AITA for not wanting to throw out the dreamcatcher my aunt gave me?

Tucked in a teenager’s bedroom, a rainbow heart-shaped dreamcatcher sways gently, a vibrant reminder of a beloved aunt who lit up their world like a Christmas market’s glow. Gifted when the OP was seven, it’s one of the last tangible ties to their aunt, who passed away two years later. Now 18, the OP holds it dear, a beacon of love amidst the loss of her other belongings to medical debts.

But during a casual Zoom call, a friend’s sharp comment cut through the nostalgia, labeling the dreamcatcher cultural appropriation and urging its removal. The OP’s refusal sparked a heated debate, blending personal grief with questions of cultural respect. Torn between sentiment and sensitivity, they’re diving into Native American culture to learn more. This story weaves a tender tale of memory clashing with modern ethics, inviting us to ponder where personal treasures fit in today’s world.

‘AITA for not wanting to throw out the dreamcatcher my aunt gave me?’

Gonna try to make this as concise as I can. When i was 9, my aunt died. she was my favourite person in the whole world and i hers. she couldn't have kids as she was very ill her whole life and she really wanted a daughter so she would spend a lot of time with me.

when i was 7, we went to a christmas market fair type thing and she bought me a rainbow heart shaped dreamcatcher. i still have it now and im 18. i count this as the last time we spent together because after that she got seriously ill and we couldn't spend a lot of time together.

i have a few other things of hers but most of her stuff got sold to pay off her debts and medical bills when she died, so the few things i do have from her are very precious to me. in a zoom call with a friend she noticed this dreamcatcher and asked me about it, was it made by natives and called it cultural appropiation and told me to get rid of it.

i said no, it's a senitmental item to me and i'm not getting rid of it. i don't see how having it in my room hurts anyone and it would hurt me to get rid of it. but i have been trying to research more about dreamcatchers, and native americans in general.

i'm looking for charities to donate to and i am going to buy a proper dreamcatcher made by a native. i do believe in them and understand their purpose, i know it's not just for decoration and aesthetic. my friend isn't native so i'm not really sure if she has the absolute say on things like this but becuase i'm also not native american idk if i am the a**hole or not.

This poignant story highlights the delicate balance between personal attachment and cultural respect. The OP’s dreamcatcher, a gift from their late aunt, carries deep emotional weight, yet their friend’s accusation of appropriation raises valid concerns. A 2021 article by NPR notes that cultural appropriation often involves taking sacred items out of context, but personal keepsakes with sentimental value complicate this narrative.

The friend’s push to discard the dreamcatcher, despite not being Native American, reflects a broader trend of heightened cultural awareness. However, as Dr. Adrienne Keene, a Cherokee scholar, explains, “Not all use of cultural items is appropriation; intent and context matter” . The OP’s private use and commitment to learning about Native culture show respect, distinguishing their case from commercial exploitation.

This situation ties into larger discussions about cultural sensitivity in a globalized world. The OP’s plan to support Native artisans by purchasing an authentic dreamcatcher is a proactive step. They could further engage by donating to organizations like the Native American Rights Fund or learning from Native-led resources. By honoring their aunt’s memory while respecting cultural origins, the OP can bridge personal and ethical values.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit gang rolled up with a mix of heart and sass, like a virtual campfire chat defending the OP’s choice. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

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BowTrek − NTA. Your friend is trying to be ‘woke’ but doesn’t seem to understand the buzz words she’s using.. Keep your dreamcatcher. Smile and think of* happy times with your aunt when you see it. Happy dreams.

Mshike − NTA! I am native american, and I think you should keep it. You obviously have respect for the meaning of dreamcatchers, and you plan to support a native artist by buying one from a native. This specific dreamcatcher has a deeper meaning for you, I say keep it where it is and remember the good times with your aunt.

25blur − NTA, first and foremost because it’s very sentimental to you and obviously holds a lot of meaning, and I don’t think anyone would expect you to give that up. I have seen a bit on the cultural appropriation aspect of dreamcatchers,

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and I think it’s pretty valid that we probably shouldn’t be buying them from the wrong places. However, since you already own it there’s really nothing you can do about it. Just enjoy the dream catcher, and if you ever buy another one you will be able to make an educated choice on who you’re buying it from.

Throwawayskrskr − NTA. She is no native either so she isn't getting offendet by it or at least shouldn't be because it is not her culture. Don't understand how people who are not from this culture try to 'teach' you what is appropriate or not for a culture.

crella-ann − NTA. Don’t let her bully you into getting rid of it. I’d also say to hide it if she comes over. If she’s the aggressive woke type, she may throw it away ‘for you’.

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DocHoppersFrogsLegs − Your friend doesn’t represent Native American culture. Tell her to mind her business. NTA

Cleosmama − Native American here...and I absolutely do not give a s**t that you own a dreamcatcher. It sounds like you’re being culturally respectful and that’s what’s important

[Reddit User] − NTA enjoy your dreamcatcher and don't let woke people ruin everything. Not everything needs to be examined and ridiculed till it can't offend anyone.

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reximhotep − NTA she has 'white savior syndrome'. throwing out something that is one of the largest economic exports of the native souvenir industry is just arrogant and wrong. It means something to you and even if it didn't it is none of her business. How ridiculous.

toastedwish − NTA, I think it’s kind of cool that your aunt’s last gift to you has inspired you to learn more about the culture so you can appreciate it.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, cheering their respect for the dreamcatcher’s meaning while poking fun at the friend’s overzealous stance. But do these takes fully grapple with the nuances of cultural respect, or are they too quick to dismiss the friend’s point? This debate’s got everyone buzzing.

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This tale of a cherished dreamcatcher and a friend’s bold critique weaves together love, loss, and the quest for cultural respect. The OP’s refusal to part with their aunt’s gift isn’t defiance but a stand for personal meaning, paired with a willingness to learn. It’s a reminder that objects can hold deep value while still sparking tough questions about culture. How would you balance a treasured keepsake with calls for cultural sensitivity? Share your thoughts below!

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