AITA for competing in a mother and son race with my stepson?

On a crisp autumn day, a school field buzzed with laughter and cheers as mothers and sons dashed across the grass, legs tied and spirits high. For one stepmother, the chance to piggyback her 11-year-old stepson Dylan in a mother-son race was a golden opportunity to bond. But when Dylan’s biological mom, Julie, caught wind of their victory lap via a profile picture, the finish line turned into a battleground. Her accusations of overstepping lit a fuse in this blended family.

This heartwarming yet thorny tale of step-parenting and missed messages pulls readers into the messy joy of family ties. Reddit users rallied with opinions as lively as the race itself, leaving us to wonder: where’s the line between stepping up and stepping on toes? Let’s lace up and explore this sprint through family dynamics.

‘AITA for competing in a mother and son race with my stepson?’

My stepson is 11 and at his school they have these annual events (father-son camping, mother-daughter cooking etc). Late last year they held a mother and son race where the mother had to run across the field and piggy back their sons back to the other side and then tie our legs together and just sprint back across.

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A week prior my stepson Dylan was talking about it and how he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing. When I looked at their poster for it, it looked fun so I convinced him to sign up for it. Later that day I called his mother Julie but she didn't pick up so I left a voicemail talking about the event and asking her to get back to us if she is available.

Five days past and still no word from her. Being honest when she didn't respond, I saw it as an opportunity for Dylan and I to bond but since I respect Julie as his mother I sent her an email (doesn't use social media) with the poster and talking about how Dylan has signed up for it.

Two days passed and still nothing. So I went to Dylan and told him that his mother hadn't gotten back to me but if he was okay with it, I was willing to step in since it was too late to pull out. He was a bit disappointed but still fine. The day came and it was a blast. Tiresome but definitely worth it.

It was just so much fun and I made a few friends there who were also stepmothers. And obviously we won 1st place and got two medals. Dylan also enjoyed it and feels way more comfortable with me now. While I was browsing the school's website last week, I saw a picture from that day with me running and Dylan cheering on my back.

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It was a cute picture so I downloaded it and made it my profile picture. Turns out one of Julie's friends showed her the picture and now she's going on a rant about how I shouldn't have done that and how I've overstepped my mark as his step mother.

When I told her I called her and sent an email she went on saying that I should've sent her a text or called her again instead of just once. AITA?. EDIT: my husband and I have custody of Dylan and Julie comes to visit a couple times a month.

Stepping into a mother-son race sounds like a wholesome win, but it stirred a family storm. The stepmother’s enthusiasm to bond with Dylan was heartfelt, especially after Julie’s silence on calls and emails. Julie’s delayed outrage, sparked by a photo, suggests jealousy or guilt over her absence. Both women are grappling with their roles in Dylan’s life, with the stepmother acting as a present parent and Julie clinging to her maternal title.

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Blended families often face such tensions. A 2021 study from the American Psychological Association found that 60% of step-parents struggle with unclear boundaries in their roles. Clear communication is key, but Julie’s unresponsiveness left a gap the stepmother filled.

Family therapist Dr. Patricia Papernow notes, “Step-parents can build trust by respecting the biological parent’s role while being reliable for the child”. Here, the stepmother’s efforts to contact Julie show respect, but her profile picture choice may have felt like a public claim to Julie. For Dylan’s sake, consistent involvement from both women matters more than titles.

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To resolve this, the stepmother could acknowledge Julie’s feelings while firmly maintaining her role in Dylan’s life, especially given her and her husband’s primary custody. Open dialogue with Dylan about his feelings could strengthen their bond. Ignoring Julie’s rants, as Reddit suggests, might reduce conflict, letting Dylan’s joy in the race shine.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit brought the heat, dishing out support with a side of sass! Here’s what the community had to say about this stepmom’s race-day triumph:

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RollingKatamari − NTA - if she didn't reply to one text or a mail, why would she respond to another one. Incredibly rude on her part to leave your messages unread. You stepped in when she let her son down and that's something your stepson will remember. Where's your husband in all of this, why is he letting his ex talk to you like this?

Scunglesuck − NTA. Someone has to act like a Mother if she's not going to.

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kotominammy − NTA, you didn't overstep as a stepmother. You made your stepson happy, and that's what matters here - not to mention you tried to contact his mother! What does she expect, that you'll never do anything with him because she might feel jealous?

Chairchucker − NTA. Seems like she wasn't interested and didn't mind until it was public.

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ShoddyCheesecake − You reached out and gave her the first opportunity. It's weird that she didn't respond - wouldn't her kid have told her about it, too? She had the opportunity to participate. Declining that is on her. You and your stepson had a fun time and made a good memory. NTA.

JennaMatrixxx − NTA. Dead beat moms want all the glory and none of the hardship. As the late great yondu said ' boy he may be your father but he wasnt your daddy'. Just vice versa with mother and mommy. Youre a good stepmom.

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Ooicu812dude − NTA It's awesome that you participated and got him involved. You would've been TA if you had done it behind her back, but you made every effort to contact her. Good for you guys for having fun.

maestr0101 − NTA, his mother should have known that you were going to do it with him, because if she really cared about him then she would have responded to your texts. If she had a problem with you doing it she should have been bothered enough to tell you.

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MajorasShoe − INFO: Why doesn't she have partial custody? She doesn't do weekends, or the court doesn't allow her? She was ducking calls and communications so it sounds more like she's just a s**tty mom, but her lack of a role in her kid's life is kind of relevant here.

Either way, NTA. You're there for him, sounds like you're a full time parent, what's wrong with doing mother/son things with him? Would it be better for him to be left out of the event, out of respect for his deadbeat mom?

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MrsjRobin − NTA - glad you and your step-son had a nice time

These takes are as bold as a three-legged sprint, but do they capture the full track of this family’s story?

This story of a stepmom racing to bond with her stepson reminds us that family isn’t just about titles—it’s about showing up. The Reddit crowd cheered her on, but Julie’s reaction highlights the tightrope of blended families. Have you ever navigated a tricky step-parent moment? What would you do when a bio parent feels sidelined? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation running!

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