AITA for not giving a strangers child food while stuck on the subway?

Picture a crowded Manhattan subway, grinding to a halt in a dim tunnel, trapping passengers in a 30-minute limbo. Amid the restless sighs, a 5-year-old’s whines about hunger echo, and his mom turns to a stranger with a grocery bag, asking for a snack. When the stranger politely declines to open their crackers, the mom’s sarcasm and glares turn the air as tense as the stalled train.

This Reddit tale captures the awkward dance of public encounters, where personal boundaries clash with a parent’s plea. The shopper’s guilt over not helping a hungry kid invites readers to ponder: when does kindness trump personal comfort, and when is it okay to say no?

‘AITA for not giving a strangers child food while stuck on the subway?’

So, I live in Manhattan and occasionally make the trek to a popular (but cheap!) health food supermarket a little bit out of the way to get groceries for the month. Yesterday was one of those days. I was on the subway back to my apartment when the train stopped in the tunnel. The conductor got on the loudspeaker and said we were being held at a stop, we’d move again as soon as possible.

We ended up being stuck for thirty minutes, super annoying but oh well. Around the 10 minute mark a kid (maybe 5?) sitting across from me started squirming, complaining he was bored and hungry. The mom tried to quiet him down a bit but he really wasn’t having it. He started getting tantrum-y. So the lady all of a sudden turned to me, and asked if I had bought any granola bars or something and if I could give one to him.

Which, no I hadn’t, and I told her just as much. She then asked if I wouldn’t open up the box of crackers (visible from the top of the bag) and give some to her kid. Here’s the thing- at this point I don’t know how long we were gonna be stuck in the subway, and I really didn’t like the idea of opening food in there. So I just told her “No, sorry, I don’t want to open them here”. She said “wow you’re a nice lady, that’s for sure..”

She kept giving me dirty looks for the rest of the stop and kept doing so till she got off before me. I told my partner about this and she said that I’m not in the wrong, she’s glad I didn’t open our groceries on the subway. On the other hand, I’m starting to feel really bad about it, cause it was a hungry kid, and of course you want to give a hungry kid food. I don’t know what to think. AITA?. Thanks all for your opinion!

Subway standoffs can test anyone’s patience, and this shopper’s refusal to share groceries with a stranger’s child sparked a mini-drama. The mom’s request for crackers wasn’t outrageous, but her entitled reaction to a polite “no” escalated things. The shopper, wary of opening food in a cramped train, prioritized their own comfort and groceries during an unpredictable delay.

Psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne notes, “Setting boundaries in public spaces preserves personal agency, especially under stress” (Psychology Today). The shopper’s decision was reasonable—30 minutes isn’t an emergency, and the child wasn’t starving. The mom’s failure to pack snacks reflects a lack of preparedness, not the shopper’s responsibility.

ADVERTISEMENT

A 2023 study found 68% of urban commuters feel pressured to accommodate strangers’ requests in confined spaces (Urban Institute). The shopper could’ve diffused tension by calmly explaining their discomfort with opening food, but the mom’s glares shut down goodwill. Next time, a neutral “I’d rather keep this sealed” maintains boundaries while avoiding conflict, fostering mutual respect in tight quarters.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit hopped aboard this subway saga like it was rush hour, dishing out spicy takes with a side of sass. Here’s the raw buzz from the crowd, buzzing with wit and judgment:

ADVERTISEMENT

sureasyoureborn − NTA, I can’t imagine ever asking a stranger to feed my kid and getting pissed that they didn’t. That’s some weird entitlement she has.

Meretneith − NTA, I feel like the bare minimum you can do if you are a parent travelling with a child is carry some water and crackers for emergencies. It had also only been 10 minutes. If you had sat there for hours I could understand asking you for help and pooling resources but a 5 year old kid can survive not eating for a while.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA - she’s a mother, travelling with her kid. Why doesn’t she have crackers with her? Not your kid, shouldn’t be your problem. Also, she’s TA for insulting you.

throwawaywhiskeygirl − NTA. When children are bored they often complain they are 'hungry' so odds are the child wasn't truthfully needing nourishment Either way, it was only a half hour. If we were talking about an hour or more my judgement may have been different but based on this incident the only AH is the mom making you feel guilty. It's her job to carry snacks for her own kid

Wikidess − NTA She kept giving me dirty looks for the rest of the stop and kept doing so till she got off before me. This is where I would have been an a**hole. I would have opened the box and started eating the crackers, while maintaining eye contact.. Lol not really, but I'd *really* want to.

princessbunny21 − NTA. As nice as it would have been if you did, you have no obligation to feed someone else's child. And you have to obligation to risk ruining your food via contamination (though honestly I eat on the subway all the time but I also have zero regard for my own well being so there's that) if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

ADVERTISEMENT

JVIuRRaY − NTA, in my opinion. If you’d been trapped for hours, and there was a starving child then maybe you’d have happily handed over food? But personally I think it’s pretty rude that someone looked in your bag and openly asked for things for their child. It makes it worse that when you declined to hand out your food, she was super unreasonable and was glaring at you after the fact.

[Reddit User] − NTA - That lady is just an entitled a**hole. It was a short delay and the kid wasn't gonna starve to death in that period. I think she just wanted a quick fix to shut her kid up instead of disciplining him.

Tomato_Tomat0 − NTA. It’s not your responsibility to feed someone else’s kid. Especially not when they get peckish on the subway and mom forgot to pack a snack.

ADVERTISEMENT

It might be something else if the kid was starving, and you were stuck there for an extended period of time. But that wasn’t the situation. The woman wasn’t necessarily the a**hole for asking (though it is kind of a peculiar thing to do), but her response to your no was definitely assholeish.

HereFishyFishy4444 − NTA You weren't in there for 5 hours. Not wanting to open your food for a 30 mn delay is totally fine.

Redditors rallied behind the shopper, slamming the mom’s entitlement and unpreparedness, though some mused they’d share in a longer delay. The debate rolls on: was the shopper selfish, or was the mom out of line? This tunnel tussle has Reddit buzzing like a packed train car.

ADVERTISEMENT

This subway skirmish shows how quickly a simple request can derail into judgment. The shopper’s choice to keep their groceries sealed was fair, but the mom’s reaction turned a minor moment into a guilt trip. Packing snacks could’ve kept the peace for all. Have you ever faced a stranger’s bold ask in public? What would you do in this shopper’s shoes?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *