AITA for kicking out my fiance and by extension his family for the night?

A wedding week turned into a fiery showdown when a 23-year-old bride discovered her fiancé’s betrayal. Days before their big day, he secretly told her 15-year-old gay brother to exclude his boyfriend from the wedding to appease his parents’ discomfort. Her rage erupted, sending her fiancé and his family packing to a hotel.

This Reddit saga, set against the backdrop of family tensions and wedding plans, grips readers with a question: can love survive when loyalty is tested?

‘AITA for kicking out my fiance and by extension his family for the night?’

Me (23F) and my fiance (25M) have been together for 2 yrs now and we got engaged last year. He's met my parents and my younger brothers and I've met his , but our families hadn't met each other until recently. Our wedding is a week away next Saturday and his family came down to stay with mine Monday to help set up things and to have everyone already in the same place.

Apparently my fiance hadn't told his parents that my baby brother (15M) is gay and they were shocked when his boyfriend came over with him after school when they got here. I could tell they were a bit uncomfortable but they didn't say or do anything so I let it go.

My brother's boyfriend was over again today and went to say hi he just. gave me this angry look and walked off. I asked my brother what that was about and he looked confused and said I should already know why. I was even more confused at this point and asked him what he meant

and he finally told me that yesterday my fiance told him that we didn't want him to bring his bf to our wedding anymore because it would upset his parents. I got red hot and went to confront my fiance outside and I started screaming and cursing him out about how he went behind my back

and told my brother that b**lshit and I told him he had to sleep somewhere else tonight. Him and his family got a hotel tonight. He called and texted apologizing and saying I'm overreacting.His parents called us and said I was being rude and disrespectful to him and his family. AITA here?

This wedding drama lays bare the clash between loyalty and prejudice. The fiancé’s secret ban on the brother’s boyfriend, driven by his parents’ homophobia, betrayed his partner’s trust and her family’s dignity. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in small moments of honesty and respect.” The fiancé’s deception, prioritizing his parents’ biases, shattered that trust, while the bride’s reaction defended her brother’s inclusion.

ADVERTISEMENT

Homophobia remains a societal challenge; a 2024 study found 30% of Australians still hold negative views toward same-sex relationships. The fiancé’s parents’ discomfort reflects this, but his choice to act behind his bride’s back deepened the rift. Gottman’s advice on open communication suggests the couple needs a candid talk about values.

The bride could set firm boundaries, insisting on inclusivity, while couples’ therapy might clarify their future.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s hot takes came in like a storm, packed with support and spicy warnings.

rapt2right - NTA He's supporting his parents' bigotry and pretending that you somehow should have known that he went behind your back and told your brother that his bf isn't welcome? Because his parents are too narrow & too fragile to maintain civility towards a pair of teenagers?. And now. He called and texted apologizing and saying I'm overreacting

ADVERTISEMENT

Uhm...no. You're not overreacting & claiming you are kinda negates the apology- he obviously doesn't understand the problem or, worse, *understands it perfectly* and simply doesn't care .. (Besides your reaction being merited, I think your brother deserved to SEE you stand up for him)

Blendinnotblandin - NTA - Honestly? This would be a call-off-the-wedding dealbreaker for me.

slb609 - Why are you marrying someone who you barely know? I mean, NTA  homophobia sucks balls, but f**k me - two years, don’t know anything about his family or his family anything about you? I’m just … I’m aware I’m victim blaming here - you’ve done nothing wrong other than trust that these people are decent humans. They’re not. Cut bait

BreastAficionado - NTA for kicking homophobes out. That's what you're meant to do.. Might want to think long and hard if you want to join a family of them though.

ADVERTISEMENT

Laniekea - NTA serious overreach. And *you're* being disrespectful of *his* family??? ROFL

AbbyBirb - NTA. But seriously take some time to think about a few things here... Your fiancé: soon to be your partner for life; went behind your back & told a lie to your family member (*we* implying you said this with him) and says you’re overreacting for sticking up for your family.

His family: soon to be your family for life; do not accept your family for who they are and thinks that you are the rude & disrespectful one here to them.. ____. Think about what marriage is: the legal joining of families for life.. And then think about how this is going to be in the future.. - What else will your husband be so easily willing to lie about?

ADVERTISEMENT

- Are you going to have to go no or low contact with your family to please him & his?. - How are holidays or birthdays or major life events going to be like? - Are you going to be able to choose over and over between your brother and your husband... your family and his family?. ____. Good Luck OP. ((((hugs))))

Kooky-Kitten - NTA your fiance is the one in the wrong here and his parents are h**ophobic and dont deserve to be at the wedding with that kind of attitude 😤

tidak-apa-apa - NTA he lied, ask yourself what was he expecting to happen? That your brother would act happy and wouldn't say anything to you? That you wouldn't notice or find out until it was too late, and would just go along with his lies after you did?

ADVERTISEMENT

notimefordumbfu_ks - NTA. and i'll think long and hard before tying the knot with this h**ophobic family. and that includes your fiance because if he was an ally(which i doubt) he wouldn't have gone behind your back nor supported his parents bigotry

kriss1892 - NTA.. how would your fiancé react if he found out you told his parents on your own that they shouldn’t come to the wedding because their views make you and your family uncomfortable? Sucky situation but good for you for sticking up for your bro!

I’d have a serious talk with the fiancé though- like he should have your back, not do things BEHIND your back and then say you are being rude and disrespectful - in fact, you are the one who was disrespected!

ADVERTISEMENT

From cheering the bride’s stand to urging her to rethink the marriage, these opinions ignite debate. But do they capture the full weight of love and loyalty?

This tale of a bride’s fierce defense and a fiancé’s betrayal leaves us questioning love’s limits. Her stand for her brother was bold, but can the couple mend this fracture? Should she walk down the aisle with doubts lingering? What would you do if your partner sided with prejudice over family? Share your thoughts—how do you navigate love amidst clashing values?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *