AITA for refusing to eat what my sister-in-law cooked when he knew I was a vegetarian?

The aroma of roast chicken filled the cozy New York apartment, but for one woman, it was a recipe for tension. A 28-year-old vegetarian, known for her decade-long commitment to a meat-free life, faced an unexpected showdown during a family visit. Her sister-in-law, usually a thoughtful cook, had prepared a dinner that screamed anything but plant-based. What started as a routine family gathering spiraled into a clash of diets and emotions, leaving everyone questioning respect and boundaries.

Hosting her brother and sister-in-law from Florida, the woman anticipated a warm evening of shared meals. Instead, she found herself navigating a culinary curveball that tested her patience and principles. The Reddit community jumped in, dishing out opinions as spicy as the beef rice on the table. This tale of dietary defiance and family friction begs the question: where’s the line between hospitality and personal choice?

‘AITA for refusing to eat what my sister-in-law cooked when he knew I was a vegetarian?’

I (f28) have been a vegetarian for over 10 years and all my family knew and respected that. Even my sister-in-law (f25). A couple of times a year my sister-in-law and brother (m24) visit us in New York from Florida. Usually my sister-in-law will cook some thing for one of the nights that they stay for dinner.

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This time she ended up cooking a roast chicken dinner, with beef rice, and a shepherds pie, which does have ground lamb. I told my sister-in-law that I couldn’t eat that because I’m a vegetarian, in case she had forgotten.

She told me that she spent over 3 hours cooking and that I was going to deal with it and eat it, or not eat for that night. I told her to calm down and that I was just going to make myself a salad. This made her break down in tears saying that I was disrespectful to her and the hours she spent cooking.

While this was happening I just made a salad and ate it in the living room. To this my sister-in-law told me that I was never aloud to eat her cooking again. Which to me wouldn’t be a big deal because she continues to make non vegetarian meals. So, AITA?

Family dinners can stir up more than just the pot. This vegetarian’s clash with her sister-in-law highlights a deeper issue of respect for personal choices. The sister-in-law’s insistence that the OP eat meat or go hungry suggests a power play, not just a misunderstanding. According to a 2021 study by the Vegetarian Resource Group, about 6% of U.S. adults follow a vegetarian diet, and respect for dietary preferences is a growing social norm (source: Vegetarian Resource Group).

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Dr. Susan Albers, a clinical psychologist specializing in eating behaviors, notes, “Food choices are deeply personal and often tied to identity. Disregarding them can feel like dismissing someone’s core values” (source: Cleveland Clinic). Here, the sister-in-law’s meat-heavy menu, despite knowing the OP’s vegetarianism, seems intentional, possibly testing boundaries. The OP’s calm choice to make a salad was a diplomatic sidestep, preserving her values without escalating the conflict.

This situation reflects a broader issue: navigating dietary differences in shared spaces. The sister-in-law’s emotional reaction may stem from feeling her effort was unappreciated, but her ultimatum was disproportionate. A solution could involve open communication before meals—discussing menus to ensure inclusivity. For future gatherings, the OP might suggest a collaborative cooking plan to avoid surprises. Respecting dietary choices fosters harmony, and both parties could benefit from clearer expectations.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a buffet of reactions to this family feud. From calling out the sister-in-law’s audacity to questioning her bizarre menu, the comments were a lively mix of support and shade. Here’s what the community had to say:

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lellyla − NTA. Excuse me, she visited at YOUR HOME and said you eat the meat she cooked or you are not allowed to eat for the night? Is she seriously that deluded? Please tell her that she is projecting, she is the disrespectful one, and she is not allowed to visit again.

Left-Car6520 − I don't... this doesn't make sense. In the past, a couple of times a year, she has always cooked a vegetarian friendly meal, but this night she suddenly decided to cook a bunch of meat and throw a fit? Why? How? Also who cooks a roast chicken *and* shepherd's pie *and* beef with rice for a dinner for four? With no vegetable sides at all? What kind of weird meal combo is that?

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sarilarifari5 − NTA And she basically went out of her way to make sure that every side dish also contains some kind of meat. What's up with that?? Seems pretty intentional.

Sweet-Salt-1630 − NTA is there something else going on with her? You host her, it's your kitchen and she is being so rude about it. I wouldn't allow her to stay again.

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[Reddit User] − Who makes roast chicken with beef rice and shepherd pie? that isn’t a normal “meal”. Sounds like a potluck and yeah, she did that on purpose. So NTA … she sounds like fun.

TemptingPenguin369 − NTA. She came into your home, where she was staying for free, and deliberately went out and bought food to cook that included chicken, beef and lamb? Then tells you she was basically sending you to bed without dinner because you wouldn't eat it? Did your brother go along with this? I'm sorry no one had your back, but at least you can make sure they're never your houseguests again!

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Legitimate-Meal-2290 − I was going to deal with it and eat it, or not eat for that night.. In your own home, from a guest. The absolute f**king audacity.

Professional_Ad9013 − A.) You're an adult, not some child who could be accused of 'going through a phase', and it's terribly rude to do that to children anyway. She did this on purpose, so look out for her in future. B.) Why did she make it an 'eat my cooking or be hungry' ultimatum, when getting a salad together is quick, quiet, simple, and harms nobody?

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C.) What we have here is a need to control you, paired with complete contempt for your lifestyle that goes beyond disrespect. I'd expect an abject, sincere apology before breaking bread with this woman again, but I'd also get on with my life as it's probably not coming.. NTA my friend. Thanks for being a great example by handling this so calmly.

[Reddit User] − Hold on... This happened at your home?. NTA. She knew what she was doing for those 3 hours.. Even if she wanted to eat meat, than she still could have made a dish without meat for you.

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PotatoBubby − NTA. I’m a vegetarian and this is wild to me. My family might give me a hard time but even they make sure I am fed. But even then, I think we all have to get over the “you’re gonna eat it and you’re gonna like it or I’m gonna be sad / you’ll be hungry” thing. This is why we all have a bad relationship with food.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, with some suspecting intentional disrespect. But do their fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the drama?

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This vegetarian standoff serves as a reminder that family gatherings can test more than just patience—they challenge mutual respect. The OP’s quiet rebellion with a salad bowl spoke volumes, but the sister-in-law’s tears hint at deeper tensions. Food is personal, and when choices clash, a little empathy goes a long way. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you navigate dietary differences with family?

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