AITA for making my daughter go to her mom’s wedding?

Under the soft glow of a wedding venue’s chandeliers, a father’s well-meaning decision turned a joyous day into a family fracture. His 16-year-old daughter, Chloe, wanted nothing to do with her mother’s wedding, citing years of neglect. But when her mom pleaded for her presence as a sign of love, the father, hoping to mend their broken bond, insisted Chloe attend, sparking a storm of resentment that lingers like an uninvited guest.

The venue buzzed with laughter and clinking glasses, but Chloe’s heart wasn’t in it. Dropped off in a dress she didn’t want to wear, she felt betrayed by her dad, her usual protector, who prioritized her mom’s feelings over hers. This tale of good intentions gone awry unravels the delicate dance of parenting a teen with a painful past and the cost of forcing family ties.

‘AITA for making my daughter go to her mom’s wedding?’

This wedding drama highlights the pitfalls of forcing family ties. The father, hoping to bridge the gap between Chloe and her mom, overlooked his daughter’s deep-seated pain. Dr. Lisa Damour, a teen psychology expert, notes, “Teenagers need to feel their boundaries are respected to build trust” . By compelling Chloe to attend, the father inadvertently signaled that her feelings were secondary.

Chloe’s resentment stems from a history of neglect—missed birthdays and a mom who treated her as a burden. At 16, she’s old enough to decide her relationships, and her refusal to attend was a boundary, not cruelty. The father’s belief that missing the wedding would cause “permanent damage” ignores the existing strain. A 2019 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that respecting teens’ autonomy strengthens parent-child bonds . Forcing Chloe risks pushing her further away.

This situation reflects broader issues of parental expectations versus teen independence. Weddings often amplify family tensions, with parents like the OP and his ex-wife craving a picture-perfect moment. But Chloe’s presence, coerced rather than chosen, likely felt hollow to her mom and humiliating to her. The father’s intent to “keep the door open” for reconciliation clashed with Chloe’s need to process her mom’s absence on her own terms.

To move forward, the father should apologize to Chloe, acknowledging her hurt, as Dr. Damour suggests, to rebuild trust. He could encourage open talks between Chloe and her mom without forcing interaction, letting Chloe set the pace. Supporting her feelings, not just her presence, could pave the way for healing.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit users overwhelmingly called the father out, arguing that forcing Chloe to attend disregarded her valid feelings about her mom’s neglect. They saw his actions as prioritizing appearances over his daughter’s emotional well-being, potentially damaging their own bond.

Many felt Chloe, at 16, deserved the right to choose, and her mom’s desire for a “show of support” seemed more about optics than genuine connection. The community agreed that relationships can’t be mended through coercion, urging the father to respect Chloe’s boundaries.

This wedding clash exposes the delicate balance of parenting a teen with a painful family history. The father’s push for Chloe to support her mom may have deepened wounds instead of healing them. How would you handle a teen’s refusal to reconnect with a distant parent? Share your thoughts below.