AITA for refusing to entertain the idea of my guest bringing a guest on vacation?

Jonathan Hours
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The salty breeze of a dream beach vacation beckoned, a year-long plan for a couple to unwind in a lavish rental. With space to spare, they opened their doors to trusted friends, offering a free ride to paradise. But one guest’s curveball—wanting to bring a stranger she met online and split her time with him—soured the vibe. The couple’s firm “no” to the unknown guy staying over morphed into unease as their friend planned to use their home as a crash pad while gallivanting with him.

Now, the couple feels their generosity is being stretched thin, and tension simmers over boundaries and trust. Are they right to shut down this plus-one, or are they overreacting to a friend’s new fling? This tale dives into the clash of hospitality, friendship, and vacation expectations.

‘AITA for refusing to entertain the idea of my guest bringing a guest on vacation?’

A beach house haven turned into a battleground of boundaries when a guest’s request stirred the pot. Here’s the couple’s story, straight from Reddit:

My wife and I have had a pretty nice beach vacation planned out for about a year now. The house we rented is overkill for two people to say the least, so she got the idea of inviting a few people we trust to come down with us at no cost. She figured it’s going to cost us the same regardless, so it’d be cool if a few people who couldn’t normally spring for such a trip would be able enjoy it too.

One of our invited guests has met some dude online and wants him to come hang out, to which my wife and I instantly said no. Nothing personal, we don’t know him, she doesn’t know him, and this place was f**king expensive. He might be cool, but he might suck, and we don’t want to take the risk of allowing it.

The last thing we need is some random stranger doing something stupid and leaving us on the hook for it, or even worse, causing a bunch of trouble for everybody. So he’s not staying in my house, I’ve made that abundantly clear, but now the idea is he’ll drive down and stay somewhere else.

Our friend wants to stay with us still, but plans to come and go as they please to hang out with the random guy nobody knows. So basically we thought enough of someone to let them tag along free of charge on this awesome trip, but it kinda feels like we’re being taken advantage of now. Anyway, am I the a**hole here? The whole thing kinda rubbed me the wrong way, but maybe I’m off base.

A generous vacation invite turned sour when a friend’s priorities clashed with the hosts’ comfort. The couple’s offer was a gift, not a blank check, yet their friend’s plan to juggle their hospitality with a stranger’s company feels like a breach of trust. Her insistence, despite their clear boundaries, risks turning their retreat into a logistical headache.

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This reflects a broader issue: mismatched expectations in shared experiences. A 2023 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 61% of friendships face strain when hospitality boundaries are tested (Source). The couple’s caution about an unknown guest is prudent, given liability risks in a costly rental.

Psychologist Dr. Irene Levine advises, “Clear communication and mutual respect are key to maintaining friendships during shared plans” (Source). The couple could restate their boundaries firmly, suggesting the friend join fully or opt out. Disinviting her, while drastic, may protect their peace.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit didn’t mince words, backing the couple’s stance and slamming the friend’s audacity. From calls to uninvite her to warnings about sneaky guests, here’s the community’s take:

EarNo2652 − NTA. You're paying, your rules.

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BookLuvr7 − NTA. It's your vacation. You're not obligated to have ANYONE over other than yourselves. Does the one who invited him think you're a schmuck?

[Reddit User] − NTA. That friend is taking advantage of you and your wife inviting her along. Now she wants to turn it into her own romantic getaway with some rando that no one knows. It would make me uncomfortable as well. Explain to her that she is taking advantage of the kindness of you and your wife and disinvite her.

JohnnyinCentralTx − NTA and the smart thing to do is rescind the invitation immediately with an honest explanation that you are inviting people who want to spend time TOGETHER with you. You never meant the invitation to be taken as an opportunity to have a place to sleep while a guest hung out with another person or people.

WaywardPrincess1025 − NTA. You invited a friend and she’s trying to bring someone along. She can have her own vacation. I would tell her that you aren’t open to having him come hang out at the house but you’ll meet up at a restaurant to meet him. My guess is that her plan is to have him come and then last minute he’ll have some emergency and have to crash at your place.

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Mysterious_Bridge_61 − NTA. I would not let someone who is a stranger to me as well as a stranger to my guest come and have access to my house, my purse while I am in another room, my sleeping person, etc. It’s my accommodations for a vacation! Your friend is rude to 1) ask to invite him. 2) argue with you about it and act like you are being rude (instead of accepting the no)

3) tell you that the friend is coming and she will spend time with him and he will get a hotel. Chances are she will invite him over anyway.. I suggest you tell her: I’m so sorry that we have had this misunderstanding about the vacation. It’s obvious that we came into this with different expectations. At this point, you believe we are being unreasonable so I think it is best if you back out.

It is giving us anxiety for you to come stay with us while at the same time you are telling us that you think we are being unreasonable hosts because you wanted to invite someone else and now are planning to spend all your time with that person.

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I don’t see a solution where you can honestly tell us that you care about our comfort level about the accommodations and you are making NO attempts to assure us that you won’t put us in continued awkward positions with additional unknown expectations once we get there. Your style of vacation makes us nervous and we are not compatible.. I hope maybe some of that might be helpful to say?

[Reddit User] − NTA. Who still trusts random men now a days? Especially in what sounds to be a super nice beach house.

OrcEight − NTA. You generously invited this guest to hang out with you and enhance your experience. There is no reason for you to share your vacation home with someone who is more interested in their new boyfriend.. They should just get their own separate vacation and not mooch off of you.

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RaysUnderwater − NTA just uninvite them. “Look Josie, the idea of you coming along on our holiday isn’t working out. There obviously was a misunderstanding about what our offer was, and I feel that if we go ahead with what it has morphed into, then it will damage our friendship. So I’ve decided to cancel your invitation.”. Send it as a text.

Aggravating_Ad9046 − NTA. The friend was invited to join you not to use you as free accommodation. That’s incredibly self absorbed of her and she’s thoroughly taking you and your wife for granted

These Reddit opinions are sharp, but do they capture the full nuance of this vacation drama? Are the couple’s boundaries fair, or should they loosen up?

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This beach house saga exposes the tightrope of generosity and boundaries in friendships. The couple’s dream vacation risks becoming a stranger’s playground, and their firm stance has sparked a rift. Should they hold the line or find a compromise? If a friend pushed your hospitality like this, what would you do? Share your thoughts and let’s unpack this sunny-turned-stormy dilemma!

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