AITA for leaving my roommate gfs waiting for me to get home?

A cold evening turned heated when a Reddit user arrived home to find their roommate’s girlfriend fuming after waiting two hours outside their apartment. With her phone dead and no key, she expected a quick rescue, but the user, fresh off work, savored a beer with friends instead. The fallout? A yelling match and a question of responsibility.

This tale of miscommunication and misplaced blame hooks readers with its relatable tension. Was it the user’s duty to rush home, or should the girlfriend have planned better? Let’s dive into this urban drama and see what Reddit’s hive mind thinks.

‘AITA for leaving my roommate gfs waiting for me to get home?’

My roommates invited his girlfriend for the week. Yesterday he was working so his gf went out alone during the day in the city. I was finishing my job at 6pm, my roommate later so my roommate texted me his gf number to see how we could do because her phone didn’t have any battery left and she wanted to get in the apartment.

I text her I tell her that I soon won’t have any connection, telling her I’m having a beer with friends and I send her the location. Telling her come here I’ll give you the keys or wait for me in front of the apartment when I come back. Sending her this and then warning her that I won’t be able to respond back.

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She sends me a text telling me okay I’ll wait for you I don’t have the money for an uber to get to you (I mean you can also take the metro. It’s a long ride but eh you can take the metro. That’s what I obviously do) So anyway I drink my beer blablabla and then I come back. Its busy with the metro etc so it takes me a lot of time to get back.

Didn’t necessarily rush to finish my beer and then to get back home takes me around an hour. So I arrive home almost two hours after she sent me the text. She is sitting just in front of the house and absolutely yelling at me, telling me I’m an a**hole etc she waited two hours in the cold without any battery left on her phone..

Roommate is the same, yelling at me telling me how dare I leave her gf two hours outside. I’m kinda like I just wanted my beer after my job lmao ain’t my gf and I offered her to join me to get the keys.. So am I the a**hole?

This apartment lockout isn’t just about a dead phone—it’s about expectations and accountability. The Reddit user’s choice to prioritize a post-work beer over rushing home wasn’t malicious, but it left the girlfriend in the cold. Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor, notes, “Clear communication prevents resentment in shared living spaces” (Psychology Today). The user offered a solution—meet for the keys—but the girlfriend’s decision to wait shifted the burden.

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The girlfriend’s lack of preparation, like not having money or a charged phone, reflects poor planning. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that 40% of interpersonal conflicts stem from unclear expectations (APA Study). The roommate’s failure to provide a key or coordinate with his girlfriend placed the user in an unfair spot.

The yelling from both the girlfriend and roommate suggests misplaced blame. Relationship coach John Gray advises, “Assigning responsibility without communication fuels conflict” (MarsVenus). The user could clarify boundaries, suggesting the roommate handle his guest’s logistics.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit dished out a feast of opinions, from snarky to supportive, on this chilly standoff. Here’s what the community had to say:

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Mind-the-Gaff - NTA I fail to see how it is your responsibility to make sure she could get in. Why didn't your housemate give her his keys before he left for work. 100% not your responsibility or problem.

rockology_adam - NTA. You set clear expectations that she could come get the key but that you were not coming home right at the end of your work day. She made choices. It sucks that she was stuck outside for so long. Is there really no where else she could have gone in that time?

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No coffee shop, no mall... frankly, transit stations make EXCELLENT places to wait when it's an emergency. This also highlights one of the great first-world problems of the 21st century: no one else is responsible for your battery dying, and it's on you to know how to figure out what to do when it does.

Neutral_Guy_9 - NTA. An adult should know to . 1. Have money when traveling. 2. Keep phone battery charged when traveling

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1962Michael - NTA.. It's not your responsibility AT ALL to let roommate's GF in to the apartment. GF is AH for leaving the apartment without a way to get in, for not having a place to be or a way to charge her phone.. Roommate is an AH to GF for not providing her with a key or coming to her assistance.. They're both AH for blaming you.

Travellingone777 - NTA. She's the one who decided to wait.. How come nobody had a working phone..... Why didn't BF give her his key?. Why is she visiting for a week with no money?. Yelling at you is rude of them. If they can't behave, GF can stay somewhere else.

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Specific-Ad-1055 - Punctuation doesnt exist.. Godzilla had a stroke reading this.. I want my time back

Snackinpenguin - This was on roomie to make sure girlfriend had access to the apartment to let him in herself or lend her his set of keys. You gave her an option. She just didn’t like it. None of this was on you. You didn’t invite her. He did. She can re-direct the blame to him. NTA.

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ladyl38 - NTA, not your guest not your problem. Your roommate obviously think you're hosting too, which is really weird

KrofftSurvivor - NTA. Your roommate and his girlfriend should have figured this out ahead of time. He could have left her his key, or she could have checked to find out when someone would be back to let her in *before* leaving an apartment that she had no way to reenter without assistance.. She did something stupid and she's putting the blame on you.

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becoming_maxine - NTA She should have gone to your roommate's work to collect his apartment key. This should not have involved you at all.

These hot takes spark debate, but do they nail the real issue? The consensus points fingers at poor planning and misplaced blame.

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This story serves up a frosty clash of responsibility and expectations, with a side of post-work relaxation. The Reddit user’s beer break wasn’t a crime, but was it inconsiderate? As the roommate and his girlfriend point fingers, one question lingers: whose job was it to plan ahead? What would you do if stuck in this apartment drama? Drop your thoughts and let’s keep the conversation sizzling!

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