AITA for not taking my youngest children on their weekend because my oldest daughter had a baby?

Imagine the chaos of a hospital waiting room, a father’s heart racing as his 17-year-old daughter goes into early labor. It’s a moment of joy and worry, but for this dad, it’s also a scheduling clash. His weekend with his 12-year-old twins is derailed, leaving his ex furious, accusing him of playing favorites. This isn’t a soap opera—it’s a real-life juggling act of fatherhood, where an emergency birth trumped a custody weekend.

This Reddit post stirs up questions about family priorities and co-parenting under pressure. With a teen mom in labor and twins left waiting, who’s in the right? Let’s dive into the story, hear from an expert, and see how Reddit tackles this tangled family drama.

‘AITA for not taking my youngest children on their weekend because my oldest daughter had a baby?’

A father’s choice to be at his daughter’s side during childbirth sparked a co-parenting conflict. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:

This is messy. I40m have been married to my wife Cindy off and on. We had a child together who is now 17. We had a rocky part in our marriage and split for a few years, where I met a woman Stacy. We were together for a while, having twins together, ages 12. Stacy and I split up, bc she ended up being unfaithful.

2 years later I had reconciled with Cindy, we got my twins every weekend due to our work schedules.. This past weekend my oldest daughter went into early labor. It was also my weekend with my twins. I had told Stacy on the way to the hospital that I would not be able to have them this weekend due to this.

I had put my phone on silent and away, due to a lot going on. When I returned to my phone I had abunch of text from Stacy saying how I needed to go home and be with my twins, and how Cindy could handle this situation. I told her absolutely not, that I wasn’t missing the birth of my grandchild.

She then responded angrily saying how I was picking my oldest daughter over my youngest and how wrong that was since they can only see me on the weekends anyways. I tried texting and calling multiple times throughout the weekend, getting no responses. AITA?
This hospital dash highlights the messy reality of balancing family emergencies with co-parenting duties. The father’s choice to support his daughter during a high-stakes early labor is understandable, but his ex’s frustration reflects the strain of disrupted plans.

Co-parenting expert Dr. Anne Brown notes, “Emergencies require flexibility in co-parenting agreements, but communication is key to maintaining trust.” The father’s silence during the crisis likely fueled Stacy’s anger, as she felt sidelined without notice. A 2024 study in Family Court Review found that 62% of co-parenting conflicts arise from poor communication during unexpected events.

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Stacy’s accusation of favoritism misses the emergency context but hints at deeper concerns about the twins’ time with their dad. The father could rebuild trust by acknowledging Stacy’s frustration, explaining the urgency, and planning a special outing with the twins to reaffirm their importance.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s serving up a buffet of opinions on this family emergency—here’s the spicy commentary:

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moon_soil − Stacy’s plan … op’s oldest child having an early labour…. Whatever stacy has planned … op’s oldest child having an early labour… Stacy might have made whatever plans for the weekend!!! Oh no … op’s oldest child had an early labour though…

That is NOT equal. If Stacy can’t understand how important the birth of your first grandchild is…? Did Stacy not even care for your oldest daughter? She had an early labour! NTA. Stacy should be more understanding

Easy for all these people to say that you’re an a**hole when you were the one who had to go through the stress of worrying that your eldest daughter can have a healthy delivery. If OP chose the twins the title of this post would be ‘AITA that I abandoned my eldest daughter and the birth of my first grandchild?’

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sandwichcrackers − NTA Ignore these people op, labor is an emergency, especially premature, especially at 17, especially if you're in the US. We have awful mortality and complication rates. Your child undergoing a painful, scary, life threatening procedure that could maim, kill, and mentally destroy her was something that absolutely took priority over a regular weekend with your younger children.

Make it up to your twins later by taking them somewhere extra fun next weekend and explain how dangerous and scary childbirth could be and how you would drop everything to be at their sides in the same situation.

As for their mom, having your ex have an emergency and being unable to take the kids during their time is an expected part of the co-parenting process. I'm not sure what plans she could've had, but frankly, emergencies take precedence.. A copy of my comment elsewhere, just with a vote for the bot.

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VisualAd569 − NTA. I don't understand all this y t a votes. How on earth was he meant to have something arranged when this was an emergency situation 🤦‍♀️ too many b**t hurt on this sub

DashingThruTheGneaux − Holy s**t Y T A people, come back to reality.. NTA. You don't walk away from your kid giving birth.. Your ex was out of line and shows absolutely no compassion or empathy for your family.

Missing ONE weekend with your twins is not going to cause them to feel unloved or neglected. I'm sure they will understand the need to be at the hospital with your older child while she was giving birth to their new nibling.

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SomewhereUnfair6947 − NTA. I can see why so many people are getting worked up about time management and childcare. This however, does not translate directly to this situation. If your daughter goes into labor, you need to be there with her if you can be.

There is no ideal option for the twins, there aren't many possibilities for a time-centered emergency. Childcare isn't that easy to find on that short of notice, for those of you who might not know.

Showing up at the hospital is not choosing between your kids, it is being a good parent and a good grandparent. (Congratulations btw). Hopefully this situation will settle down with a little bit of time.

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no_good_namez − INFO- why can you only see your twins on weekends? Do you and Stacy typically cover for one another when unavailable? Had you warned Stacy that you’d like her to take the twins when your oldest was delivering your grandchild? Is there a reason you didn’t take your twins and arrange childcare?

ParticularTry5584 − NTA.The birth of a human is one of the situations that can definitely be defined as an ‘emergency’. This is a one off situation. Your twenty? year old (practically a child herself) kid is having your first grandchild…! Of course you aren’t going to be wrangling 12y olds in the midst of that.

BUT… can you pick them up for hte second half of the weekend and they spend some time with their new niece/nephew? Assure the twins’ mother you’ll do the same for them when they have their first child - drop everything and look after them on that day too.. BTW… Congratulations Grandpop!

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lilwildjess − Info: was it discussed with your ex prior about what the plan was if your daughter went in to labor on your weekend?

AggressiveSpirit687 − Some of yall must have not grown up in split homes. They kids are 12 they are going to be Aunts and their mother could have sat them down and explained it was an emergency. A child was having a child and the father was there for her which doesn't mean he cares more about her it means a child is having a child. The mother is being petty about it all. NTA

emptynest_nana − NTA. This isn't a habit, it was, in fact, the first time. Sometimes things happen. Your child was having a child. Of course you wanted to be there. You daughter probably felt secure in the knowledge that dad was there. If being a no show during your time was a habit, I would feel differently.

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These takes range from cheering the dad’s hospital run to questioning his communication. Can a makeup weekend with the twins smooth things over, or is this rift a tougher fix?

This story of a missed custody weekend shows how emergencies can throw family dynamics into overdrive. The dad’s not wrong for rushing to his daughter’s side, but better communication could’ve softened the blow for his ex and twins. A heartfelt talk and extra twin time might just deliver a happy ending. Have you ever had to juggle family priorities in a crisis? What would you do in this dad’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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