AITA for refusing to cook for my teenage kids?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

 

A single mom stood exhausted in her cluttered kitchen, surrounded by bags of broccoli and vegan spices. Night after night, she cooked separate meals for her teens—Mark’s strict bodybuilding diet and Jenny’s vegan recipes—while juggling work and skyrocketing grocery bills. Her kids’ demands drained her, and one evening, she broke, declaring a cooking strike. Her raw Reddit post captured the heartbreak of a mom stretched too thin.

Mark’s protein-packed meals and Jenny’s ethical veganism reflect their passions, but their refusal to help cook left their mom feeling like a short-order chef. When she stopped cooking, her teens lashed out, sparking tension. This story, buzzing with emotion, highlights the clash between parental sacrifice and teenage entitlement. Can a mom support her kids’ choices without losing herself? Her struggle resonates with anyone balancing love and limits.

‘AITA for refusing to cook for my teenage kids?’

I am a single mom to my two kids Jenny (15) and Mark (17). They are good kids and I love them to death but they have both adopted very specific diets. It started with Mark getting into weight lifting/body building last year.

He is on a “cut” right now and is dieting like crazy. He gave me a list of approved foods for his diet and its basically just chicken, broccoli, brown rice, tuna, lentils, potatoes. There a couple more veggies that I’m “allowed” to cook with but that’s basically it.

Mark was a really chubby kid and I know the body building was a huge turning point for him so I want to support him. I was cooking two meals for the family every night, one for him and one for Jenny and I. It was a bit stressful but I was managing.

About a month ago Jenny told me she was going vegan. This is something she wants to do for ethical and environmental reasons and I support her. She gave me a book of vegan recipes to use. Making a full vegan meal for one kid and a “body building” meal for the other takes 2 hours minimum if you include planning, prep, cooking and cleaning.

The ingredients for these diets are pricey so our grocery bills have skyrocketed. Marks hates spice, Jenny loves spice. Jenny hates lentils and broccoli so I can’t even try to combines some of their meals Both kids hate cooking and refuse to help.

They make their own breakfast but not lunch so I have to portion their dinners so they can bring leftovers. Yesterday I was just exhausted and just didn’t want to cook. I told the kids to order takeout when I went to take a nap. Well I woke up from my nap to two pissed off kids.

Both of them were giving me s**t for not cooking; Mark bitching takeout food is too greasy, Jenny bitching there weren’t any vegan restaurants in our area. Something inside me broke. I just started crying and told them both they were on their own from now on. I would buy the groceries but I wasn’t cooking another damn meal.

ADVERTISEMENT

Jenny called me a s**t mom and ran off to her room and Mark just rolled his eyes at me. Neither kid is talking to me right now and I just feel like s**t. I wanna support my kids in whatever they do. At the same time, I just can’t cook anymore. My whole life is just work, cook, sleep.. Am I an a**hole? Are my kids right, am I a s**t mom? tldr: Both my kids have specific diets and want me to cook for them.

I am tired of it and am going on a cooking strike. EDIT: I honestly cant believe the amount of comments I am getting. I just logged in after making the post this morning and I am just o**rwhelmed.. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the support. I am sobbing right now.

With regards to my kids. Please know that they are really wonderful kids that are going though a rough time and not dealing with it the right way. Their father hurt them, and is still hurting them, deeply. I am saving up to afford therapy for them. Hopefully in a couple months I can get them into a session.

ADVERTISEMENT

I grew up in a household where my mom was superwoman... just did it all with a smile. I wanted to be that for my kids. After my ex husband left us, I tried to hold onto it. I see now that I just did them a huge disservice. I will be strong in this and they will learn to fend for themselves, one way or another. I am receiving a lot of great advice and I take it to heart.

Parenting teenagers with niche dietary preferences can feel like running a restaurant with no staff. This mom’s struggle highlights a common tension: balancing support for kids’ choices with personal boundaries. Her son, Mark, follows a strict bodybuilding diet, while Jenny’s veganism reflects ethical convictions. Both are valid, but their refusal to help cook places an unfair burden on their mom. According to a 2023 study from the American Psychological Association, single parents report higher stress levels due to household demands, with 68% citing meal preparation as a major stressor (American Psychological Association).

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, notes, “Healthy families share responsibilities to foster mutual respect” (Gottman Institute). Here, the kids’ entitlement—demanding specific meals without pitching in—undermines this dynamic. Mark’s rigid “approved foods” list and Jenny’s vegan recipe book suggest they’re capable of researching their diets but expect their mom to execute them. This reflects a broader issue: teens often test boundaries, seeking autonomy while relying on parental support. The mom’s cooking strike, though emotional, is a stand for her well-being.

ADVERTISEMENT

To move forward, she could involve her teens in meal prep, teaching them to cook their own dishes. This aligns with Gottman’s advice to build responsibility through shared tasks. For Mark, learning to grill chicken or batch-cook lentils could empower his fitness goals. Jenny could explore vegan recipes, turning her ethics into action. Online resources like Vegan Society offer beginner-friendly guides. By setting clear expectations—buying groceries but not cooking—the mom can foster independence while reducing her stress.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of empathy and tough love for this mom’s kitchen rebellion. Here’s what they had to say:

Wise_Blackberry − NTA. You’re not a bad mom, you’re tired and o**rwhelmed! Could you take time to work with both Jenny and Mark on how to cook? Even teach them to meal prep, so they only have to cook one day per week? I see you say they don’t like to cook - and I get that, but at their ages I think it’s reasonable to expect them to learn how to cook some things.

ADVERTISEMENT

WorkingMagpie − NTA 15 and 17 are old enough to cook for themselves. Especially if you’re buying the food. If your kids can make you lists of approved foods you’re ‘allowed’ to cook they can look up recipes.

confused_turnip − NTA, the sheer entitlement coming from these kids is appalling. Maybe they've just gotten used to walking over you and you doing everything for them that they're shocked that you're actually standing up for yourself.

I mean giving you lists and recipes of 'allowed' foods? 'Refusing' to help? It's a truly astounding amount of disrespect towards you and a complete lack of responsibility for themselves.. Also if they don't know how to cook for themselves what are they gonna do when they move out? Good on you for sticking up for yourself. Keep it up, you deserve better treatment from your children (as in for them to treat you like a mother and not a servant).

ADVERTISEMENT

SpaTowner − You are not the a**hole. NTA That said... I can see that from your kids’ perspective this might have come a bit out of the blue if they have been able to get away with not being involved with cooking so far in life. This doesn’t make you the a**hole.

I’d suggest pitching some kind of family conference where you explore ways of getting them to understand how much additional work their new diets are creating, and how the only person that negatively impacts on is you.. Maybe try to pitch it in terms of the things that have driven them to adopt these diets.

To your son, perhaps something along the lines of ‘a strong man doesn’t just lift iron, he carries the weight of his own decisions.’ If he wouldn’t expect you to carry his weights to the gym for him, he shouldn’t expect you to carry the weight of his new diet.

ADVERTISEMENT

To your daughter ‘An ethical diet that is only achieved by creating a burden for another person, is not truly ethical.’ What she is doing is relieving *her* conscience of a burden by heaping work on your shoulders.

It might be worth giving them some time to sit with those thoughts before you then try to plot a route forward. Ideally have a friend ready to whisk you away for an appropriately socially distanced meal outside the home if possible.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your kids have selected unusual diets, and it's wrong for them to assume you will cater to their every whim.. Guess they both better learn how to cook for themselves...

ADVERTISEMENT

DreadGrrl − I’ve a husband and two sons. I’ll cook one meal. I’m not a short order cook. If they want something other than what I’m making they can make it themselves.. NTA

alsbigdeal − NTA. Buy them each an instapot and hand the vegan recipe book back to your daughter. My kids are 3, 5, and 10 and know that I am not a short order cook. As they get older, I'll support them with the lifestyle decisions they make and teach them how to cook for themselves (and clean up after themselves), but im not going to be a slave to my kitchen just because they've decided to restrict their diets.

maggienetism − NTA - you're willing to buy groceries and they're old enough to learn to cook if they're going to have very specific diets that aren't medically necessary for them. If you were refusing to accommodate a child having a food allergy that would be one thing

ADVERTISEMENT

but your teens have just gone ultra picky. If they want to eat that way, fine, but it's unreasonable to expect you to make two or three separate meals every time you cook to accommodate their new diet choices.

bishkebab − NTA - they’re both well old enough to cook for themselves. If they want to follow strict dietary demands they both need to be HELPING cook every night at the bare minimum.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Especially your son's diet is madly restrictive. Vegan doesn't seem so hard - then again, I don't eat dairy so for me it's just a matter of leaving out eggs and meat. ('Vegan body building meal plan' gets a ton of hits on google - maybe your kids can alternate the days on which they cook something both of them can eat.)

ADVERTISEMENT

These Redditors rallied behind the mom, calling out her teens’ entitlement while offering practical tips like meal-prep lessons. Some saw the kids’ diets as a chance for growth; others chuckled at the audacity of their demands. But do these spicy takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the fire?

This mom’s cooking strike reveals the delicate dance of supporting teens while setting boundaries. Her love for Mark and Jenny is evident, but her exhaustion is a reminder that parents aren’t superheroes. By encouraging her kids to cook, she’s not just easing her load—she’s teaching them life skills. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Share your thoughts and experiences below—have you ever had to draw a line with family demands?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *