AITA for using some of my kids’ Christmas money for Christmas dinner?

Picture a frosty Christmas Eve, the scent of pine and cinnamon in the air, but the warmth of the season is soured by a family feud. A father, strapped for cash after a tough year, makes a bold move to save the holiday, only to ignite a firestorm at home. His decision to dip into his kids’ Christmas gift money for a lavish dinner has left his teens fuming and the festive spirit in tatters. Can a desperate act for family unity backfire so spectacularly? This Reddit tale dives into the messy heart of good intentions gone wrong, leaving readers to wonder: was it a holiday heist or a selfless sacrifice?

The story unfolds in a household where financial strain collides with holiday expectations. The father’s choice has sparked a debate about trust, entitlement, and the true cost of a family celebration. Readers can’t help but feel the sting of the kids’ betrayal and the dad’s quiet desperation, setting the stage for a story that’s as thought-provoking as it is divisive.

‘AITA for using some of my kids’ Christmas money for Christmas dinner?’

I (42M) was hoping this issue would blow over, but my kids (15F and 12M) are still refusing to speak to me, and my daughter suggested I post about it here. My wife (41F) comes from a lot of money, and her family really hates me because I’m not rich like them, but my wife doesn’t care and loves me anyway.

Every Christmas they’ll send her and my kids extravagant gifts, while I get a pair of socks from Wal-Mart, but its whatever. I lost my job due to the pandemic (my wife is a SAHM) and was really worried we wouldn’t be able to have Christmas this year.

Next thing I know, my kids are sent Christmas cards with $250 cash in each. This is way more money than either of them needs, so I took $100 from each of them and used it to buy a nice Christmas dinner. My kids tutted and complained the whole meal.

And they didn’t even seem interested in opening the gifts my wife and I got for them. We told them to stop being ungrateful, and my daughter jumped up and yelled that she didn’t want to eat dinner with us, and my son followed her upstairs.

My wife and I believe what we did was justified, but because my daughter suggested I post it here, I thought why not. Do you guys think I was an a**hole in this situation? For further clarity, I have never done anything like this, and definitely would not have done if I had a job. AITA?

This family’s holiday drama cuts deeper than a burnt Christmas roast. The father’s decision to take his kids’ gift money without consent has stirred a classic clash of trust versus necessity. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, which I call ‘sliding door’ moments” (source: The Gottman Institute). Here, the dad’s choice to bypass discussion with his teens slammed that door shut, eroding trust at a critical moment.

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The father’s perspective is understandable—job loss and financial strain can push anyone to desperate measures. Yet, the kids, aged 15 and 12, are old enough to value autonomy over their gifts. Taking their money without a family huddle feels like a power grab, not a shared sacrifice. The $200 dinner, likely a bid to preserve normalcy, instead screamed extravagance to kids who felt robbed. This highlights a broader issue: financial stress often fractures family communication. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that 65% of parents report money-related stress impacting family dynamics (source: APA).

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes open dialogue: “Turn toward each other, not away.” The father could have sat his kids down, explained the situation, and asked for their input. This might’ve turned a tough moment into a bonding one. Moving forward, he should apologize, repay the $200, and hold a family meeting to rebuild trust. Financial transparency, even with teens, can foster unity. For families in similar binds, experts suggest budget-friendly holiday plans—like a potluck or homemade gifts—to keep the spirit alive without breaking the bank.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s verdict? A resounding “YTA” (You’re The Asshole) with a side of spicy commentary. Here’s what the internet had to say, served with a dash of humor: buckle up for some brutally honest takes!

[Reddit User] − YTA You didn't even use the money for bills and s**t, you just took money from them to buy a Christmas dinner. You are absolutely NOT justified in stealing from your children, and they're not ungrateful for not appreciating being stolen from.

Glittering_Joke3438 − WTF did you make that required $200? And you stole from your kids. YTA.

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CakeisaDie − YTA. If you were in financially poor circumstances I wouldn't be buying a 200 dollar Christmas Dinner.. This is way more money than either of them needs

When that happens you take the money and put it in a bank account that the kids don't have access to but make it clear that it is THEIR MONEY and give it to them upon college or upon house downpayment.

[Reddit User] − YTA. You didn’t need $200 for Christmas dinner, you wanted it. You can make a great dinner for $30. You took money from children without asking them. It wasn’t yours to take and you owe them a huge apology.

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nom-d-pixel − YTA. You could have done a small dinner with ham or turkey instead of whatever the heck you spent $200 on. You could have asked the kids if they would be willing to pitch in. Your wife could have asked her parents for money. You could have cut back on gifts to save money for Christmas. Your wife could have gotten a job..... There are so many options, but you jumped to stealing from your children.

HorseWithNoNames − YTA you stole your kids money/Christmas present

Zombinabelle − YTA for just unilaterally deciding and taking it. At their ages, they are old enough for rational discussion. I think had you had a family meeting to explain things are difficult due to the year, the outcome would have been significantly different. Also, $200 is a LOT for 4 people unless you're doing catering or something. If it was order in, that amount would have gone a lot further in a grocery store.

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SpiffyMcJiggins − YTA $200 for a single meal? That's a bit much, given that you're experiencing financial hardship. I really hope that money wasn't used for alcohol (which they cannot have), and that they at least had a say in what was eaten...

[Reddit User] − YTA I understand that times are tough, but I feel like you know the answer to this. You even state, ' For further clarity, I have never done anything like this, and definitely would not have done if I had a job '. That tells me you know what you did was wrong and the kids have every right to be upset with it.

edengonedark − YTA. That was not your money to spend and you are not entitled to any gift at all from your in-laws, let alone money or something extravagant. You should be happy they spoil your kids equally. For further clarity, I have never done anything like this,

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and definitely would not have done if I had a job. Never do something like this again. Give them their money back. You're punishing them for something they have no control over. It sucks you lost your job, but you literally stole their money. Don't set such a s**tty example.

These Reddit hot takes are bold, but do they cut to the core of the issue, or are they just festive shade-throwing?

This Christmas caper leaves us pondering the balance between family needs and personal boundaries. The dad’s heart might’ve been in the right place, but his execution was a holiday misstep that left his kids feeling more Scrooged than merry. Trust, once cracked, takes time to mend, but an apology and open conversation could be the gift that keeps on giving. What would you do if you were in this dad’s shoes—borrow the cash or find another way to save Christmas? Share your thoughts below!

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