AITA for refusing to babysit?

The aroma of roasted turkey and pumpkin pie fills the air at a friend’s lively Thanksgiving gathering, but for one 28-year-old woman, the holiday takes a sour turn. Surrounded by a gaggle of kids under 10, she’s hit with an unexpected request: babysit the little ones so their parents can catch a break. As a childfree-by-choice guest, she politely declines, sparking eye-rolls and accusations of selfishness. Suddenly, her holiday plate is piled high with guilt instead of gravy.

This festive fiasco dives into the tension between personal boundaries and societal pressure. The woman’s firm “no” to wrangling kids, including a 3-month-old she’s not equipped to handle, stirs up drama among the parents. It’s a relatable clash that asks: does being childfree mean you’re obligated to play nanny on a holiday? Readers will feel the heat of this Thanksgiving standoff.

‘AITA for refusing to babysit?’

I 28F was invited for Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house. There will be lots of kids there (probably about 10 at least all under the age of 10. Youngest is 3 months) and their parents will also be there. I'm childfree by choice.

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I was asked to help with the kids that day and I said no. Their parents plus a lot of other people will be there so I don't see a point. Just because I'm childfree doesn't mean that I wanna help with kids and babysit for free on a holiday. Plus I'm not good with newborns.

Some of the people are saying I'm TA because I'm not giving the parents a break for one day (🙄). My thing is those are their kids so it's their responsibility and just because I'm CF doesn't mean I'm obligated to give up my holiday.. So AITA?

This Thanksgiving tussle highlights the unfair expectations often placed on childfree individuals. Dr. Ellen Walker, a clinical psychologist, notes, “People without children are frequently seen as ‘available’ for caregiving, which dismisses their own choices” . The OP’s refusal to babysit wasn’t about shirking kindness but protecting her holiday experience. The parents’ pushback reflects a sense of entitlement, assuming her childfree status equals free labor.

The issue ties to a broader trend: about 44% of childfree adults report feeling pressured to assist with others’ kids, per a 2022 Pew Research study . The OP’s discomfort with newborns and her desire to enjoy the holiday as a guest, not a nanny, are valid. The parents’ call for a “break” overlooks their responsibility, especially with other adults present.

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Dr. Walker suggests “assertive boundary-setting” to maintain personal space. The OP’s clear refusal was appropriate, though a softer tone might’ve eased tensions. For readers, this underscores the importance of respecting everyone’s choices at gatherings. The OP could reinforce her stance by calmly explaining she’s there to celebrate, not work.

To navigate similar situations, hosts should clarify expectations before events, and guests should feel empowered to say no. The OP’s stand reminds us that holidays are for everyone to enjoy, not just parents. This story invites reflection on how we balance generosity with personal boundaries.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew dove into this holiday drama like it was a buffet of hot takes, serving up support with a side of snark. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community, brimming with cheers and a few zingers:

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Kris82868 − NTA. Babysitting kids when their parents are around? I don't get the necessity and it isn't your duty to give them a break.

StruckeyHasLoxed − To paraphrase one of my favorite sayings, “poor planning on their part does not constitute a babysitting emergency on your part.”. NTA. Live your life!!

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Protowhale − NTA. Why should childfree people be forced to give up their holiday because parents 'need a break?' Sounds like you were invited as a babysitter, not as a guest. If I were in that situation, I would present them with an invoice for babysitting fees. Make it $20 per hour per child. $200/hr for as long as they were hoping to make you watch the kids, payable in advance.

firefly232 − Some of the people are saying I'm TA because I'm not giving the parents a break for one day. Did they invite you to dinner as a friend who's company they value?. Or are they hiring you as a babysitter, to be paid with a plate of food and no alcohol?. It should be the former, and it feels like the latter.. NTA

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Dilly_Dally4 − NTA. It's annoying when parents expect others to care for their children. Can they ask politely? Sure. Should they be upset when the answer is no? That's unreasonable of them.

RubyDiscus − NTA sounds like they just want to use you as a free baby sitter

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BarryBlitter − NTA. I often wonder if people who post here show the responses to the people involved. Hope so. These parents sound f**king entitled

AithneF − NTA. They're celebrating as a family, they can all look after the kids as a family. You're not obligated to be the sole person to watch and take care of children that are not yours. As for being called an a**hole because you 'won't give the parents a break' ?? As another commented here, were you invited as a friend?. Those people do NOT sound like friends.

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corgwin − NTA. You want a break, too! You likely have the day off work, why would you spend it babysitting? If the parents want a break, they need to *hire* a babysitter rather than expecting the CF females to provide free babysitting. A friend invited you and then expects you to babysit? Ummm... not sure this is a group I'd want to hang out with anyway.

princessbeatrix1923 − NTA, I get why they asked for help but you obviously have every right to say no. Enjoy your holiday! I used to get stuck watching kids every Thanksgiving when I was a teenager--people just assume girls will handle kids, it's so insulting. One year a cousin of mine just walked up and handed me a baby. Who does that?

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These Redditors backed the OP’s boundary-setting, slamming the parents’ entitlement while questioning the invitation’s true intent. Some saw it as a setup for free babysitting; others shared their own tales of holiday pressure. But do these spicy opinions capture the full feast, or are they just stirring the gravy?

This tale of a childfree woman standing her ground at Thanksgiving serves up a reminder that holidays aren’t a free pass to offload parenting duties. The OP’s refusal to babysit sparked drama, but it’s a bold stand for her right to enjoy the day. With parents, kids, and expectations crammed around the table, where do you draw the line on holiday obligations? What would you do if asked to play nanny at a friend’s gathering? Share your thoughts below!

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