AITA for giving my late partner’s girlfriend anything despite her basically working for me for free for years?

A woman’s world shifts when her partner dies, leaving their three kids and a tangled web of unspoken arrangements. For years, Mary, his girlfriend in their open relationship, quietly cleaned their home and cared for their children, assuming a wife-like role without her knowledge. Now, Mary demands payment for her unasked labor, screaming betrayal, but the woman stands firm, saying it wasn’t her deal.

This isn’t just about money—it’s a knot of love, loss, and blurred lines. Her refusal to pay, rooted in separate finances and no contract, wins Reddit’s nod but stirs unease about fairness. Like a house too clean to question, the story probes the cost of silent help and the debts we owe in grief’s shadow.

‘AITA for giving my late partner’s girlfriend anything despite her basically working for me for free for years?’

The woman’s refusal to pay Mary is legally sound, as no agreement existed, and Mary’s work was voluntary, aimed at her partner, not her. However, Mary’s significant contributions—40+ hours weekly of childcare and chores—raise ethical questions about unacknowledged labor, especially in a complex open relationship dynamic.

A 2023 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 62% of disputes in non-traditional relationships stem from unclear expectations around roles (Sage Journals, 2023). Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, a polyamory expert, notes, “Unspoken assumptions in open relationships can lead to resentment when contributions go unrecognized” (ElisabethSheff.com). Mary’s bid to “prove” herself likely fueled her efforts, but the woman’s ignorance of the extent absolves her of direct responsibility.

Mary’s public outburst and the woman’s detachment—barely addressing the kids’ bond with Mary—complicate the moral landscape. Reddit’s NTA stance supports her legal right, but some rightly flag her emotional distance.

She should consider a one-time gesture, like a small sum for Mary’s efforts, to ease tension without admitting liability (PsychologyToday.com). Therapy could help her and the kids process Mary’s role. A clear discussion with Mary about boundaries might prevent further conflict.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s serving up a hot mess of takes on this domestic drama, with sharp jabs and a pinch of unease—brace for the spicy fallout!

These are Reddit’s boldest cuts, but do they slice through the tangle of grief and gratitude?

This tale of a widow’s stand and a girlfriend’s unpaid toil is a raw lesson in navigating love’s hidden labors. Reddit backs the woman’s refusal to pay, but Mary’s unthanked efforts linger like dust in a too-clean house. It’s a reminder that open hearts can breed murky debts. What would you do if someone demanded payment for help you never requested? Drop your thoughts below—let’s unravel this messy knot!