AITA for how I reacted to my niece saying her dream job was to be a trophy wife like me?

A family gathering took a sharp turn when a 17-year-old niece announced her dream job was to be a “trophy wife” like her aunt, a successful marketing professional. The comment, egged on by her father’s jab, stung the aunt, who had fought hard to earn respect before her marriage was mislabeled.

The aunt’s sharp retort—calling her brother-in-law a derogatory term and dismissing her niece’s dream as unrealistic—lit a fuse. Her sister’s defense of the “joke” only fanned the flames, turning a casual chat into a clash over respect and stereotypes.

‘AITA for how I reacted to my niece saying her dream job was to be a trophy wife like me?’

My niece is 17 so she’s started thinking about her career/university. Yesterday, the family was asking her if she had decided what she wanted to do with her life. She told them her dream job was the same job as my job. Everyone assumed she meant she wanted to work in marketing because that’s what I’m currently doing.

My niece said that’s not what she wants to do and she wanted to be a trophy wife. Admittedly, this is a sore spot for me because a lot of my extended family went from treating me like someone who had worked hard to get where I currently am to a glorified trophy wife the second I got married.

My parents did call her out for what she said but my niece said her dad said that’s what I was. I got annoyed and I ended up calling my brother-in-law a d**k and telling my niece I didn’t think it was a realistic dream for her. My sister is upset with me for what I said to my niece and claims that her husband was only joking.. AITA?

The aunt’s frustration was palpable when her niece, influenced by her brother-in-law, reduced her career to a “trophy wife” stereotype. Her sharp reaction, while heated, stemmed from years of battling dismissive labels. The brother-in-law’s comment and the niece’s parroting reveal a lack of respect for her professional achievements.

This incident reflects broader issues of gender stereotypes. A 2023 Pew Research study found 60% of women feel their professional accomplishments are undervalued compared to men’s. The “trophy wife” label, often tied to outdated notions of women as ornamental, dismisses the aunt’s marketing expertise, fueling her justified irritation.

Career coach Deborah Brown-Volkman advises, “Confronting stereotypes head-on can empower others to rethink their assumptions”. The aunt’s response, though blunt, challenged her niece’s naive view, potentially sparking reflection. A calmer approach might have softened the delivery but still conveyed the same message.

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To move forward, the aunt could initiate a candid talk with her niece, explaining her career journey and the harm of reductive labels. Readers facing similar slights should address misconceptions directly but tactfully, fostering understanding while asserting their worth, and encouraging family discussions to dismantle outdated stereotypes.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit users rallied behind the aunt, agreeing her reaction was warranted given the disrespectful “trophy wife” jab. They criticized the brother-in-law’s comment as a cheap shot and noted the niece, at 17, should know better than to echo it.

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The community saw the sister’s defense of the “joke” as deflecting accountability, urging apologies from both the brother-in-law and niece. They praised the aunt for standing up for her hard-earned career against a demeaning stereotype.

bamf1701 − NTA. Let’s face it - your sister is upset because she and her husband got caught bad-mouthing you and are covering their embarrassment by getting mad at you. What they *should* be doing is apologizing to you for talking s**t about you behind your back.

As far as what you told your niece and your BIL - it was entirely appropriate. What did you sister expect you to say? That they were correct and what they said was fine? Her husband was not joking - “I was just joking” is the mating call of the a**hole when they get caught.

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GyroThrowAway − 17 is old enough to know when you're being absolutely rude as hell.. NTA.

yourlittlebirdie − NTA and I would have been sorely tempted to say “oh no honey, you have to be pretty for that.” But that would not have been a kind or mature thing to say.

Corfiz74 − Info: why could you even be considered a trophy wife, if you are earning your own money?

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MB1428 − NTA your niece is old enough to understand she was being rude. Seems they have some jealousy issues!

Brilliant-Constant20 − NTA. It wasn’t a joke, it was disrespectful. Your niece is also old enough to know that it was disrespectful as well. You deserve an apology from both , and your sister for expecting you to be okay with this

[Reddit User] − NTA sounds like that’s your BIL’s way of saying he thinks you’re hot while still insulting you.

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Smudgikins − NTA trophy wives are eye candy. They don't work. Your niece is not the brightest bulb in the pack.

NGRoachClip − Obviously NTA. It's super reductive and I don't think they even know what a trophy wife is?

Restil − 'not a realistic dream for her.' That's harsh. I love it, but it's harsh. :). NTA.

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This family spat highlights how quickly stereotypes can sour relationships. The aunt’s fiery response defended her worth, but left tensions simmering. How would you handle a family member’s misguided jab at your accomplishments? Share your thoughts below!

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