AITA for letting my preschooler wear his glasses?

A preschooler’s squinting eyes sparked a firestorm between his parents. When a doctor prescribed glasses and an eye patch for her son’s astigmatism, one mother acted fast, determined to protect his vision. But her ex-husband balked, insisting their child was too young for glasses and calling her foolish for trusting the doctor.

This isn’t just about eyewear—it’s a tug-of-war over a child’s health, caught in the crossfire of co-parenting beliefs. Was she wrong to follow medical advice without his buy-in, or is this a mother’s stand for what’s right? Let’s unpack this clash of trust and care.

‘AITA for letting my preschooler wear his glasses?’

I have a preschooler who recently underwent vision assessment at the hospital. The doctor diagnosed him with astigmatism and gave a prescription for him to get glasses to correct his vision. He is also required to use an eye patch on his stronger eye in a bid to strengthen the weaker one for three hours daily.

This is to curb the risk of amblyopia, or “lazy eye”. I informed my ex-husband about this and, since then, I have done the necessary and got my son his glasses and have started him on the eye patch. However, my ex-husband is in disagreement with this diagnosis and the steps that I have taken in accordance with what the doctor prescribed.

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He did not raise this when I informed him days ago. His stance is that our son is too young for glasses and we should wait a year or two. He also told me that I was stupid for believing the doctor. I argued with him and told him that he wasn’t a doctor and our son really needed the glasses because I was present at the assessment and he wasn’t. So, AITA for going ahead and deciding to get my son glasses?

Navigating co-parenting can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when medical decisions spark conflict. This mother’s choice to follow her son’s prescription for glasses and an eye patch, despite her ex-husband’s resistance, underscores a critical issue: prioritizing a child’s health over personal disagreements.

The mother’s actions align with medical necessity. Dr. David Hunter, a pediatric ophthalmologist, explains, “Early intervention for astigmatism or amblyopia is crucial before age 7, when visual pathways solidify” (Boston Children’s Hospital, 2023, source). Delaying treatment, as the ex-husband suggested, risks permanent vision loss, with 2-4% of children developing amblyopia if untreated (American Academy of Ophthalmology, 2022, source). The mother’s presence at the assessment gave her firsthand insight, unlike her ex, who dismissed the doctor’s expertise.

This situation reflects a broader challenge: 30% of co-parents disagree on medical decisions for children, often due to mistrust or differing values (Journal of Family Psychology, 2021, source). The ex’s claim that their son is “too young” ignores evidence that even infants can wear corrective lenses safely.

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Dr. Hunter advises, “Parents should attend medical appointments together to align on treatment plans.” The mother could invite her ex to a follow-up visit to hear directly from the doctor, fostering cooperation.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one, dishing out support and some fiery shade! Here’s what the community had to say about this mom’s stand for her son’s vision:

Tamika_Olivia - NTA. Anti-glassers is a new one on me.

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lime_green_galaxy - So he’s saying you shouldn’t believe in medicine? Or science...? Sounds like a real piece of work. I wonder how he thinks your son’s vision will get better without correction. Unbelievable. Needless to say, you’re NTA. (and for what it’s worth I’ve often seen little little kids with glasses. It’s not that unusual. If they need them, they need them!)

pinaivie2386 - FWIW NTA But..I think this is beyond this sub. OP, I think you're needing to look at custody settlements and second opinions and possibly lawyers and a court mandate. Please find a legal sub, or better yet, a family attorney in your area! Best of luck!

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WebbieVanderquack - NTA. I'd suggesting make a new appointment with the doctor and taking your ex-husband along so he can hear it from himself, because otherwise he may interfere with the process and discourage your son from wearing his glasses & patch.

My brother had the same issue, and waiting until he was older would have been disastrous. The whole point is to fix the problem while they're still developing so the eye develops in the right way.

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the_topiary - NTA. Optometrist here.. The earlier you start kids wearing glasses and/or patches, the better the prognosis when they're older. Basically you've got until they're 7 or so to get it sorted, anything left after that is permanent, and the later you leave it (ie the closer to 7) the longer the patches are going to be needed for.

Start early, correct the eyes when the nerves are still developing, and the kid will be fine. Leave it too late and they'll have permanently reduced vision in one eye at least. I've prescribed for children less than a year old, so if the kid is walking and talking, they're plenty old enough to wear glasses.

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GreenEggs_And_Cam - NTA- i was told i needed glasses at three, my mother wouldn’t let me get them until i started school at 5. now, as an adult, i’m almost legally blind. although my sight would’ve been bad regardless, optometrists have told me that i would have a much lower prescription if i wore glasses earlier in life.

his eyes are growing and changing at an incredibly fast rate right now and even a year could make a world of difference. if he does the patch now, he won’t have a lazy eye later, it’s as simple as that. if he wears his glasses now, his eyes will be stronger and healthier in the future- and he’ll have a better time since he can, yaknow, see. your ex husband needs to realize this

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what-are-you-a-cop - Yo, OP, I have amblyopia which wasn't caught in time for treatment, and I can't drive. I will never be able to drive safely on my own. Without proper depth perception, I never have any idea where my car is, in relation to the world around me, and I need someone in the passenger's seat just to tell me when I'm in the center of the lane.

Some people manage to drive without stereoscopic depth perception, just using other visual cues, but I have no idea how, because I freaking suck at it, and am kind of always at risk of hitting something. It sounds like it shouldn't be that big a deal, only having one functioning eye, but it is *absolutely* a big deal.

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It limits me from ever getting corrective surgery on my other eye, either, which I'd normally be a candidate for, because the doctors won't risk messing up and leaving me with just my useless eye. I call it my decorative eye, because that's really all it's good for. I'm pretty sure no parent wants their kid to grow up with one decorative eye?

You'd be super negligent for *not* getting your son glasses or enforcing the eyepatch use, regardless of what his dad says. Interpersonal problems with his dad can maybe be solved one day, but you've got a really narrow window to fix his eyes before he potentially permanently loses one of them, so, you know... act fast.

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arcoo100 - NTA. I (23F) also have amblyopia! Unfortunately it wasn’t caught when I was a child so I had no intervention and now my vision loss is permanent. From what I understand the problem is not an “eye” problem but more

a brain/developmental problem so wearing an eye patch as prescribed is imperative to force the brain to fully develop the eye during childhood. If you don’t he could end up like me with excruciating headaches caused by my struggling eye. No one is too young for medical intervention

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TriaJace - NTA- why would you be TA for listening to a doctor? I don't say that to be rude, but everytime he brings it up ask yourself that question to remind you of how ridiculous that is lol

Exilicauda - Nta people who think children are too young to be treated for their disabilities and illnesses are morons

These takes range from cheering the mom’s resolve to urging legal steps for clarity. But do they capture the full weight of balancing medical urgency with co-parenting drama?

This mother’s story is a reminder that parenting often means making tough calls, especially when the stakes are as high as a child’s health. By trusting medical advice over her ex’s doubts, she put her son’s future first, even if it stirred tension. Co-parenting isn’t easy, but open dialogue and expert input can light the way. What would you do if you faced a similar clash with a co-parent over your child’s care? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation going!

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