AITA for implying my dad was too old and ugly for people to have a crush on him?

In a bustling restaurant, a 70-year-old man beams, convinced the young waitress’s smile signals a crush, while his daughter cringes, knowing it’s just her job. His delusions escalate when he suspects a gay client’s kindness is aggressive flirting, prompting her to laugh and bluntly call him too old and unattractive for such fantasies. Her words, meant to ground him, instead spark his fury and a family standoff.

This isn’t just about a bruised ego—it’s a tangle of aging, perception, and respect for others’ boundaries. Reddit’s NTA verdict cheers her reality check, while some whisper of deeper issues like cognitive decline. Like a mirror reflecting an uncomfortable truth, the story probes the clash of family honesty and fragile pride, asking how you’d handle a loved one’s inflated self-image.

‘AITA for implying my dad was too old and ugly for people to have a crush on him?’

My dad is 70 years old and he thinks everyone is trying to hit on him. At first, I thought it was a dad joke type thing but I've been realizing that he's serious. Everytime we go to a restaurant, he thinks a young waitress hits on him for being just polite.

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It's really annoying because I worked as a waitress and I HATED when old men thought (or anyone) thought I was hitting on them for doing my job so I let my dad know. He was convinced that the waitress had a crush on him but I at least got him not to be weird around the waitress.

He started working with a client who is a gay man. My dad is convinced this man has a crush on him. At first I tried to tell him that not every person attracted to men has a crush on him for being nice... didn't work. He recently told me that he considered to drop this client and I asked why.

(The client sounds like an extremely kind man who was willing to pay my dad a lot for his work) And my dad said it was because the guy was coming on to him aggressively. I asked how and he said that the client wanted to invite him to dinner (he invited my mom too btw) because he was so excited for someone to be working on his house.

I ended up laughing at my dad's face and told him that he shouldn't worry about people hitting on him. My dad got mad and asked why and I said: 'You're more than twice as old as this (client's name). He's also married happily.

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It's just ridiculous to think that you'd be attractive and irresisitable enough for a man who has a great marriage to ruin it for a guy he knows for a couple weeks.' My dad got mad at that part because he called me rude for laughing and implying he was ugly. He said that I could've just calmly disagreed but I escalated. My mom wants me to apologize to my dad because he won't talk to me now but I really don't want to.

The daughter’s blunt remark, while harsh, was a desperate bid to curb her father’s misinterpretations, which risked professional relationships and social discomfort. His belief that routine politeness or kindness equals romantic interest suggests an inflated ego or possible cognitive issues, especially at 70. Her prior gentle attempts failed, justifying her sharper tone, though laughing may have deepened the rift.

A 2023 study in Aging & Mental Health found that 20% of adults over 65 exhibit personality changes, like heightened ncissism, sometimes linked to early dementia (Taylor & Francis, 2023). Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a ncissism expert, notes, “Exaggerated self-perception in older adults can strain relationships, but family must balance honesty with empathy” (DoctorRamani.com). The father’s reaction—anger and withdrawal—hints at fragile self-esteem, not just ego.

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Reddit’s NTA support validates her frustration, especially given her waitress experience, though some miss the potential health angle. Her mother’s call for an apology prioritizes peace over addressing the root issue.

She should encourage her parents to seek a geriatric assessment to rule out cognitive decline (MayoClinic.org). A private, empathetic talk with her dad, affirming his value while clarifying professional boundaries, could mend ties. Joining him in a neutral activity, like a family outing, might ease tension.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s dishing out a platter of spicy takes on this dad’s flirtation fantasies, with cheers for the daughter’s blunt truth and jabs at his overblown ego—sink your teeth into these bold bites!

sweetquarantine − NTA It may have been harsh, but it sounds like subtlety wouldn’t work. Your Dad has... issues.

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Practical_Heart7287 − I’m going NTA. Why do mean, especially older ones think that everyone that talks to them or is polite is hitting on them? Massive ego. Tell him the waitress is just doing her job and being polite and friendly because IT’S PART OF HER JOB. Ask him if he thinks that if people he engages with are n**ty and rude then that means they think he’s ugly.. He sure has warped sense of common decency and politeness.

murder-she-yote − Ughhhhh NTA here we go: As a flight attendant (or in the language gross old men understand STEWARDESS) I can go on and on and on about creepy old men who are stuck in this “Mad Men” mindset. The days of “coffee, tea, or me” is over, if it ever even existed.

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I’m smiling and being nice because I am trying to make it a nice flight and not for LITERALLY any other reason. I am a union member and I get paid exactly the same whether I’m chirpy, baseline polite or even curt so it is LITERALLY just a courtesy I extend to be professional and make passengers’ experience more pleasant.

And when old, clearly-married guys hit on me even AFTER I tell them I’m married (I do wear a ring btw) it makes my blood BOIL. And don’t get my started on the “hand on the lower back to move through the aisle.” Somehow women and non-skeevy guys don’t seem to have any trouble navigating the aisle without touching me.

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MadWifeUK − INFO Is this something he's done all his life or is this a recent thing? My thinking is that if it's recent, and given your dad's age, it could be an early sign of dementia. Dementia isn't always about getting forgetful, a change in personality and loosing inhibitions can be early signs.

If he's always been like this then you do need to remind him that there's no way in hell that a 20something waitress would be hitting on a 70 year old man, especially with his family present.. Edit: Thanks for the awards!! I'm very grateful! Xx

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PotentialityKnocks − NTA. It sounds like a harsh truth he needed to hear, especially since his n**cissism/homophobia might be interfering with his ability to conduct business

jeansareformalwear − Lmao because my dad is like this. We are in no contact, so I don't have to deal with it, but he has this weird idea that everyone is interested in him. Anyway... NTA. You didn't actually say he was ugly, just told him the truth and he didn't like it. He needed a dose of reality, what he does from here is up to him.

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lainmelle − NTA. It sounds like you've tried to gently explain this before and he didn't listen. Sometimes you have to be blunt after in order to get something across. And thinking people have a crush on you at that age is just.....weird and immature imo.

Plus that's a toxic environment for the waitresses I'm betting. I have worked as a barista and overly interested 60 year olds are sadly not that uncommon and made me super uncomfortable myself.

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GloryIV − NTA, but you could have been a little more tactful. Are you sure your dad is entirely in his right mind? Has he always done this or did it start relatively recently? I would be concerned that this is happening due to some cognitive decline on his part if he hasn't always been like this. A trip to the doctor is probably warranted. What does your mom say?

Resse811 − Dear god NTA. I think most women and girls have had *at least* one experience where a guy acted like our politeness is a sign of desire. It’s gross, uncomfortable and unwanted. It makes for an awkward situation, especially if the women/girl is at work and the man is a customer.

JTudent − NTA. What a narcissist.

These are Reddit’s juiciest servings, but do they plate up the full flavor of family friction and fragile pride?

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This saga of a daughter’s sharp reality check and a dad’s wounded ego is a vivid reminder that truth can sting, especially when pride’s on the line. Reddit’s NTA applause crowns her stand against his delusions, while his sulking hints at deeper issues. It’s a lesson in balancing honesty with care when a loved one’s self-image skews reality. How would you handle a relative who sees romance in every smile? Drop your thoughts below—let’s untangle this family knot with some clarity!

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