AITA for leaving shortly after my nephew got dropped off at our place?

Picture this: it’s your one sacred day off after a grueling six-day workweek, and you’re dreaming of a quiet coffee and maybe a nap. Suddenly, your sister swings by with your adorable 4-year-old nephew, expecting you to morph into the fun uncle/auntie on demand. That’s the pickle one Redditor found themselves in, caught between family love and a desperate need for personal space. The air was thick with unspoken expectations, leaving them wondering if they were the villain for slipping out the door.

The tension simmered in a cozy living room, where Lego bricks and family ties collided. Our Redditor, craving a breather, faced a silent standoff with their sister’s disappointed glances. Readers can’t help but feel the weight of this moment—balancing a love for a cheerful nephew with the ache for a moment’s peace. Was it selfish to choose themselves, or a fair stand for boundaries?

‘AITA for leaving shortly after my nephew got dropped off at our place?’

Okay so my sister (29) just dropped my nephew (4) off at my moms and my place. My mom had offered to babysit my nephew at my sister's house since it's my day off and she wanted me to have the place to myself to relax.

ADVERTISEMENT

This morning my sister called and told my mom that my nephew really wanted to play with the lego we have at home for when kids come over so they'd bring him here. My mom only told me about 10 minutes before they arrived and I still needed to shower so I couldn't get out of the house in time before they arrived.

A few minutes later my sister arrived and had a coffee with us before leaving. I mentioned that I'd leave in a few minutes as well and my sister didn't say anything but she was clearly irritated.. I left a few minutes after her, said bye to my nephew and everything seemed alright.

A few minutes ago I got a bunch of texts from my sister about how I'm an a**hole for just leaving and that my nephew was really looking forward to spending the day with me since my mom often doesn't care to play a lot with him. So AITA? A bit of background info btw: I work 6 days a week so this is my only day off.

Also whenever my nephew comes over after my mom offered to babysit she just spends the day on the couch on her phone while she expects me to entertain him.. I love my nephew, he's a great kid. But I really need this one day for myself. Edit: Wow I didn't expect so many people to see this, let alone comment.

ADVERTISEMENT

Thank you all so much for that! So I'm home now and I wanted to give you a little update. I got home about an 45-50 minutes before my sister picked my nephew up. I did bring him a happy meal so he was very happy to see me and not upset at all.

I also managed to talk to my sister about how I need some time for myself on my one day off and she did apologize for getting so angry at me but still says that I could've just stayed home to play. For everyone saying my sister just wanted to have time off herself I just wanted to clarify.

She actually needed someone to look after my nephew because she had to take my niece to a doctor that's over an hour away and if the doctor had bad news they wouldn't have wanted to have him there since he most likely wouldn't really get what was going on.

ADVERTISEMENT

My niece is okay though, her doctor misinterpreted her symptoms and going to the expert was just to make sure there's nothing wrong. Also my mom does play with my nephew. Just not a lot when there's someone else there who can do it.

That's the reason I left. I would've stayed home if it meant playing with my nephew for a bit and then having time for myself. I also talked to my mom about that and while she says that she gets it she started complaining about how exhausting the day was and how I could've at least helped.

ADVERTISEMENT

I told her that she was the one volunteering to babysit and not me so she shouldn't expect me to help. I don't think she really got it. So again, thank you all so much for your comments and while I didn't get to buy a loud toy I will do that if she tries to drop him off again.

Family dynamics can feel like navigating a Lego minefield—colorful, chaotic, and occasionally painful. The OP’s situation highlights a common struggle: balancing personal boundaries with familial obligations. The sister assumed OP’s availability, while the mother’s babysitting offer didn’t account for her own limited engagement. This clash of expectations left OP caught in the middle, their day off evaporating.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes in his work with the Gottman Institute, “Healthy relationships thrive on clear communication and mutual respect” .

The OP’s choice to leave reflects a stand for self-care, crucial when working six days a week. However, the sister’s perspective—wanting her son to bond with family—is valid too. The root issue is communication: nobody clarified roles beforehand. To resolve this, OP could set firm boundaries, like scheduling nephew time on less demanding days. Open dialogue, as Gottman suggests, can prevent such mix-ups, ensuring everyone’s needs are respected.

ADVERTISEMENT

For readers facing similar pressures, try calmly stating your limits upfront. Suggest alternative times to engage, showing love without sacrificing your well-being. This approach fosters understanding while keeping relationships intact.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. They rallied around the OP, with comments ranging from fist-bump affirmations to playful jabs at family entitlement. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

ADVERTISEMENT

pipedream96 − NTA. You didn't promise anyone you were going to babysit, your mom did, and you have every right to your day off. Your sister is being unreasonable, if she really wanted you to stay with her nephew she should have asked you beforehand (and even then you'd be under no obligation to say yes, your mom is already taking care of him).

Vequihellin − NTA. You did not agree to babysit - your mum did. You're not obligated to change your plans at the last minute. Your sister is being entitled and unreasonable.

ADVERTISEMENT

theKTX − NTA. Boundaries are important. Have a face to face chat with your sister and explain you need one day to yourself. You could also offer to schedule in time to see your nephew - but you don’t owe anybody this time automatically.

GonnaBeOverIt − NTA. Your sister and your mother are taking advantage of you for free babysitting.

ADVERTISEMENT

Boring_Possible_1938 − NTA. I've seen here the text 'Ask for silly things, get a silly answer'. This is a case of 'Don't ask for what you want, don't get what you wanted.' OK, you knew, and she knew probably, that you would say NO. So she just robbed you of the opportunity to say NO, and is now blaming you for not saying YES.

Critical_Product420 − NTA. It was short notice. Could arrangements be made for him to borrow the Legos or something? Your sister was wrong because it appears that there was no consideration for you when plans were diverted; like 'you have the Legos & the day off, so obviously you'll just be up to babysitting today'.

ADVERTISEMENT

sswishbone − NTA - you're not a babysitter and never agreed to be, tell her that she's the AH for assuming you'll do the job you never asked for

longhairflower − NTA. Put your narcissistic sister back in her place, you are in no way shape or form obliged to be available for her or her kid. The LEAST she could do is ask in advance if you'll be available and IF YOURE WILLING to spend x amount of time with your nephew. F**k the entitlement

No_Preparation9558 − NTA. You didn't agree to babysit nor were you the one originally asked to do so. It's rude of your sister to expect you to drop whatever you had planned or even sacrifice your only free day just to entertain your nephew.

Obsidian-Winter − NTA. You didn't offer to babysit. Your nephew wasn't your responsibility. It's sad that he missed you but you aren't his toy and you had other plans. Suggest to your sister that next time your nephew would like a play date with you that she should include you in the discussion so that you can arrange it for a time you are free (and that you have the energy to do it without draining yourself).

ADVERTISEMENT

These Redditors were all in, cheering OP’s boundary-setting or tsk-tsking the sister’s assumptions. Some saw the mother’s couch-potato babysitting as the real culprit; others urged OP to keep the lines of communication open. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just stoking the drama?

This story reminds us that family love can sometimes feel like a tug-of-war between duty and personal space. The OP’s dash for freedom sparked a debate about where to draw the line. Setting boundaries isn’t easy, but it’s a skill worth mastering. Readers, what would you do if your day off got hijacked by unexpected family duties? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you balance love for family with time for yourself?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *