AITA: roommate leaves homeless people alone at our house without telling us and I kick them out?

A weekend camping trip ends in shock for a young couple when they return to their university home to find a stranger and her coughing daughter sprawled across their living room, invited by their freshman roommate without a word. The unannounced guest, citing fragrance allergies, tosses out their soaps and demands a candle-free house, turning their cozy sanctuary into a battleground of boundaries.

This isn’t just a roommate blunder—it’s a chaotic clash of compassion and control. The man’s decision to send the guest packing, despite her plight, stirs guilt but wins Reddit’s nod for protecting his home. Like a door slammed shut in the rain, the story dives into the messy balance of kindness and house rules, leaving us to question where generosity ends and responsibility begins.

‘AITA: roommate leaves homeless people alone at our house without telling us and I kick them out?’

So my (24m) gf (23) and I live in a house with two other girls during university and one of our new roommates is a freshman and doesn't seem to be following the rules in the contract and just poorly communicating in general. It's my girlfriends place and she is the landlord/owner basically.

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The first week of class she brought a stray cat home from campus and it was running around scratching up the house and harassing our other two cats and potentially exposing them to some feral cat illnesses I'm sure. We made her find the cat another home and she kind of scoffed but did it. Then she leveled up.

We went camping for a weekend and on Sunday after a long drive back we arrive to a strange woman (30ish) in our house and her small and obviously sick (coughing everywhere) daughter(5ish). Their clothes are all over the living room and boxes of food and kitchen gear are in the kitchen spread out all over the place.

I confront the woman and ask her who she is and what she's doing in our house and she explains that she's been kicked out and cannot hold a job because of her allergies to all fragrances, so our roommate said she could live here for A WHILE. I told her they could stay for the night but that our roommate had not told us about the situation.

Our roommate didn't even ask or tell us this person and her young daughter would be here or stay with us. She had also been leaving this person none of us knew very well alone at the house. Since she's allergic to fragrance she threw out all of our normal soaps and smelly anything's.

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We went to make dinner and she started trying to micromanage what we did in OUR kitchen. After dinner, my girlfriend wanted to relax and lit a candle in our room. Big mistake. Five minutes later our guest pounds on the door and asks us to please blow it out and that she is going to get a migraine from the candle fragrance.

She starts opening doors and windows. It's cold as hell outside and raining even and the house is big and expensive to heat. After grabbing our cats she let out when freaking out I close the doors and tell her a fan and windows will have to do.

She continues to freak out and my girlfriend is bawling in our room because of this stranger shaking up our Sunday evening. Our roommate is still nowhere to be found, and won't reply to our messages. So I tell her that she has to leave. We aren't in a place where we can support you and your needs and this house isn't an appropriate place for her daughter to be anyways.

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She calls someone who picks her daughter up and then dramatically walks off into the rain. AITA for kicking this person out of our place? My girlfriend is glad about it, but some other friends told me it was a d**k move, and I certainly felt a little guilty that the weather was so bad.

The man’s choice to remove the uninvited guest was a tough but fair call, prioritizing his household’s safety and boundaries over the roommate’s reckless charity. The roommate’s failure to communicate, leaving strangers unsupervised in a shared home, breached trust and basic cohabitation rules, while the guest’s disruptive behavior—discarding belongings and dictating house rules—crossed lines.

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A 2022 study in Journal of Community Psychology found that 63% of shared living conflicts stem from unagreed guests, escalating when health risks like illness are involved (Wiley, 2022). Dr. Irene Levine, a psychologist specializing in relationships, notes, “Shared homes require mutual consent for guests, especially strangers, to maintain trust and safety” (TheFriendshipBlog.com). The guest’s sick child and fragrance demands added health and comfort concerns, justifying swift action.

The roommate’s absence and silence fueled the chaos, showing disregard for her housemates. The guest’s homelessness evokes sympathy, but her entitlement didn’t align with receiving aid. Reddit’s push to evict the roommate reflects the breach’s severity.

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The couple should review their lease with a lawyer to evict the roommate legally, citing contract violations (Nolo.com). A house meeting to set guest policies, or a no-stranger rule, could prevent repeats. Offering the guest local shelter resources might ease guilt without compromising safety.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s tossing out some spicy takes on this roommate ruckus, with zero chill for the freshman’s antics—get ready for the roast!

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KabMeister - NTA but you should also kick the roommate out as well. She sucks.

[Reddit User] - NTA. If your roommate wants to run a homeless shelter, she needs to move out and do it elsewhere. It isn’t okay to tell someone they can live in your home if it hasn’t been cleared with everyone who lives there.

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White_RavenZ - NTA - It’s time to give the roommate 30 days notice too. Do not leave the apartment for any trips until this roommate is gone. If they are too stupid to n**lect basic roomie courtesy during a pandemic, then they need to be elsewhere. Think of it this way, your roomie invited the plague to live in your home without even warning you. Get them gone. You can’t trust them to mind the health of the house.

lincmidd - NTA. Your roommate is. You can’t have strangers move in without your roommates’ consent and then leave strangers alone in your home unsupervised. Next one to go Is the roommate, evict her. She had no sense of courtesy or living in a shared space, much less common sense.

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squirrelsareevil2479 - NTA. For someone who was in such need, she sure acted entitled. Trying to micromanage what you're doing in the kitchen is ridiculous. She should have been grateful and try to keep the peace since you knew nothing about her and her daughter staying in your house. The gall of banging on you bedroom door is so out of line.

I'm glad you asked her to leave. Now, you need to clean house and get rid of the roommate who brought her home. I'm not surprised she wouldn't respond to your messages but she needs to go also. Best of luck to you.

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BlackStarBlues - NTA. Get rid of the roommate.

xickennoogit - NTA, throw the whole roommate out. That's so unnecessary for her to bring into your gf's home. The next time she even tries that s**t, I'd call the cops and include her to be removed.

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EveningJellyfish1 - NTA. What the hell is all I can say to this situation. You arrive home to find a strange homeless woman and child ALONE in your house? She's lucky you didn't call the police. You are under no obligation to allow a stranger into your home, much less one who is being unruly and making requests of you. The fact that you feel bad about it even a little bit says a lot about your character, you are not an a**hole.

Eyfura - NTA. I don’t even know where to start with this. The cat thing is pretty standard dumb roommate stuff. Inviting an unknown person and a child into a home you don’t own and then leaving them there? This roommate needs some serious boundary discussions and also needs to understand that rescue (of anything or anyone) requires follow through.

Honestly the minute I found out a stranger had thrown out my belongings I would have been done. A family friend is a therapist for homeless people. I have compassion for their p**ght. But this scenario is just insane.

fear_nothin - We are in a pandemic. Wtf. She knowing brought strangers into your house and left them. Wasn’t there to look out for them , just invited them in and left. This girl is going to have her eyes forced open in life if she keeps doing this kinda stuff. Lots of nice men in this world who wouldn’t take advantage of dumb young girls s/..

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Kick her out. Make her learn a life lesson or not.. NTA in any way possible. Edit: noticed the upvotes and came back and re-read the post. I’m even more ticked off. Please speak to a lawyer or if your comfortable research your state/provinces tenant laws.

Please serve this young roommate of yours the least legally allowed amount of time and spare yourselves more of this. Was she sheltered as a child and doesn’t understand the real world?! Also. Maybe a covid test for all of you as well. Others were helpful and pointed out the kids cough.

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These are Reddit’s boldest opinions, but do they cook up the full recipe for fairness and empathy?

This wild tale of a sneaky roommate and an ousted guest is a masterclass in defending your home while wrestling with guilt. Reddit backs the couple’s boot-the-guest move, urging the roommate’s exit for her boundary-busting stunt. It’s a reminder that kindness can’t trump consent in shared spaces. What would you do if a roommate turned your home into a stranger’s haven? Spill your thoughts below—let’s unpack this domestic drama!

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