to tear him down and get all defensive. Also, I wouldn’t peg you for much of an innovative genius if you are going into the restaurant industry at this day in age 😂

These Reddit hot takes range from calling out the woman’s harsh words to questioning her ex’s motives. But do they capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the drama flames?

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This tale of a nepotism jab and a bruised ego shows how quickly pride can turn a conversation into a battlefield. The expectant mother’s dream of baking her way to success collided with her ex’s well-meaning but heavy-handed advice, leaving both nursing wounds. Co-parenting is tough enough without letting personal jabs derail the bigger picture—a child’s future. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Would you bite your tongue or fire back? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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