AITA for refusing to use the credit card my dad gave me anymore?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a cozy suburban home, tension simmers over a single credit card swipe. A young woman, juggling work-from-home life and tight finances, faces her father’s relentless teasing after using his card for an $80 medical bill. What starts as a practical choice spirals into a clash of pride and principle, leaving her questioning her decision to cut ties with his financial help.

Her frustration is palpable, echoing the quiet sting of family misunderstandings. Readers might feel her exasperation, wondering how a small debt could unravel into such a personal standoff. This tale of independence and defiance sets the stage for a deeper look at family dynamics and standing one’s ground.

‘AITA for refusing to use the credit card my dad gave me anymore?’

I (22F) have a cc under my dad's name. It's my name but owned by my dad, if that makes sense. I use it in emergencies like medical bills and etc. I went to the doctor recently and got a $80 bill, but my current debit card was less and I didn't have enough to afford for the rest of the month, so I used the cc my dad gave me.

That was once in a few months since I used it. My dad found out and confronted me. I said I didn't have enough money to cover the rest of the month and my job would pay me by the end of it so I can pay him back. He wasn't happy about my explanation but he accepted it.

Throughout 3 weeks, every time I get a parcel or a package that I ordered online (these things come slowly), he would say 'is this your emergency?' Laughs, and hand it to me. I didn't find it funny, but because I was WFH I would take it and go back to work.

It gets to the point where he wouldn't stop asking as it went from parcels and letters I receive to literally any food I make for myself or anything I buy for myself so I withdrew $80 as soon as I got paid and gave it to my dad. I said I'd rather handle my own medical bills.

I put the $80 cash and credit card in front of him. He said I was being a b*tch and he was only joking. I said jokes are meant to be funny and he isn't much of a comedian. He took it and said he can't say anything to me anymore or I'll get offended. I don't care.

I'll get my own credit. I think I'm the AH for stopping this. My mom said she'll help me cover costs for my medical bills, but I said I'd rather pay for some of it. She said that he's 'like that' but I don't care about his stupid s**tty attitude. I'm still angry about it. Aita.

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Edit: I give you timeline. Furniture was paid for with my debit card after saving up for 3 months with my own pay. I DIDN'T USE THE CC FOR THE FURNITURE, I USED MY DEBIT CARD **WITH MY OWN PAY**. I requested for it to be sent over the week I had the medical bill paid for by dad's cc because I had my room set up already.

To my dad, seeing the furniture be sent over now = I could have afforded the medical bill in the first place. We talked about it already, I told him what happened with my finances. He didn't apologize, he just said 'Noted.' And moved on.

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To the commentors who think I can just talk to him. This usually happens when we're not at each other's throats. Thanks for the comments and the validation and the weird ass comments from people who are on my dad's side. Must be nice being you. Alright bye.

Navigating family financial ties can feel like walking a tightrope. This young woman’s clash with her father highlights a classic struggle: balancing gratitude for help with the need for respect. Her father’s passive-aggressive remarks, masked as humor, turned a small gesture into a source of shame, pushing her to assert her independence.

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The conflict reflects differing perspectives. She saw the card as a safety net for emergencies; he viewed it as leverage for control, using “jokes” to express disapproval. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Criticism, even disguised as humor, can erode trust in relationships” (source: Gottman Institute). His insight suggests the father’s taunts, however lighthearted he intended, chipped away at their bond.

This situation taps into a broader issue: financial dependence within families often comes with emotional strings. A 2021 study by Pew Research found 59% of young adults in the U.S. receive parental financial support, yet many report strained relationships due to unspoken expectations (source: Pew Research Center). Her father’s reaction—escalating to insults when challenged—reveals how financial help can mask control dynamics.

Advice: Open communication is key. She could calmly explain how the “jokes” felt belittling, setting boundaries for future interactions. Exploring low-limit credit cards or budgeting apps like YNAB can also empower her financial independence, reducing reliance on family. If tensions persist, family counseling could help address underlying issues respectfully.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s hot takes are as spicy as expected—candid, supportive, and laced with humor. The community weighs in, calling out the father’s behavior as a power play wrapped in bad comedy.

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Apprehensive-You2885 − NTA. These are the kind of parents that in the futures ask why you don’t talk to them.

glom4ever − NTA Your dad taught you that when you have an emergency you can't really count on your dad. That isn't what he thought he was teaching, but that was the message received. The fact that your Mom's response was to step in and made excuses tells me that this is not new behavior.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Good that you gave it back and aren't dependent on him. He sounds like my dad, he jokes are only funny to him. These 'jokes' tend to become so over used that you start regretting as to why you even decided to use it and trust me these kinds of men get off of these kinds of remarks.

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unionmom4 − NTA. Those passive aggressive “jokes” are not funny, he’s using them to make a point and he didn’t like it when he got called out. Don’t use his card if he’s going to weaponize it’s use.

chubby-wench − NTA. You freed yourself from your dad’s harassment and now he’s bummed that he has nothing to gripe about. Good for you! You can probably get a low limit card through your bank, depending on what your credit score is.

[Reddit User] − NTA - He might be paying the bill, but it's not free for you. The price he puts on it is shame and that's not worth it.

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Saltythiazide − NTA. Parents that calls their child a b****? Major red flag 🚩🚩🚩

ThaiChili − NTA. Attitudes like your dad’s is exactly why when I moved out, I had a car, a job location transfer, and a place to stay set up way before I left and they were only told 2 weeks before I actually walked out the door. And they’ve been on an info diet ever since and it’s been over 20 years.

They also sometimes wonder why (to other people and never me, of course) they pretty much know nothing about my life. They also didn’t find out I was married until 8 years after the fact and I see them between 2-4 times a year.

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thejexorcist − NTA. That’s the consequence of his *joke*. My dad used to ‘joke’ about me moving out the day I turn 18, but was SHOCKED and hurt when I started making plans to move out.

blendedthoughts − You did the right thing. You had to get him off your back.

These opinions light up Reddit, but do they hold up in real life? The consensus leans toward empowerment, but family dynamics are rarely so black-and-white.

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This young woman’s stand against her father’s taunts is a bold step toward independence, but it leaves lingering questions about mending family ties. Her choice to return the card wasn’t just about $80—it was about dignity. What would you do if a loved one’s “jokes” crossed the line? Share your thoughts and experiences below—how do you handle family help that comes with strings?

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