AITA for sending a girl a video with all her “flaws” after she posted a public video making fun of strangers?

In a world where social media can amplify every snarky comment, one woman’s Instagram video crossed a line, zooming in on strangers with cruel captions to chase clout. Picture a bustling city street, where unsuspecting folks—a garbage man, an overweight passerby—become targets of a taunting tune, “Never Gonna Get It.” The OP, a casual acquaintance, watched this unfold with a sinking feeling, knowing those faces were broadcast without consent for a measly hundred likes.

Her plea to take the video down fell on deaf ears, met with a shrug and dreams of Insta-fame. Frustrated, the OP crafted a private comeback—a short video mirroring the same song but spotlighting the acquaintance’s own flaws, sent solely to her. It was a bold move to spark empathy, but was it too far? This tale of digital retribution begs the question: how do you fight cruelty without becoming cruel?

‘AITA for sending a girl a video with all her “flaws” after she posted a public video making fun of strangers?’

Context: This girl isn't a friend of mine, more like an acquaintance. I have her number though. Anyways, she posted a video to her public Instagram publicly shaming people. In the background was the song 'never gonna get it never gonna get it'.

So basically, she would zoom in on an overweight person in the street, then say 'never gonna get it: skinny' She would show someone with acne, 'never gonna get it: a boyfriend.' She zoomed in on the garbage man, 'never gonna get it: a real job.' You get the idea. I found this entire thing wrong to do and texted her asking her to remove it.

She said it was just a joke and that I shouldn't take it too seriously. I said she should at the very least make it private so she isn't showing strangers' faces on the internet, but she declined saying that people were finally viewing her stuff and she could get insta famous (it didn't get that many likes, only around 100, but that's more than she's ever gotten before).

I felt there was no reasoning with her so I put together a 10 second video to the same tune except with her face instead. 'Never gonna get it: an education since she's so busy on instagram' or 'Never gonna get it: friends since she is so judgy.'

I didn't post it online, just sent it to her asking 'how would you like it if you saw this online?' She flipped out and called me a h**ocrite and huge a**hole. I guess she's right that I'm a h**ocrite, but I'm not going to post it online & I just did it to show her how hurtful it is, AITA?

This story is a classic case of social media turning into a double-edged sword. As the OP tried to mirror the acquaintance’s cruelty to make a point, the line between justice and hypocrisy blurred. According to a 2021 study by the American Psychological Association, public shaming online often escalates conflicts rather than resolving them, as it thrives on emotional reactions over rational dialogue.

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The OP’s acquaintance justified her video as a “joke,” ignoring the harm of mocking strangers’ appearances or jobs. Her pursuit of likes over ethics reflects a broader issue: the chase for online validation. Dr. Pamela Rutledge, a media psychologist, notes, “Social media rewards attention-seeking behavior, often at the expense of empathy” (Media Psychology). Here, the acquaintance’s refusal to privatize the video shows how clout can trump compassion.

The OP’s private video, though sharp, aimed to teach rather than shame publicly. This restraint sets it apart, but mimicking the same judgmental style risks escalating the feud. The study above suggests that direct confrontation, like a candid conversation, might foster understanding better than tit-for-tat tactics. Still, the OP’s intent to protect strangers’ dignity is clear, even if their method stirred controversy.

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For solutions, Dr. Rutledge advises addressing online missteps privately first, focusing on impact over intent. The OP could follow up with a calm message, emphasizing the harm to strangers and offering to discuss further. Encouraging the acquaintance to reflect on her actions, perhaps by sharing resources like the APA’s guide on digital civility, could nudge her toward accountability without public humiliation.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of applause and witty jabs like a lively group chat at a virtual coffee shop. Here’s what they had to say:

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likecloudsinmycoffee − NTA - you gave her a taste of her own medicine. And unlike her, you didn't shamed her publicly.

ishouldgetgoing − NTA and surprised others think you’re(*)even a teeny bit a**hole-ish. None of the things you wrote about her(*)were demeaning or superficial. What you said in your clip was true as evidenced by her video. She took people’s photos which she probably did so with out permission, belittled them for their appearance and employment, and used no factual information to do this all.

You, from the few you’ve mentioned, posted sound assumptions that she’s concerned about getting likes versus being a decent human with good morals and her snap judgment probably hinders her ability to make and retain solid friendships.

Keep calling people out for their poor behavior. You didn’t post it online or share it with anyone. You sent it to her as she couldn’t see the impact of what she’d done until you showed her how moronic it was. And she probably still didn’t take it down because what bad things she’s done doesn’t compare to the same bad thing done to her. Privilege really is a disease.. (*) grammar/spelling edits

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Jesse0016 − NTA, garbage men make f**king bank

turtlegod_1000000000 − Nta! You didnt post it and you didnt show other people. All you did was do to her as she had done to others! Obviously she got mad! Now she knows what its like to be on the Receiving end! She shouldent dish it if she cant take it

TexMextaurant − NTA. If you had made fun of the way she looked or talked or something I would say you suck too. But you referenced things directly to your last conversation. The things you said weren’t even really making fun of her, especially in comparison to what she said about other people.

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[Reddit User] − I don't have a judgment to add since it seems pretty straightforward, but what's with all the hate Waste Management workers get? Do people not realize that those jobs often come with good pay, good benefits and a strong union to back them up?

[Reddit User] − NTA. Also.... She zoomed in on the garbage man, 'never gonna get it: a real job.' She's talking about people not getting boyfriends, and yet she's being one of those unfuckable s**tty people who dumps on service personnel? Ok...

helloitsmeks − NTA. You are a legend!!

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snarkingintheusa − NTA. Sometimes you need to serve people a dish of their own medicine 😂

shorthumanfemale − NTA. This is gold.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP’s private clapback, praising their restraint while chuckling at the irony of the acquaintance’s outrage. But do these spicy takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames of digital drama?

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This saga of Instagram shaming and private payback highlights the murky waters of social media ethics. The OP’s attempt to teach empathy walked a fine line, showing how easy it is to slip into the same behavior we condemn. Yet, their choice to keep it private speaks volumes about intent. Social media can amplify our worst impulses, but it also offers a chance to learn and grow. What would you do if you faced a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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