AITA for not making a “gift” for my aunt to give her coworker?

In a cozy crafting nook, a crocheter’s labor of love sparks a family feud. After pouring three months and endless yarn into a stunning afghan for a charity auction, her aunt demands it for a coworker’s baby shower—promised without permission. When refused, the aunt insists on a free replacement, citing family ties, leaving the crocheter bombarded with guilt trips.

Picture the tension: a cherished project caught in a tug-of-war. This Reddit AITA post unravels the clash of boundaries and entitlement, leaving readers to weigh in: is she wrong for standing firm, or is her aunt’s overreach the real misstep?

‘AITA for not making a “gift” for my aunt to give her coworker?’

I am an avid crocheter, and I normally make baby blankets or toys for people in my life when they have kids. I enjoy it, and it helps me relax after work. Not long ago, I decided to make a complicated afghan for an charity silent auction because I really like what they do and with their current situation they have had to cancel most of their fundraising events.

ADVERTISEMENT

My problem comes here: My aunt has decided that I should give her this blanket for a baby shower that's she's throwing for a coworker, and told this coworker that it was a done deal already. Apparently she's very excited about using this blanket (which I made for a charity auction remember) as a decoration in her nursery.

This blanket took me three months to make, two thousand yards of various yarns, and a lot of frustration. It's promised to the silent auction and I will not break that promise. My aunt has instead told me to 'just make another' since she's already promised it to her coworker. For free, because she's family I might add. I do not want to make this blanket again especially for free so that someone I've never met can have it.

But now I'm being bombarded with messages saying how disappointed this coworker is going to be and the baby deserves an heirloom and how I'm going to make my aunt look bad, etc. etc. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate the 'but we're family' argument, but it's different when its directed at you.. So, AITA for making my aunt look bad?

Family expectations can tangle even the tightest stitches. The crocheter, dedicated to a charity auction, faced her aunt’s bold claim on a meticulously crafted afghan, promised to a coworker without consent. The aunt’s push for a free remake, leaning on “family” guilt, ignores the time, cost, and emotional investment—three months and 2,000 yards of yarn. This clash pits personal boundaries against familial entitlement.

ADVERTISEMENT

The aunt’s assumption reflects a broader issue: undervaluing creative work. Crocheting isn’t just a hobby; it’s skilled labor, often costly and time-intensive. Dr. Susan M. Shaw, a sociologist, notes, “Family often expects free access to one’s talents, dismissing their value.” The crocheter’s refusal protects her commitment to charity and her craft’s worth.

A firm response—like redirecting guilt back to the aunt’s promise—could reinforce boundaries. The crocheter might suggest the aunt buy a gift instead, framing it as fairness to the charity.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s dishing out fiery takes, from crafty clapbacks to boundary cheers. Here’s what users think about this afghan showdown:

ADVERTISEMENT

BubblyShip - NTA, she should have asked you before promising away an object she didn't even own. Family doesn't excuse actions. You can also tell her 'But the coworker isn't family' because that doesn't even apply to them. Either way, NTA, your Aunt is trying to take advantage of your skills to make herself look better.

leeleep93 - NTA why would she volunteer you for that. She's making herself look bad by making a promise where most of the work would be done by someone else

ADVERTISEMENT

FuzzyNumNums - NTA. Your aunt should not be volunteering to give away your belongings, especially something you worked hard on for a particular purpose. She has to fess up to the coworker that it’s not happening. Maybe if it makes her uncomfortable enough she will learn to not do things like this again. You have every right to establish and stand by these boundaries. I’m pissed off for you.

I can’t stand people who think they are entitled to others’ time/talents because “we’re family”. My boyfriend is a musician and his family expects him to just entertain everyone at every family party, so we stopped going. They were upset at first but when they realized they weren’t getting what they wanted they backed off.. Also this coworker is not family so her argument is moot.

ADVERTISEMENT

MorganAndMerlin - Oh, NTA so many times over. People who don’t crochet or knit have *no idea* how much time and money it takes to actually make a blanket. It’s significantly cheaper to go buy one. Yarn alone costs a fortune, even if you choose the cheaper acrylic options. To claim a project you’re already working on is absolutely ridiculous.

Honestly, if someone had done that to me, I would ask for that co workers contact info so I could reach out directly and “apologize”. Then I would explain how my aunt had decided the projected I had been working on for months for a charity auction would be given to a family friend for free but never actually asked me or informed me about the decision and then apologize for the miscommunication.. But I’m petty like that.

ADVERTISEMENT

serabine - 'No' is a complete sentence. But when she comes at you with how 'disappointed' her coworker is going to be, *agree*. 'Yes, I know. I can't believe you'd set her up like that, getting her excited by telling her you'll give her something that isn't even yours.

I hope this embarrassment you've put yourself into will help you in the future to refrain from making empty promises regarding other people's possessions.' *Any* further attempts at complaining, strong arming, or guilt tripping should be met with, 'Why are you bringing this up again? We talked about this, the blanket was *never yours to give*.'

ADVERTISEMENT

And that's *that*. Change the topic, and if she doesn't let it go, end the conversation.. And that's all you need. Go full JADE: *Don't Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain*. You know the simple truth of it: It was never hers to give. You owe her no justification as for why she can't give away a blanket that's not hers,

you do not have to argue with her why you shouldn't have to hand her a blanket that's not hers, you don't have to defend yourself for putting your blanket to the use you intended, and you don't have to give an explanation of how expensive or time consuming the blanket was to make because it's yours not hers and would be so even if it were cheap and store bought.. NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

NotSadkitty - NTA. Tell your Aunt stealing from charity is a bad look.

enchantedbunny14 - NTA you're not making your aunt look bad; your aunt's unbelievable sense of entitlement makes her look bad. Does she have any idea the amount of money and effort that go into crocheting even a simple afghan? You'd think if family were really so important to her, she'd have taken her niece's time and aching joints and musclea into consideration before promising them to a stranger.

ADVERTISEMENT

Wikidess - NTA. AITA for making my aunt look bad? Your aunt is making herself look bad by acting entitled to something you made for charity. And to just expect it for free? She'd be less of an a**hole if she ASKED if she could BUY it from you to give as a gift to this coworker, before making promises she can't keep.

Daddyless_Princess - As a fellow “h**ker”, NTA. Tell her that’s the thing about assumptions... they make an ASS out of the person who makes them.

ADVERTISEMENT

czechtheboxes - NTA. Do not give it to her and do not let her make you feel bad. She made herself look bad. If your family still gives you grief, remind them it was made for charity and you are ashamed they would take away from [insert charity here].

These opinions weave a bold tapestry, but do they capture the full knot of family and artistry?

This crocheter’s saga is a vibrant clash of craft and kin. Was she right to guard her charity-bound afghan, or should she have softened for family’s sake? Would you stand firm on your work’s purpose, or cave to a relative’s plea? Share your thoughts below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *