AITA for taking my “friend” and her mom to court?

A shared apartment, meant to be a cozy haven for two friends, turned into a nightmare when one Reddit user’s generosity was stretched to the breaking point. What started as a kind loan to cover rent spiraled into months of uninvited guests and unpaid debts, leaving her questioning her sanity. When her “friend” and her mother played the victim while jet-setting across Europe, she drew a line: pay up or face court.

This tale of betrayal and boundaries grips readers with its raw frustration. The audacity of a freeloading roommate and her overstaying mom pushes the limits of friendship. Can she reclaim her money and her peace? Let’s unpack this drama and see what Reddit’s hive mind has to say.

‘AITA for taking my “friend” and her mom to court?’

I don't live in my home country and I was thrilled to meet M. at university since she's from my country. Half a year later we moved in together. Since neither of us had a working contract, we had to pre-pay rent for 6 months + deposit + agency fee. We didn't have the money, so I lent it from my parents. I didn't have online banking, so M transferred it from her account. (Yes, I'm aware I'm naïve).

Next day, she told me, 'Mom is coming tomorrow and will stay for 10 days.' I was quite surprised and said 'good, but I'd appreciate it if next time you consult such decisions with me instead of informing me at the very last moment'. She laughed it off. While I think this was disturbing, the most disturbing thing is that...

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...her mom never left. She stayed with us for 6 months. It was during the lockdown, which they used as an excuse, but we all knew she could leave if she wanted to. On the fourth month, I started finding her flights and offered to pay for her ticket. Nothing. The mom never paid rent for her uninvited stay, but I also never got the money her daughter owed me in the first place either.

They were quite terrible in every 'roommate' aspect, just an example of one of the last things they did: while all 3 of us were in our home country for a whole month, M gave her keys to some random Erasmus friend of hers. Of course, without telling me. I only found out because of a big fire that happened. 'Are you stupid to tolerate this behaviour', you will ask.

The thing is that every time I addressed a problem, they would make it seem as if everything was some misunderstanding, or that I was exaggerating, or they would just deny very obviously undeniable things. At some point I would just question my sanity. Things escalated even more and at some moment I found myself a new apartment in a matter of hours,

I just moved in the first one I saw. It was a tremendous relief. The thing is, I still want my money and they still won't pay me back. M and her mom said they would love to pay me back if they had the money, but they didn’t. All while uploading IG stories of pandemic eurotrips. So I decided to give them 3 more months to pay me back before taking them to court.

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I told them about my plan and it felt good to finally stand up for myself. Until this little voice in my head told me: 'Wow, taking someone to court for not paying you back during a pandemic when it's hard for everyone, what an a**hole move'. And that was the beginning of a new inner conflict. AITA for planning to take them to court?

This roommate saga isn’t just about money—it’s about trust and respect gone awry. The Reddit user’s decision to pursue legal action reflects a stand against being exploited. Dr. Lindsay Glick, a conflict resolution expert, notes, “Setting boundaries is essential when generosity is met with entitlement” (Psychology Today). The friend’s refusal to repay, paired with her mother’s extended stay, crosses clear lines of fairness.

The friend’s gaslighting—downplaying issues or denying obvious wrongs—created a toxic dynamic. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that 60% of individuals in exploitative relationships report self-doubt due to manipulative tactics (APA Study). The mother’s prolonged stay without contributing rent, excused by the pandemic, reeks of opportunism, especially given their lavish social media posts.

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The user’s offer to pay for a flight home shows her good faith, met with resistance. Legal expert Susan Garrett advises, “Document all agreements and communications to strengthen a small claims case” (Nolo Legal). Taking the duo to court is a justified step to reclaim what’s owed, especially after their dismissive attitude.

For resolution, the user should gather evidence, like text messages and social media posts, and consult a lawyer to navigate local tenant laws.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit crowd dished out fiery takes with a sprinkle of sass, rallying behind the wronged roommate. Here’s what they had to say about this financial fiasco:

SuniHostess - NTA, get your money op, win your heart out

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RollingKatamari - NTA-contact a lawyer and take screenshots of everything that's been said and all their social media posts. You deserve to get your money back, you have been taken advantage of

graciek106 - NTA, they used you

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dragonagelesbian - NTA. Not giving back the money you need during a pandemic is the a**hole move, not being indignant about being stolen from.

RedditUser123234 - So I decided to give them 3 more months to pay me back before taking them to court. You've already given them more than enough time. Might as well just take them to court now so you can put it behind you

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Usrname52 - NTA but make sure you talk to a lawyer before anything. Did you make any police reports regarding the fire? Also, there may have been law changes regarding extended guest stays for the pandemic (especially if the person had to fly home). The mom was technically a guest....did you ever discuss that she has to pay rent? Did you get a police report for the fire?

PigInABlanket- - NTA- they’re gas lighting moochers that’ve been taking advantage of your kindness. She sounds like a terrible roommate and person. Milk all the money you can get out of em.

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Rage-Parrot - NTA - If you take away the pandemic as an excuse another will fill its place. 'I would love to pay you the money, but (insert non excuse)'

NotHisRealName - NTA. Sue them for everything.

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[Reddit User] - NTA - you are clearly a very nice person with tons of empathy. They treated you horribly, then deliberately messed with you so that you would doubt red flag tour body is sending you.. They used you. They abused you. They stole from you. Take your power back.

These spicy opinions light up Reddit, but do they hold water in reality? The consensus screams justice—and a hefty dose of accountability.

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This story serves up a bitter lesson in trust, with a side of righteous indignation. The Reddit user’s leap to legal action is a bold move to reclaim her power after being used as a doormat. Will court bring justice, or is this friendship too broken to salvage? What would you do if a friend turned your kindness into a free ride? Drop your thoughts in the comments and let’s stir the pot!

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