AITA for telling my half sister I don’t think she’s gonna make it through med school, after she said my doctorate means nothing?

In the warm glow of a bustling restaurant, a celebration for a young woman’s med school acceptance takes a sharp turn. The 31-year-old guest, a doctorate holder, notices her place card reads “Miss” instead of “Dr.,” unlike other non-medical PhDs. When she casually points it out to her half-sister Sharon, the guest of honor, a tense exchange erupts.

Sharon’s dismissal of her sister’s hard-earned title as “not a real doctor” stings, igniting a fiery retort that questions Sharon’s med school grit. What starts as a festive night unravels into a clash of pride, family ties, and professional respect, revealing old wounds in a fractured sibling bond.

‘AITA for telling my half sister I don’t think she’s gonna make it through med school, after she said my doctorate means nothing?’

I (31f) have a half sister Sharon (25f). Sharon and I were never super close as I spent most of my time with my dad, and my mom, step dad and Sharon were a 'proper family' while I just became the other kid. I didn't mind much because again, I preferred staying with my dad anyway but he sadly passed when I was 16.

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I'm kind of low contact with my family now, but I usually get invited to family events and see them there, and we talk/message occasionally. Also, I have a doctorate so my title is Dr (important to the issue). There was a big party last night for Sharon recently getting into med school.

It was at a restaurant and there were place cards with everyone's names on the tables, they all said {title} {full name}. I noticed my card said Miss, but I didn't say anything then. Later when I was talking to Sharon, I just said 'oh by the way, I think you might have messed up my card, I'm Dr not Miss'.

Sharon said I'm not a real doctor, to which I replied I have a doctorate so I also go by Dr . She then said it's not really the same thing. I said again, people who have doctorates are also referred to as doctor even if they're not in the medical field. Sharon then said I was 'undermining her achievement' and med school is a lot harder, so my doctorate means nothing.

I got mad at her constant jabbing, so I told her, 'if you seriously think calling someone else doctor is undermining your achievement, I don't think you're gonna make it through med school'. She sort of huffed and left to talk to someone else.

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I assume she must have told my mom and step dad about it, because at the end of the night they came up to me and said I was really rude to Sharon and I 'didn't need to be jealous' (I'm not, but okay). I was just trying to defend myself, but maybe I went too far. AITA?

ETA: Hi, I've been replying this a few times in the comments so I thought I'd put it here for some more context. I didn't care what it said on the card, I don't expect anyone to call me Dr outside a professional setting. I noticed some other guests, who I know have non-medical doctorates with Dr on their cards, so I just asked her. It wasn't a big deal until she started saying I don't deserve a Dr title because I'm not a real doctor, which is when I snapped.

ETA #2: I've been reading through the comments and I'm taking into account all the different responses, and I value everyone's opinions. However, I've been receiving some messages and comments saying that my degree doesn't hold value in front of an actual doctor and it's not important enough to be addressed as doctor.

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Someone actually sent me a message that said that I probably f*cked my way through college and am now jealous that Sharon is getting a proper degree. I know this is the internet and people are allowed to voice their opinions, this is a judgement sub after all, but please don't send me horrible messages like this.

This sibling spat at a celebratory dinner exposes the friction of professional pride and family dynamics. The original poster’s doctorate, a testament to years of rigorous research, was dismissed by her half-sister Sharon as “not a real doctor,” revealing a common misconception about academic titles. Dr. John Beiter, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, notes, “Siblings often compete for validation, and dismissing achievements can stem from insecurity or rivalry.” Sharon’s jab likely reflects her need to elevate her med school path, but it alienated her sister.

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The slight—omitting “Dr.” on the place card when others were correctly titled—suggests either oversight or intentional disrespect. Research shows 70% of sibling conflicts in adulthood stem from perceived favoritism or unequal recognition, often amplified in blended families like this one. Sharon’s claim that the poster’s doctorate “means nothing” compared to med school betrays a narrow view, ignoring the unique rigor of a PhD, which involves original research and peer-reviewed contributions.

Dr. Beiter’s insight applies: validating each other’s achievements builds stronger bonds. The poster’s retort, questioning Sharon’s med school resilience, was a defensive snap, escalating the tension. For others in similar clashes, a calm assertion of one’s accomplishments while acknowledging the other’s can defuse conflict. Journaling or family mediation could help address underlying resentment. This story highlights a broader issue: mutual respect is key in blended families. How can siblings honor each other’s paths without diminishing them?

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users dove in with spicy takes and sharp support, slicing through the family drama with gusto. Here’s what they had to say:

splbm - NTA You don't have to be an actual medical doctor in order to have the title 'doctor' because of the association with a doctorate. Sounds like Sharon doesn't understand college degrees by just reading this.

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Edit #1: Holy cow, even though I am sick I didn’t imagine this would blow up like it did. Thank you for the upvotes guys! This made my day.. Edit #2: Changed some grammar and whatnot, clarified some things more.. Edit #3: Whoever has given me award(s), thank you.

xbrixe - I’m gonna say NTA only because everyone else had Dr. On their name things as appropriate. Personally, I think you could’ve said something much more devastating, too. So while that contributes to not being the a**hole, if she wanted to be petty you gotta out petty her!

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Franz_Lisp - NTA. I was about to go with ESH, but then you added the crucial detail that the cards of other PhD holders included the “Dr” title.. That was either a complete brain fart on the organizer’s part or a petty slight from your sister.

That said, Sharon might have held back her snarky (and inaccurate) response, if you had found an even more lighthearted or humorous way to bring it up. Can’t think of a disarmingly witty/self-deprecating quip, but maybe other Redditors can…

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NorthImpossible8906 - NTA as a phd in physics, I like to remind everyone that I'm a real doctor, and those other folks are mere MDs. lol. Earning a PhD is a much higher accomplishment, it means you literally advanced the field.

You expanded our knowledge of the subject. You performed original research by yourself, and it was peer reviewed and accepted.. PhD is not merely a teacher, it means you created/discovered new knowledge.

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Prestigious_Isopod72 - You're NTA. It's clear that your 'family' will never see it that way, however, since Sharon is the golden child who can do no wrong.

Emmiburr - NTA. Either Sharon isn't isn't sharpest tool in the shed and doesn't understand the tittle of doctor doesn't just apply to the medical field, OR she was blatantly being disrespectful. I'm thinking it's the latter. And your right, she won't make it thru med school if she has that way of thinking.

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SageOfCats - NTA, especially based on the fact that she gave other people their proper title and did not use yours. That said, were there any other patterns you could see in who was correctly labeled as a doctor? For example, did she give all the men with doctorates the correct title and none of the women?

swiftaw77 - Historically “Doctor” means teacher, so PHD’s are actually more “Doctors” than MDs, who are really “Physicians”

Flashy-Promise-6915 - I’ll bite. My SO is a Dr. PhD so cannot prescribe paracetamol but is a total White Hat. SO spent years working on the doctorate - independent research into a topic never researched before. A good doctorate is a mammoth task and SO bloody deserved to fly through the viva with vibrant colours.

It’s a bloody achievement and whilst you didn’t expect people to say hello Dr OP, Sharon has admitted this wasn’t reflected in your name place due to her reasoning. The two Dr’s are not alike but both a huge things to attain for different reasons - PhD and medical college takes huge amounts of work. Your step-sister is the AH here as she is belittling what work you have done.

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And it is an epic thing to have been awarded and the it’s the fact that she has admitted this was the reason is why NTA. Your family however are AH for sidelining your Doctorate. They should pull up Sharon for her intentional slight.

BTW my children’s Godparent is a medical doctor. But hell hath no fury if you refer to Godmother as a doctor. She’s a surgeon and therefore a Miss which takes even more epic amounts exams and work (RCS)

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ACam574 - As someone with a doctorate who works with a lot of MDs and aspiring MDs...this a common attitude. Lots of AHs in the medical field (lots of good people too). I have lots of people who refuse to call me 'doctor' because I am 'not a real doctor' insist I call them it.

Lots of them are dependent on me to analyze their projects success (it's a requirement where we work they actively work in projects that advance medical knowledge or community care and evaluate the success of their work). This attitude as backfired on lots of them as I am in demand and can prioritize whichever projects I want within reason.

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Many doctors have received evaluations saying their projects are terrible within days of the deadline. One even refused to read it and had me present my findings that he wasted $400,000 to his boss (edit: which was a shock to him when he attended that presentation...

a good portion of that $400,000 was his salary so I am sure you can guess how that ended). It's not worth being a jerk to others. Medical doctors are glorified mechanics for human bodies not gods. Btw mechanic s are highly skilled individuals do that's not an insult.. NTA

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These Reddit hot takes are bold, but do they fully unpack the tangle of sibling rivalry and professional pride?

This fiery exchange at a med school celebration lays bare the sting of sibling rivalry and the fight for respect in a blended family. The original poster’s defense of her doctorate clashed with her half-sister’s dismissal, raising questions about mutual validation. How do siblings navigate professional pride without tearing each other down? If someone belittled your hard-earned achievements, how would you respond? Share your stories—let’s discuss how to foster respect in families where old divides linger.

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