AITA For telling my neighbor to get F-ed when he told me to remove my doorbell camera?

A rash of burglaries prompts a homeowner to slap a doorbell camera on his porch, nabbing thieves and reclaiming stolen goods. But when he shows the footage to neighbors, one flips out, spotting his wife in a clip and demanding the camera come down, claiming it’s creepy to keep her image. The homeowner’s blunt refusal—capped with a fiery “get F-ed”—ignites a block-wide brouhaha.

This isn’t just about a lens—it’s a clash of safety versus suspicion. Reddit backs the homeowner’s right to protect his home, eyeing the neighbor’s outburst with side-eye. Like a camera’s unblinking stare, the story zooms in on privacy, property, and the thin line between neighborly trust and nosy paranoia.

‘AITA For telling my neighbor to get F-ed when he told me to remove my doorbell camera?’

So lately, There have been a number of burglaries in the area I live in. My wife and I were among those who got burglarized and most of the stuff we lost were packages and electronics. My wife and I both work long hours so we're not home most of the time and despite taking precautions, we still are concerned for the safety of our belongings as well as other things.

ADVERTISEMENT

So I decided to get a doorbell camera which frankly has become a necessity and it's cheap to buy ($199) and easy to install. And so far we were able to catch a number of thieves in act (to my surprise some of them I knew personally and were from the area) which helped lot in getting our stuff back. Onto the issue:

So my neighbor and I were discussing this with few other neighbors and I showed him a video that was taking by the camera to explain how we were able to identify the individuals who tried to steal stuff. I was fastforward-ing the footage but He suddenly freaked out and pointed at his wife who was at the door to visit my wife.

I was confused when he asked how long I been keeping this video/and if I made copies of it. He then proceeded to tell me it did not feel right to see his wife being recorded by the doorbell cam and the fact that I didn't get rid of this part since it had nothing to do with catching the thieves made him unconfortable.

I apologized for any misunderstanding and promised that it had nothing to do with his wife we had few people stand at our door who were shown on our cam so I wasn't just his wife. He cut the conversation and left. Then came back in the evening to ask for how long I will be keeping this camera.

ADVERTISEMENT

I asked why and he said he wasn't sure about his wife being recorded and asked me to remove it. I said no then he suggested I install one inside but I still said no. He got all pissed and said that I was acting inappropriately and mean after he came to me with his concerns expecting me to understand that he doesnt want me having 'footages' of his wife.

I told him his wife can stop coming over if he was so worried but he went on about never telling his wife what to do or where to go.. He insisted I remove the cam but I told him to get. F-ed and never bring this up again.

He left and got others involved, they told me I should be more considerate of my neighbors feelings and understand where he's coming from but I stood my ground and refused to remove the camera. My wife thinks I was being a jerk to our neighbor and his wife and have some respect for them but I don't think I was being disrespectful. Was I?.

ADVERTISEMENT

The homeowner’s refusal to remove the doorbell camera is justified, prioritizing his family’s safety amid proven burglary threats over a neighbor’s vague discomfort. The neighbor’s intense reaction—fixating on his wife’s brief footage—suggests personal insecurity or projection, not a valid privacy concern, especially since the camera only records public-facing areas.

A 2023 study in Journal of Urban Affairs found that 68% of homeowners use security cameras due to rising property crime, with minimal privacy disputes when limited to their property (Taylor & Francis, 2023). Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Overreactions to neutral situations often stem from unaddressed fears or guilt” (Gottman.com). The neighbor’s escalation and rallying others hint at deeper issues, not the homeowner’s actions.

ADVERTISEMENT

The homeowner’s harsh language, while provoked, fueled the feud unnecessarily. Reddit’s NTA verdict supports his property rights but overlooks the neighbor’s possible emotional triggers.

He should install a sign noting camera surveillance to deter thieves and clarify intent (ADT.com). A calm follow-up with the neighbor, explaining the camera’s necessity, might de-escalate. If tensions persist, a neighborhood watch group could align community safety goals.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s zooming in with hot takes on this camera clash, dishing out shade and spicy theories—grab a front-row seat for the drama!

RoseTyler38 − That's a very strong reaction for someone who is 100% innocent. Think about it OP. My spicy senses are telling me he plans on stealing your stuff soon and is just upset that you can catch thieves. He's making up bs excuses for you removing your camera. NTA. I would figure out a way to imply to him that his strong reaction seems sus to you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Veridical_Perception − NTA. As you pointed out, if he's concerned about his wife being on camera, she doesn't need to come over. Also, realistically, dude needs to realize that we are all filmed every day when out in public. Stores, streets, anywhere in public is now filmed with security cameras.

I find it ridiculous that people think that making unreasonable demands under the guise of 'needing to understand where they're coming from' has become de rigueur, not to mention his actual concern is just flat out nutty, paranoid, and a bit creepy - what does he think you're doing with the footage?

ADVERTISEMENT

warmgreyverylight − I think it's very telling that he said 'I don't tell my wife what to do' as a response to your perfectly reasonable suggestion that his wife not come over if it's a concern. Not because he should be telling his wife what to do, obviously! But his answer means that he's not leaving it up to his wife to decide what to do about it.

He may not even have told her. To him, you having footage of his wife is a concern to *him*—for himself, not for his wife's sake.. So, yeah. He's a creep who thinks he owns his wife and all images of her. Obviously, you have a right to have this device on your own porch, and they can just not come over if they don't like it. NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. But what did he mean by:. he suggested I install one inside Does he want you to install a camera facing into your house to stop people from stealing outside your house?

donnyganger − NTA at all. The neighbor is. I think mentioning that she doesn’t have to come over anymore was a good call. If you’ve already caught people on the camera, it’s clearly worth it to have it up. Maybe this guy has something to hide..... ooooh the plot thickens.

ADVERTISEMENT

I’m wondering how he explained it to other people and why they would be on his side. “GUYS HE WAS FILMING MY WIFE. NO, SHE WAS ON THEIR PORCH- BUT STILL! FRICKIN JERK RIGHT??”

SweetPotatoFamished − NTA. I would have told his wife myself. “Hey neighbor! I hate to have to request this, but I need you to never come to my house again. Your husband is uncomfortable with you being recorded by our doorbell camera. The thought of not having the camera makes me uncomfortable, and I believe this is the only compromise.”

ADVERTISEMENT

theDagman − NTA. Your neighbor was expressing his jealousy. In his mind, you having any footage of his wife means that you will be using it to... relieve your pent up desires (trying to be delicate here)? Which really tells you more about your neighbor than you wanted to know. As it sounds like he's projecting any motive that he'd have for having footage of a neighbor's wife onto you.

MGDarion − NTA. It’s not like you’re surveilling his wife, and you have a very legitimate reason for having it. He started a fight over nothing.

tnscatterbrain − NTA. That’s an unusual reaction to some innocent doorbell footage, especially when he knew what it was for. Those camera are very common, along with cameras in lots of other places.

TheCaveEV − NTA. I see a lot of comments about them being thieves, but this to me just reads as a man being unreasonably controlling of his wife. He doesn't want you to have 'footage' of his wife because he probably thinks you're going to do something s**ual with it.

ADVERTISEMENT

To me it's the same energy as not wanting women to have male friends because they don't trust them- he probably creeps on other women and is paranoid about men doing it to his wife. I'd pay attention to how he acts around the women in the neighborhood- seems like he's projecting, he's probably a creep.

These are Reddit’s sharpest angles, but do they capture the full frame of safety versus suspicion?

ADVERTISEMENT

This saga of a doorbell cam and a neighbor’s meltdown is a sharp reminder that protecting your home can stir up more than just thieves. Reddit cheers the homeowner’s stand, casting shade on the neighbor’s bizarre demands. It’s a lesson in securing your space without sparking a street war. What would you do if a neighbor freaked over your security setup? Spill your thoughts below—let’s rewind this neighborhood showdown!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *