AITA For not punishing my son for opening limited edition doctor who sets?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a 14-year-old’s room, a shrine to Doctor Who, where TARDIS models and Dalek figures spark joy. For an autistic teen, these aren’t just toys—they’re a passion. But when his dad gifts pricey limited-edition collectibles, meant to stay boxed, the boy’s urge to play sets off a family clash. His mom, caught between her son’s happiness and her ex’s rules, green-lights the unboxing, only to face demands to punish him.

This Reddit tale dives into a whirlwind of autism, gift-giving, and parental loyalty. The mom’s stand—letting her son enjoy his gift—has Reddit cheering, but her ex’s fury raises questions. Was she wrong to skip punishment, or is the dad missing the point? Let’s jump into this Doctor Who drama that’s got everyone buzzing.

‘AITA For not punishing my son for opening limited edition doctor who sets?’

My son, B, fourteen, is autistic. His special interest is doctor who, he's been obsessed with the show since he was about three. Naturally his room is dw themed, and he has several doctor who toys. My husband and I (B's stepdad) happily indulge in his interest.

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B doesn't really understand the whole concept of figurines, and plays with them as one would with toys. We make sure to buy him good quality figures that won't cost us a fortune, because he'll probably destroy the packaging and lose their props.

B's father recently got back into his life and is also a fan of Doctor Who. As such he was pretty excited to buy him things for Christmas. We explained that he should buy anything that can't be used as a toy - so no collectors items or anything that would have to stay in packaging. He said he understood.

Come Christmas, he bought our son two limited edition collectors figure sets (which definitely cost a bit). My husband and I were a little apprehensive, but we didn't say anything. It was explained that they weren't toys and had to stay in their packaging.

Our son didn't really pay attention to them, but occasionally I caught him staring and shaking the boxes about. A week ago he asked me if he could get them out just once, promising he'd put them straight back. I explained that they were expensive and shouldn't really be played with, but they were his so he could do what he wanted with them.

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He got them out and true to his word he kept the packaging nice and puts them back whenever he's finished playing. Obviously my ex wound up finding out and blew up at me over it, saying I shouldn't of let him open them because they weren't toys. I explained they were his and he could do what he liked with them.

He's insisting I punish our son for not following the rules, saying if he'd of known B wouldn't of looked after them he'd of kept them for himself, which is rich considering we told him B would probably take them out of their packaging. My husband thinks we're in the right, but family members think we should do something because our son did get clear instructions not to open the boxes.. AITA?

This collectible clash is a masterclass in balancing a child’s needs with adult expectations. The OP’s son, autistic and deeply invested in Doctor Who, sees toys, not untouchable relics, in his gifted sets. The OP’s decision to let him play—carefully, as promised—prioritizes his joy and autonomy. Dr. Tony Attwood, an autism expert, notes, “Special interests are vital for autistic individuals, fostering engagement and emotional regulation” (Autism Speaks). Punishing the boy for enjoying his gift would undermine this.

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The ex’s demand for punishment ignores the OP’s clear warning against collectibles. His focus on the sets’ value over his son’s happiness feels misguided, especially since the boy preserved the packaging. Studies show 70% of parents of autistic kids prioritize their child’s comfort over external rules (Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders). The OP’s ex was told the boy would likely unbox the figures, making his outrage seem more about control than care.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating gifts for neurodivergent kids. Dr. Attwood suggests clear communication about gift expectations, which the OP provided. The ex’s failure to listen set the stage for conflict. The OP could reinforce boundaries with her ex, calmly reiterating her son’s needs. For now, she’s right—no punishment is warranted when the boy followed his heart and her guidance.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit warped in like a TARDIS, delivering a sonic blast of support and shade for this collectible conundrum. It’s like a Whovian convention where everyone’s got a theory. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

ifsnakescouldspeak − NTA. You literally let Bs dad know what would happen and he still went with it anyway. Also once you give someone a gift it's their business how they use it as long as they're not harming someone with it. Like your son seems to be playing with it carefully so there's not really a problem.

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socialissuecatlady − NTA: you told him explicitly not to buy “collectors items” for this very reason. ETA - your Ex didn’t follow your instructions first. You tried your best to honor his wishes and explain to your child that these aren’t meant to be toys but at the end of the day, your Ex had every opportunity to buy actual toys as you instructed that would have been more appropriate for your child

cyncount − NTA one the gift was given to him it became his property. If he wants to play with them then who are they to interfere? You warned them and they choose to ignore the warning so it's really not your problem. I'm glad your son is having so much joy with them (also Doctor Who is amazing)

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Frivolous-Sal − Ughhhh. This is torture to a kid!!! For as long as I can remember, my grandmother enjoyed giving us those Holiday Barbies every year. And I hated not being able to take them out of the box! They just had to sit on a shelf, collecting dust in my room.

Here’s the thing... I wasn’t even interested in the Barbies. For me, it was all about those tiny, plastic shoes. And the satisfying bounce-back they provided when you chewed on them. So one day, I was staring at the Barbies. I decided that it wouldn’t hurt just to carefully open one and try the shoe.

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So I Ocean’s Elevened my own property, took the shoe out and chewed it for awhile. And then I put it back. But once you’ve tasted blood... Over the weeks, I was chasing that high. I went through all of my “playable” Barbie shoes. And finally, like a degenerate meth head, I ended up going on a full Holiday Barbie shoe binge.

Six years of work collecting them..some I couldn’t even remember receiving because I was only two when I got it. Gone. And then I felt terrible and riddled with guilt for months. Like...to the point of it affecting my school grades. It was a dark secret I harbored for an indeterminate amount of time.

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To this day, I still have the Barbies (well, my parents do), still perfectly intact, box taped, with only the shoes missing. My friend, Marc, made the perfect s**pegoat, as he had already moved away by the time my mom noticed. I acted just as surprised as she was.. NTA. Let the children play.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I'm a Dr. Who fan and been a collector. These are meant to enjoy. Let him enjoy them. If your ex wanted an investment, he should have given him stocks or bonds..

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And while unopened is best, like new in box is a very close 2nd if they become rare. But in reality most of these things don't become rare and aren't going to be worth a lot of money down the road.. A lot of collectors things are valuable if they keep their original value.

LEGOPASTA2 − NTA - lol this cant be real.... So your ex is father to an autistic child that brings its own set of challenges. You explain that he should only buy toys he can physically play with, he agrees, then ignores that, spends a ton of collectors edition toys. When your son plays with it he then wants you to punish him even though he played with it in a very respectful manner.... I see why he is your ex.

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Millerbomb − NTA- Collectables figures are toys, its what you choose to do with them that makes them collectable. I'm not really sure why the ex would buy a figurine for a child and expect them not to open it, the kid wants to play not diversify investments. My son would have had it opened on day 1 with my consent.

[Reddit User] − What was even the point of your ex buying them if your son couldn’t even play with them? That’s utterly ridiculous. What’s he going to do with two collectibles that have to stay in the box?

Absolutely do not punish your son. He hasn’t done anything wrong. NTA Edit: I like how your ex couldn’t follow simple instructions about what not to buy but now wants his autistic son punished for not following absurd instructions.

Disastrous_Ask_5664 − NTA - they’re toys. I get a lot of people like collecting them and they’re marketed as such (and overpriced accordingly) but ultimately they are toys to be played with. And if they bought your son joy then - good! Your ex also bought them as gifts. Once a gift is given his say over anything that happens is done

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bendingspoonss − NTA at all. You gave his father a warning that he shouldn't purchase things that couldn't be used as toys, and he literally bought toys from your son's favorite TV show. As you said, they're his toys and he can do what he wants with them, especially since he asked your permission first. Good on him for getting some nice gifts to enjoy! :)

Redditors rallied behind the OP, praising her for honoring her son’s passion and slamming the ex for ignoring warnings. Some shared heartfelt tales of their own “forbidden” toy moments. But do these takes solve the puzzle, or just spin the sonic screwdriver?

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This tale of unboxed Doctor Who sets and a mom’s loyalty leaves us pondering autism, gifts, and family rules. The OP’s stand for her son’s joy sparked a Reddit regeneration, and now it’s your turn to weigh in. Was she right to skip punishment, or should she have enforced the “no-opening” rule? What would you do with a gift that clashed with a child’s needs? Share your thoughts—let’s keep this conversation traveling through time.

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