AITA for refusing to give my brother money after he refused to babysit in a emergency?

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In the cozy chaos of a family pool house, a young mom juggles uni, work, and parenting with her boyfriend, leaning on family support to make it work. But when a work emergency leaves her scramblingts for a babysitter, her 16-year-old brother’s refusal and stinging words—“you suck as a mom”—cut deep. Usually quick to help him with rides or cash, she draws a line, shutting down his requests for money.

His whining sparks a family debate, with their mom and sister urging forgiveness. This tale of hurt feelings and tough love unfolds in a tense standoff, testing the bonds of sibling loyalty and the weight of words in a busy household.

‘AITA for refusing to give my brother money after he refused to babysit in a emergency?’

I (20f) got pregnant in my last year of highschool, but my and my boyfriend(20f) families helped us a lot. We live in my family pool house, we are both in uni and working part-time. My mom is a SAHM and takes care of the baby for us when we have to work and study.

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My brother(16m) and I always had a good relationship. I always help him with his things, give rides, and sometimes give him money when he asks (my parents aren't pretty generous w/ money, and sometimes he doesn't have enough to go out w/ his friends).

At the beginning of this year my boss called me on my day-off and asked me to come to the store as fast as I can, because she had a family emergency and needed to leave. I searched for my mom at home but she was doing grocery shopping, she told me it would take one more hour until she comes back, and told me to ask my brother to take care of the baby.

He was playing in his pc and got annoyed when I asked to babysit, if was only it I could let it slide, is not his obligation after all, and them he told me 'why did you had a baby if you can't even take care of him, you suck as a mom', I really wanted to fight back but my priority was find a sitter, i told him to eat grass.

My neighbor took my baby until my mom got home and I worked the rest of the day. His words really rubbed me the wrong way. We (Bf+I) are aware of our privilege, we have free child care, we are both able to attend uni, and we have a lot of support.

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We pay our own bills, our parents never had to pay for a single diaper for our baby, we make everything we can to not rely on them more than we already do. We both were willing to drop uni to work and support our baby. It didn't happen because our families helped us.

After that he asked me for money a few more times, and every single time my answer was the same 'no', nothing more, nothing last. Yesterday I was helping my mom cook. He came and asked me for money, I gave him the same no. But he started to whine about how I turned mean to him for no reason.

I told him 'To get money I need to work, and since I have a child, I also need him to be cared for so I can work with peace. And as you said the other day, I can't take care of my son, why should I give you the little money I have?'. He tried to argue that he was just snappy that day and he didn't really say that for real. I told him to stop and don’t ask me for anything more.

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My mom wanted to know everything in detail, I told her everything, she scolded him for what he said, but told me I am wrong for holding a grudge from a teenager. My older sister (26F) told me that I was TA because I told my mom, I should just forgive him because I am older

This sibling clash highlights the sting of hurtful words and the importance of mutual support in families. The young mom’s decision to stop giving her brother money after his refusal to babysit and cruel remark reflects a stand for self-respect. Dr. John Gottman, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Words carry weight; repairing trust requires genuine accountability.” His insight underscores the brother’s need to own his hurtful comment, which dismissed her efforts as a parent.

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The brother’s refusal to help, while not his duty, was a missed chance to support his sister, who juggles significant responsibilities. Studies show 70% of teen parents face judgment from family, often amplifying stress in young adulthood. His insult, calling her a bad mom, ignored her efforts to balance work, study, and parenting with limited resources. The mom and older sister’s push for forgiveness may stem from seeing him as “just a teenager,” but this risks excusing accountability.

Gottman’s advice applies: apologies rebuild bridges. The brother could mend things with a sincere apology and offer to help, like babysitting occasionally. The sister might consider a calm talk to express how his words hurt, fostering understanding. For others in similar spats, setting clear expectations—such as trading favors like rides for occasional help—can prevent resentment. This story reflects a broader issue: balancing family support with personal boundaries. How do siblings maintain respect when tensions flare?

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit users served up a feast of fiery support, dishing out takes that back the young mom’s stand with gusto. Here’s what they had to say:

Beopenminded16 - NTA. Don’t coddle teenagers. That’s when they think they are “basically adults” and should be treated as such. I appreciated being treated as an adult when I was a teenager and it definitely helped me understand how I could burn my own bridges if I’m not careful.

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sqibbery - NTA. He's old enough to get how responsibilities work. He's allowed to refuse to babysit (although I think it was kind of jerky because it was just a one-time situation) because it's not his responsibility, just like it's not your responsibility to give him money. His attitude about that is what keeps this from being a NAH situation.

ThePunchlineIsFunny - NTA, lol. He's 2 years shy of being an adult if he can't control his temper to not say hurtful things then he should be prepared for the consequences. In any event you don't owe him money at all,

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it's a privilege (a privilege that he seems to be unaware of, amusingly enough). I think if he apologizes and truly means it that's a different story but you shouldn't have to yield to pressure just because you're older. Either way, just a dumb teenager saying dumb things.

WaDaEp - NTA.. He's 16 years old. He should know better by now. Your older sister can now be his ATM. Tell them both congrats for that new type of relationship they're going to have with each other.. As for your mother, she needs to stop making excuses for him. As for your brother, he's old enough to get a job instead of acting like a ten year old going around asking his elders for fun money.

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rappoccio - NTA. Your brother could easily babysit for a bit of extra cash and is not entitled to your money.

[Reddit User] - NTA, forgive him when you're ready, but you shouldn't be giving him money, you and your kid come first. Sounds like he's taking advantage of you. If he wants something he can work for it. I've been working since I was his age.

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Sounds like he needs to mature a little. My first job at 16 was as a teacher's assistant at a summer school for 1-3 graders. He should have been more willing to help with your kid since he was just playing games anyway. He should learn the values of caring for and helping others, especially family.

invisiblebats - NTA The fact that he's giving you a hard time for having to work while expecting you to *give him the money that you earn from that job* is absolutely ridiculous. What he said to you was so profoundly hurtful and unnecessary. It sounds like you and your bf are managing a ton, and it's wonderful that you have family support but that doesn't mean that you are slacking or that what you are doing is *easy.*

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HelenDamnnation - NTA. The time to forgive him is when he stops whining and apologizes and starts seeing what he can do to help you out in return for all your help.

SmartassMouth89 - NTA good on you. If he's 16 he's old enough to get a job or do odd jobs around neighborhood to earn money. He's not a child anymore.

bitchy_badger - NTA actions have consequences. He couldn’t be bothered to help you in a time of need, why should you give someone who is capable of earning money some of yours.

These Reddit roasts are spicy, but do they fully capture the balance of family loyalty and accountability?

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This young mom’s clash with her brother over a babysitting snub and harsh words reveals the delicate dance of family support and accountability. Her decision to cut off his cash flow sparked debate, but it underscores the power of words and mutual respect. How do families navigate when teens cross lines? If a sibling insulted your efforts, would you forgive or stand firm? Share your stories—let’s explore how to keep family ties strong while setting boundaries.

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