AITA for telling my teenage daughter to stay with her aunt because my older daughter didn’t want her in the house?

A weekend family reunion turned sour when 20-year-old Laura, home from college, taunted her 15-year-old sister Lily over a fresh breakup, pushing her to tears. The household, already tense, erupted into chaos when Lily retaliated by popping the lenses out of Laura’s glasses, leaving her visually impaired sister distraught and unable to see.

The father, caught between a heartbroken teen and a blinded young adult, made a snap decision to send Lily to her aunt’s house to defuse the situation. His choice, meant to protect Laura, sparked outrage from his sister-in-law, who saw it as favoring a “spoiled bully,” turning a sibling spat into a parenting predicament.

‘AITA for telling my teenage daughter to stay with her aunt because my older daughter didn’t want her in the house?’

My wife and I have two daughters. Laura (20) and Lily (15). Laura studying away but came home for the weekend. Lily has just had her first boyfriend breakup and it's hit her hard. She's been crying in her room the past few days. Unfortunately Laura has a bit of a windup personality and was tormenting her little sister about the breakup, which only upset Lily more.

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She was saying things like if the boyfriend left her for 'a prettier girl' and saying she 'didn't blame him' etc. Horrible things. We did tell Laura repeatedly to cut it out but she didn't listen, to the point that Lily went to bed in tears. Laura has eye problems. She has been very visually impaired since she was a baby. Her current glasses prescription is -28 and she can't wear contacts.

We woke up this morning to screaming from Laura's room. Laura had woken up and put her glasses on, but the lenses had been popped out. Lily admitted to doing it and said she threw the lenses out the window. We did try to search for them outside but they couldn't be found.Laura was crying her eyes out and couldn't see anything at all.

She does have a spare pair of glasses but as she only came for a couple of days she didn't bring them with her. To be fair Lily regretted what she did as soon as she saw how upset Laura was, but Laura didn't want Lily near her and begged us to keep her away.

My wife's sister lives nearby, and I asked Lily to go and spend the day there, because Laura was blinded and looking after her had to be our main concern. I then got a call from my SIL, saying 'how dare you' throw her out for 'that spoiled bully'. It's not about spoiling anyone.

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Laura was blinded and terrified, and was too scared to be in the same house as Lily. It was right to ask her to leave until we could get Laura back to her place where her spare glasses were. I do get that it was harsh to just tell Lily to leave, but what else could we have done when our other child was unable to see and crying in fear?

The father’s decision to send Lily to her aunt’s house prioritized Laura’s immediate distress, but it left Lily feeling sidelined. Laura’s cruel taunting, unchecked despite parental warnings, provoked Lily’s impulsive act. Both daughters’ actions—Laura’s bullying and Lily’s retaliation—reflect a failure to set firm boundaries, escalating a manageable conflict into a crisis.

This scenario underscores the complexities of sibling dynamics. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that sibling bullying can lead to long-term emotional harm, especially when parents don’t intervene effectively. The father’s mild reprimands to Laura failed to curb her behavior, leaving Lily unsupported and fueling her drastic response.

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Psychologist Dr. Laura Markham emphasizes, “Parents must model and enforce respectful behavior early to prevent sibling conflicts from escalating”. Here, the father’s focus on Laura’s visual impairment overlooked Lily’s emotional vulnerability, creating a perception of favoritism. Markham’s advice suggests addressing both daughters’ actions with equal accountability to foster mutual respect.

To resolve this, the father could facilitate a mediated conversation, allowing both daughters to express their feelings and set boundaries. Readers facing similar conflicts should establish clear consequences for bullying and ensure all children feel heard, preventing resentment and promoting family harmony.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with Lily, criticizing the father for not addressing Laura’s bullying more firmly. They viewed sending Lily away as unfairly favoring Laura, reinforcing perceptions of her as the “golden child” despite her cruel behavior.

The community felt both daughters needed consequences—Laura for her taunting and Lily for her retaliation—but emphasized that Laura, as the older sibling, should have faced stronger discipline. The father’s inaction on the bullying was seen as a key misstep.

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LinnHell − YTA. The oldest was, in your own words, tormenting her little sister. You should’ve made her leave. I can’t blame the youngest for wanting revenge tbh. Your oldest sounds horrible.

throwawaygrosso − YTA. What the hell? You’re the AH for letting a 20-year-old bully a child like that.

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[Reddit User] − YTA so it’s ok to let lily suffer but it’s not ok when lily reaches her breaking point after you doing nothing to discipline Laura. I know yes what lily did was wrong but it’s on you for not setting boundaries.

teamasterzeta − YTA for essentially choosing sides. Even if you mean well, your 15 yo 1000% sees this as you caring more about the older daughter.Laura is away, comes home for one weekend, and as a 20 yo girl, decides to mess with her sister who just had a big breakup instead of comfort her, literally trying to make her feel worse about her situation.

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ALL kinds of messed up. And no real punishment just a 'stop it' from parents. Lily retaliates on someone who tormented her in a time of need, and then gets kicked out for it. To me personally the aunt has it right, punish them both if youd like, but Laura is definitely the instigator and supposed to be an adult here(or atleast an older sister) not a child.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Laura has a windup personality but can’t take it when she’s on the receiving end? She should have been thrown out and stop enabling her.. When lily moves out and never speaks to any of you again you’ll deserve it

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bonniebluest − YTA you should have done more when Laura was BULLYING Lily. Maybe this wouldn't have escalated if you put a stop to that.

lincmidd − YTA. SIL is right. Your ADULT daughter torments your heartbroken teenager in a very cruel manner. You, as the parent don’t stop it and it continues. So the child who is the victim of relentless, cruel bullying

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Who isn’t protected by her parents, retaliates in kind and she is kicked out of her home in favor of her tormentor, who doesn’t live their. Of course you are TA, Laura is too. I would also bet this isn’t the first time Laura was cruel to Lily and you failed to act as a parent to Lily.

Magiclily2020 − YTA. Your older daughter is nearly blind and apparently the golden child because of it. She needs therapy if she thinks it is okay to bully her sister. Spending a day in bed

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unable do so anything but think about her actions is not the same as being blinded. I don't believe for a second that Laura was that scared, you just fell again for her manipulations. Let Lily come back home and let her make amends.

Ctiiu − YTA for throwing out your minor daughter in favour of the adult, you should’ve had the abusive older sister stay with the SIL before it escalated to the point of the glasses being damaged.

You left you young emotionally distraught daughter to suffer at the hands of her sister and are now punishing her for lashing out.. Grow up! Make your older daughter grow up and don’t ever abandon your child!

laowildin − YTA Terrified of the f**k what? In fear of f**king what? tf did I just read? Do people really fall for this obvious manipulation?. I'm with the aunt on this.

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This family’s clash reveals the delicate balance of parenting siblings with competing needs. The father’s choice to prioritize Laura’s immediate crisis over Lily’s emotional pain sparked debate about fairness and discipline. How would you handle a sibling conflict that escalates this far? Share your thoughts below!

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