AITA for choosing my pregnant wife over my mom?
Announcing a pregnancy should be a moment of joy, but for one couple, it turned into a tug-of-war with a controlling mother. After years of enduring his mom’s disapproval—from their engagement to their move out of state—this nearly 30-year-old man chose to prioritize his pregnant wife’s comfort, sharing the baby news with his parents via FaceTime without her present. His mom’s hurt feelings and accusations of being steamrolled have left him questioning his choice.
Reddit’s buzzing with opinions on this family face-off, debating loyalty, boundaries, and a mother’s need for control. Was he right to put his wife first, or should he have considered his mom’s feelings more? As the tension grows like a storm cloud over a family call, let’s dive into this tale of love, loyalty, and cutting the apron strings that’s got everyone talking.
‘AITA for choosing my pregnant wife over my mom?’
When a mother’s control clashes with a couple’s new chapter, emotions run high. Here’s the original Reddit post that’s got the family chat on edge:
Choosing his pregnant wife’s comfort over his mother’s expectations was a defining moment for this man, but it unleashed a wave of familial tension. His mom’s history of undermining their milestones—engagement, home purchase, relocation—set the stage for her hurt over a FaceTime pregnancy announcement. Her claim that her “needs” match his wife’s dismisses the couple’s autonomy, revealing a struggle to let go of her central role.
This scenario reflects the challenge of redefining family roles. A 2023 Journal of Marriage and Family study found 50% of young couples face parental overreach when starting families, often straining relationships (Source). Family therapist Dr. John Gottman advises, “Adult children must prioritize their spouse and children; clear boundaries with parents preserve harmony” (Source). Gottman’s insight supports the man’s choice, as his wife’s emotional and physical well-being during pregnancy takes precedence.
The man could calmly reinforce boundaries with his mom, explaining that his wife’s needs come first without dismissing her feelings. Low contact might help if she persists.
Heres what people had to say to OP:
Reddit’s dishing out cheers and advice for this man’s stand, with users slicing through his mom’s controlling tactics. Here’s what they had to say:
![[Reddit User] − NTA. Your mom is very controlling and entitled. Are you of Asian origin? It sounds like both of your parents are narcissistic, and it’s very common throughout Asian cultural upbringing. It’s time to keep firm boundaries with your parents. If this continues, going LC or NC may be the best option.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/242579cmt-15.png)
These are the sharp takes from Reddit, but do they cut to the heart of this family drama, or is there more to unravel?
This man’s decision to prioritize his pregnant wife over his mom’s demands was a bold move in a lifelong battle for autonomy. His mother’s hurt feelings stem from losing control, but her needs don’t outweigh his wife’s well-being. A firm boundary and honest talk might ease the strain, but only if she respects their new family. Have you ever had to choose between a spouse and a parent? What would you do in his shoes?
