AITA for buying my biological daughter a car but not my step-daughter?
In a quiet home, a car gift turns into a family flashpoint. A father rewards his 19-year-old daughter’s 4.0 GPA with a $20,000 car, but his 17-year-old stepdaughter, with a 2.7 GPA, expects the same—prompting a new deal: a car if she hits 3.9 and gets into college. His wife calls it unfair, citing the stepdaughter’s spoiled past, and now the cold shoulder reigns.
Picture the rift: a reward meant to inspire, now a source of strain. This Reddit AITA post digs into fairness and blended family tension, leaving readers to decide: is he upholding standards, or playing favorites?
‘AITA for buying my biological daughter a car but not my step-daughter?’
Blended families often face the tightrope of fairness, and this car reward saga is no exception. The father honored a deal with his biological daughter for her 4.0 GPA, while offering his stepdaughter a chance to earn a car with a 3.9 GPA and college acceptance—adjusting for her lower work ethic. His wife’s pushback, rooted in the stepdaughter’s spoiled past, reveals a clash: merit-based rewards versus emotional equity.
This reflects a common stepfamily challenge: balancing biological and stepchildren’s needs. The stepdaughter’s lack of effort, shaped by her father’s prior indulgence, contrasts with the biological daughter’s discipline. Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, notes, “Stepparents must set clear, consistent expectations; uneven treatment breeds resentment.” The father’s offer, though generous, risks alienating his wife and stepdaughter if perceived as punitive.
A middle ground—like supporting the stepdaughter’s academic growth with tutoring or a part-time job goal—could bridge the gap. The wife might contribute financially to soften the burden.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit’s dishing out sharp takes, from firm support to calls for compromise. Here’s what users think about this car conundrum:
![[Reddit User] - NTA. You are amazingly generous to make this offer to Emily, a person who you have only known for a few short years. The conditions are absolutely fair and reasonable by any measure - no one is owed a car. Jenny is way off base here and is being an a**hole for demanding this.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/237846c-01.png)
![[Reddit User] - Completely NTA, and I can see her bio-dad really did some damage to both daughter and wife before their life imploded. You're not giving your daughter a car BECAUSE she's your biological child, she EARNED it. You gave stepdaughter the same opportunity(an even better one, actually-shorter time frame) and she turns her nose up at it.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/237846c-07.png)
![[Reddit User] - NTA! Her being spoiled prior to your arrival in her life has absolutely nothing to do with you. You'd be crippling her further by buying her a car for simply existing and because your bio daughter got one (for doing the work). There is nothing wrong with having her reach a goal that would ultimately help her in the long run of life.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/237846c-09.png)
These opinions spark debate, but do they capture the full tangle of fairness and family ties?
This father’s car dilemma exposes the fault lines of fairness in a blended family. Was he right to tie the stepdaughter’s car to effort, or should he bend for her past? Would you hold firm on earned rewards, or adjust for stepfamily harmony? Share your thoughts below!
