AITA for not wanting to invite my 9 year old nephew to my wedding?

Step into a bride’s world, where wedding plans unravel amid family drama. A woman, crafting her dream day, bans her 9-year-old nephew from the ceremony after he deliberately slashed her self-designed wedding dress. His chronic misbehavior—loud, uncontrollable, and unaddressed by his mother—threatens her carefully planned event.

When her sister threatens to skip the wedding and blasts her on social media, accusing her of hating the boy, the family splits. Reddit’s buzzing with takes on whether her boundary was fair or a harsh rejection of kin.

‘AITA for not wanting to invite my 9 year old nephew to my wedding?’

My fiance and I both had a discuss and both agreed that we don't want my nephew at our wedding which will be happening in 2 month. The reason why is because my nephew is out of control, he doesn't listen, can't sit still for even a minute and is loud.

ADVERTISEMENT

My nephew even ruined my dress, I am a fashion designer and made my own wedding dress and one day my sister came over uninvited with my nephew and niece. I invited them both in but told them all to not go in my office as I'm working on something in there (which was my dress) my nephew goes in there

and cuts my dress with a pair of my fabric scissors on purpose while I was in the kitchen getting them some snacks and my niece was playing with my daughter. My sister didn't even make him apologize and blamed it on me for leaving my scissor in the open in a room he wasn't even supposed to be in.

There been many times where my nephew been ban from events because of his behaviour, my sister has a hard time even getting babysitters for him and my nephew even gotten suspended from school on multiple occasions, she still haven't done anything about his behaviour.

When I told my sister she freaked out saying that if her son's not allowed to go then she won't be going and asked me if I was banning our brother's son as well, she made a Facebook post about how I hate my nephew and I'm not inviting him to my wedding over a dress and complained to our mom. My mom agrees with my sister and says that it's unfair for me to invite my niece

ADVERTISEMENT

but not my nephew and that I'm gonna make my nephew feel like there is something worng with him. My brother agree with me and thinks it will make my sister think about actually doing something about her sons behavior rather then pretending like there is nothing worng. I know how my nephew is and I don't want his behaviour to risk a day I worked so hard in planning.. Aita here?

Weddings amplify family tensions, and this bride’s decision to exclude her 9-year-old nephew highlights a clash of boundaries and responsibility. The boy’s severe behavioral issues—cutting her wedding dress, school suspensions, and event bans—point to deeper challenges, yet his mother’s denial and lack of discipline exacerbate the problem. The bride’s choice protects her once-in-a-lifetime day, but her sister’s public outburst and family pressure reveal a failure to address the root issue: the nephew’s unmet needs.

A 2024 Journal of Child Psychology study notes 15% of children with behavioral disorders, like ODD or ADHD, face social exclusion without intervention. Child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene advises, “Disruptive behavior signals unmet needs; parents must seek help, not excuses.” The sister’s refusal to act, blaming the bride instead, shifts responsibility unfairly. The bride’s boundary is reasonable, though a private talk might have softened the delivery.

ADVERTISEMENT

Experts suggest families hold interventions to urge treatment, like therapy or behavioral plans, for struggling kids. The bride could offer support, like connecting her sister to resources, while holding firm on her wedding rules. For others, setting clear event expectations—like adult supervision—can prevent chaos. The sister’s neglect, not the bride’s ban, is the real issue.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit dished out fiery support and practical advice for this embattled bride. Here’s what they served up:

ADVERTISEMENT

9okm − NTA. I think you should accept your sister's offer to not attend.

comment-a − NTA. And given that your sister covered for your nephew, who is waaaaaay to old to 'accidentally' use scissors on other people's stuff, then having her boycott in protest is fitting. She can make her choice raise an undisciplined child or not, but you (hopefully) only get one wedding and you don't need a wild kid messing it up nor do you need this drama.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. Generally, this type of thing would make you TA but this is obviously a unique situation. This child has serious behavioral problems and needs immediate and comprehensive intervention. Without the proper support and treatment, his whole life is going to be so challenging.

This would be my hill to die on, personally. This isn’t just about your wedding day, this is about your nephew’s health and well-being. Your sister is being neglectful by willfully ignoring the severity of the situation. She’s his mother, she knows. She just doesn’t want to admit it. It’s selfish.

ADVERTISEMENT

FargoDiva − There IS something wrong with your nephew, it’s your sisters job to figure out what it is and deal with it. NTA, stick to your guns

saltmenow − NTA. Your sister, from your post, seemingly refuses to accept that her son misbehaves (really) badly. Maaaybe... you can say to her that if she's confident that her son won't do anything wrong at the wedding,

ADVERTISEMENT

then she can sign a written agreement to foot the wedding bill if he did? 🙃 In all honesty, it sounds like there needs to be a family discussion/intervention with your sister regarding her child. Does your sister think he's the next baby Jesus? Why is she letting him run rampant?

KoolJozeeKatt − NTA. Even if your nephew has a (likely undiagnosed) behavioral issue, he is not under control and he will disrupt things. You do not have to have that child at your wedding if you believe he is not capable of self-control. Your sister is not helping him by allowing him to run amuck.

ADVERTISEMENT

He will find as he grows, and his behavior gets worse - as it will without treatment - he is excluded from a great many things. I don't care what disability he may have, you are right to not permit him to be at your wedding. You have a right to a peaceful ceremony and reception. You are NTA.

annrkea − NTA but this child needs help. Someone should be talking to a doctor, not just banning him or coddling him.

ADVERTISEMENT

000-Hotaru_Tomoe − NTA. I was about to write 'and disinvite your sister, too' because she absolutely had to apologize for the damage to the dress and offer to pay for it. But I see that your sister has taken steps to exclude herself from the ceremony. Best for your wedding (and best wishes for it).

TinyRascalSaurus − NTA. I get people are upset that you're inviting other children, but this is different from just attempting to exclude a child for petty reasons. This is a child with severe, untreated behavioral issues who will undoubtedly interrupt the wedding, and very likely display inappropriate behavior to the guests.

ADVERTISEMENT

That alone is an excellent reason to not have him there. It's not the kid's fault, it's the parents who are to blame for not seeking help for their son. But at the same time, the only solutions available are to either let the child be disruptive at a once in a lifetime event or to keep him in an environment more suitable for his difficulties.. You are in no way wrong to not want him there.

random_gen645 − NTA, he needs help and pretending like there is no problem, is helping no one. Your sister is a really s**tty mother. I'm sorry about your dress, will you be able to repair it or do you have to start from scratch/buy one?

These takes spark a question: was the bride’s nephew ban a justified stand, or too harsh on family ties?

This wedding drama, sparked by a dress-slashing nephew, lays bare a family’s struggle with discipline and denial. The bride’s refusal to invite her disruptive 9-year-old kin aimed to safeguard her big day, but it ignited her sister’s fury and split opinions. Was she right to prioritize her peace, or should she have found a compromise? How would you handle an unruly child threatening your dream event? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo sparkling!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *