AITA for asking my daughter to sahre her college fund with her brother?
A mother’s attempt to right a family wrong stirs up a storm when she asks her 18-year-old daughter to share a $200,000 college fund, gifted by a grandmother who shunned her 20-year-old brother over a childhood prank. The grandmother’s icy favoritism—banishing the boy for sticking gum in his aunt’s hair at age 8—left him without support, while her daughter basks in unexpected wealth.
This isn’t just a money dispute—it’s a tangled web of fairness and old wounds. The daughter’s refusal and the father’s anger clash with the mother’s plea for equity, as Reddit debates her approach. Like a family album with missing pages, the story probes the cost of favoritism and a parent’s role in mending broken bonds.
‘AITA for asking my daughter to sahre her college fund with her brother?’
The mother’s request for Grace to share her college fund aimed to correct the grandmother’s cruel exclusion of Luke, but it placed an unfair burden on an 18-year-old, risking resentment. The grandmother’s ongoing punishment of Luke for a childhood act, coupled with the father’s complicity in maintaining ties with her, enabled years of emotional neglect.
A 2020 study in Family Relations found that 58% of families with favoritism report strained sibling relationships, often perpetuated by parental inaction (Wiley, 2020). Dr. Susan Forward, a family dynamics expert, notes, “When parents allow favoritism to persist, they implicitly condone emotional harm, fracturing family trust” (SusanForward.com). The mother’s inaction against the grandmother’s abuse, and her husband’s enabling, compounded Luke’s isolation.
Asking Grace to share was well-intentioned but misguided, as it shifted responsibility onto a young adult rather than addressing the adults’ failures. Grace’s defensiveness reflects her fear of losing her opportunity, while Luke’s exclusion demands parental advocacy, not sibling sacrifice.
The mother should apologize to Grace, affirming her right to the funds, and focus on supporting Luke through scholarships or personal savings. A family therapist could help address the grandmother’s impact and rebuild trust (PsychologyToday.com). Cutting contact with the grandmother may protect both kids.
See what others had to share with OP:
Reddit’s diving into this family fiasco with sharp takes and a pinch of outrage—get ready for some heated insights!
![[Reddit User] − YTA, but not for asking your daughter to share. YTA for staying in that marriage for so long and allowing your mil and her family to emotionally abuse your son while favoring his sister in his face. It probably hurt him even more that his own father was allowing it to happen and even encouraged it by still having a relationship with his mother and visiting with your daughter.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/221732vvt-01.png)
These are Reddit’s fieriest opinions, but do they untangle the mess of fairness and family loyalty?
This saga of a skewed college fund and a mother’s plea for fairness is a raw portrait of love warped by favoritism. Reddit slams the adults for letting a grandmother’s grudge fester, while debating the daughter’s role in righting wrongs.
It’s a stark reminder that family bonds fray when fairness falters. How would you handle a grandparent’s bias tearing siblings apart? Share your thoughts below—let’s unpack this emotional tangle!
