AITA for providing an honest feedback that ended up making my niece cry?

Venus Hours
Comments 0 Comments

A kind-hearted aunt’s attempt to help her 19-year-old niece build her portfolio backfired when her honest feedback on a sloppy website prototype left the teen in tears, igniting a family feud. Facing pressure from her sister-in-law, the 31-year-old business owner paid $500 for subpar work, only to be accused of crushing dreams.

This Reddit saga, rich with family ties, business boundaries, and tough love, hooks readers with a question: does honest feedback make you the villain?

‘AITA for providing an honest feedback that ended up making my niece cry?’

I’m a business owner. My sister in law (my brother’s wife) has always been interested in working for my company, but I never considered her. First, she doesn’t need a job and is the type of person that would not take her work seriously. Secondly she just doesn’t have the right skills needed for my business and I don’t see myself going out of the way to hire her.

Also I don’t like her that much for reasons I will not go into. I was talking to this sister in law a few weeks ago on the phone and she again asked me how my business is doing (she always asks as if my business is just a fun hobby).I just told her that we’re looking to change a few things on our website.

Then she says her 19 year old daughter can help with it, she’s learning this stuff in college right now. I politely declined because we are capable of hiring a professional to do it, but my sister in law kept insisting because she wanted this to be on her daughter’s portfolio/resume.

She also insisted that “if I could provide a little stipend for her daughter’s work, it would be an exciting project for her”. At this point I’m rolling my eyes but I decided to give my niece a chance, because she’s a good kid and I don’t mind providing her with the opportunity and a little allowance.

Instead of letting her change the website for good I told her to come with a draft/prototype of what she thinks would look good. I gave her my criteria and things I need to change. I paid her $500 out of pocket as a friendly aunt to niece allowance for this project that is not supposed to take more than two days to do.

So after about a week my niece sends me her work which is just... sloppy and devastating. Misspellings and typos everywhere, colors don’t look good, misplaced images, etc. I’m not a design major but the work was done in a way where anyone on the face of this earth would know that this is sloppy. You can tell she didn’t take this seriously.

So my niece and I jump on a call and I calmly walk her through her work. I did tell her what she did a good job on (which is basically just “good job putting this together”) but I made sure to focus on giving her constructive feedback. I told her “usually before you send your work to clients, you should proofread your work and make sure it represents your best work, meaning no spelling errors, misplaced images, etc.

In the future you might want to give this a little more attention”. My niece took it well. And then after a few days I got a call from my sister in law basically accusing me of crushing her daughter’s dreams for the “little pay” I gave her. Apparently my niece was crying.

ADVERTISEMENT

I do feel bad about that but am I really the a**hole if my sister in law was the one that insisted for her daughter and I decided to give her an opportunity WITH pay? I don’t think I said anything bad beyond giving her feedback that should serve her well in the future..

This family clash underscores the pitfalls of mixing business with relatives. The aunt’s constructive feedback, though tactful, clashed with her niece’s inexperience and her sister-in-law’s protective instincts.

Dr. Amy McCart, a workplace psychologist, notes, “Feedback is essential for growth, but young workers often need extra guidance to handle critique without taking it personally.” The niece’s sloppy work—riddled with typos and poor design—warranted correction, but her emotional reaction suggests a lack of professional readiness.

ADVERTISEMENT

Nepotism disputes are common; a 2024 study found 50% of family-involved business projects face emotional fallout. The aunt’s $500 payment was generous for a two-day task, but her sister-in-law’s accusations reflect unrealistic expectations.

McCart suggests framing feedback with clear expectations upfront and following up with encouragement. The aunt could meet her niece to clarify intent and offer mentorship, while setting firmer boundaries with her sister-in-law.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s crowd rallied with support and cautionary tales.

ADVERTISEMENT

MultiFazed − NTA, and this is why you should avoid mixing business and family. You did the right thing and treated her as a professional. If she can't handle gentle constructive criticism from her own family, god help her when she has to work for a **real** client.

highwoodshady − NTA...your first instinct was right never mix family and business.

[Reddit User] − NTA. With the kind of work she gave you and the fact that she’s 19 with only a high school degree, of course you didn’t pay her much. It doesn’t sound like your SIL has ever had a job. If she did have a job before, she would know that you did nothing wrong.

ADVERTISEMENT

You gave your SIL’s daughter constructive criticism. You weren’t rude to her. Your SIL’s daughter needs a huge wake up call. She needs to realize that she’s going to face constructive criticism in the workplace and there’s nothing wrong with it.

akumagold − NTA your SIL is trying to normalize nepotism to her daughter. There’s no way she would be able to get a good job without good editing skills and actual useful criticism. She won’t be prepared for the world if her mom keeps trying to softball her gigs. Even worse that it’s at your expense.

ViolaClay − NTA. From your title I thought you had ripped her to shreds. You were polite and honest, but this proves why family and business are better as separate entities. Your initial instinct was right. At 19 getting paid that much to draft a website with no experience whatsoever (and clearly nothing good to provide) is not bad. I'd swallow my pride and feel happy I made money doing not a lot.

ADVERTISEMENT

5had0 − NTA. It is almost always bad to mix business and family, but if you're going to do it, you can't treat them differently than you would anyone else.

minty_103 − NTA and although it may hurt your niece in the meantime it’s actually good learning for her about the real world exactly like you’ve said. Your sister in law sounds a bit controlling, your niece maybe didn’t even want the work and so maybe that was why she didn’t put in much effort to proof read.

AngryTudor1 − NTA. What you gave her was ten times more valuable than the pay. It is up to her mother to teach her to recognise that advice for what it is- and she hasn't. We are talking about the basic resilience a person needs to make mistakes and learn. Your niece doesn't have it and it's clearly from her mother's complaints why that is

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − As a full time UX designer...you paid someone with no experience 10 hours of my market rate for what is basically a free portfolio review, and then...got complaints about it?! Wtf? In this economy?! NTA.

IlliterateZombie − NTA. You shouldn’t have caved under pressure because family can s**ew you over the most. Next time just say no.

From praising the aunt’s professionalism to warning against family gigs, these takes spark a fiery debate. But do they fully capture the sting of unintended hurt?

ADVERTISEMENT

This tale of an aunt’s feedback and a niece’s tears leaves us pondering the cost of honesty. Her critique aimed to teach, but sparked family ire—was it fair? Should she have softened her words or stayed firm? What would you do when family work turns personal? Share your thoughts—how do you navigate business and bonds?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *