AITA for telling my son to get over it?
In a quiet suburban home, the air grew thick with tension as a family dinner turned into a battleground of old wounds. Jared, a 30-year-old man with a guarded smile, sat across from his teenage sister, Jada, whose carefree chatter about boyfriends and trips stirred a storm in his heart. Their parents, once strapped for cash but now comfortably settled, faced a reckoning as Jared’s simmering resentment boiled over, challenging the harmony of their blended family.
The clash revealed a raw truth: childhood disparities can cast long shadows. Jared’s grievances, rooted in a stricter, leaner upbringing compared to Jada’s cushy teenage years, sparked a heated exchange that left everyone reeling. Readers can’t help but wonder—can a parent’s past limitations justify a grown child’s lingering pain?
‘AITA for telling my son to get over it?’
Jared’s tale of resentment is a classic case of sibling rivalry meeting unresolved childhood pain. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes, “Unacknowledged feelings in families can fester, creating distance where connection is needed” (source: Gottman Institute). Jared’s hurt stems from perceived favoritism—his strict upbringing versus Jada’s freer, more affluent one. While the parents’ financial struggles were real, their dismissive response to Jared’s feelings deepened the rift.
This situation reflects a broader issue: adopted children often grapple with feelings of being “less than” compared to biological siblings. A 2019 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 30% of adopted children report feelings of inequity in parental treatment (source: APA Journals). Jared’s reaction, though sharp, is a cry for validation, not just about money but about emotional fairness.
Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes active listening. The parents could validate Jared’s feelings by acknowledging past mistakes without defensiveness. Inviting him to family activities, like the trip, was a start, but it needed genuine empathy, not a quick fix. Open dialogue, perhaps through family therapy, could help mend this fracture.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of empathy and tough love. Here’s what the community had to say:
![[Reddit User] − YTA. Why didn’t you include him in this trip? You need to be more sensitive to your older son’s feelings instead of calling him names and telling him to get over it. Sounds like you definitely favor your bio daughter over your adopted son, and he knows it.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/229845cmt-01.png)
![[Reddit User] − YTA. Not because your financial circumstances changed. But because it sounds like you were really controlling and overbearing with your oldest and haven’t sufficiently apologized. And when he lashes out, you invalidate his experience.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/229845cmt-14.png)
These hot takes from Reddit are spicy, but do they cut to the core of Jared’s pain, or are they just fanning the flames?
Jared’s story reminds us that family bonds, though resilient, can strain under the weight of unspoken hurts. The parents’ improved circumstances couldn’t erase Jared’s tough childhood, but their dismissal of his feelings widened the gap. Can empathy bridge such divides, or is time the only healer? What would you do if you were caught in this family tug-of-war? Share your thoughts below!
