AITA for being mean to my father and his wife?

A 15-year-old boy’s world, shattered by his mother’s tragic death, collides with his father’s new life with his affair partner turned wife. Living under their roof, he bristles at her attempts to play “replacement mom,” unleashing a fiery outburst that leaves her in tears and his father furious.

When he bars them from a family-only academic ceremony, citing their betrayal, the family splits, with his dad’s side fuming and his mom’s kin cheering. This raw tale of grief and resentment asks: can a teen’s anger be justified?

‘AITA for being mean to my father and his wife?’

My (15M) father (47M) is a piece of s**t. He cheated on my mom with his much younger assistant. It was f**king textbook. My mom found out, divorced him and got full custody of me. My dad married his affair partner. But about a year ago, my mom died in a car crash. After her death, I had to go live with my father and his wife, let's call her Stacy.

Ever since I started living there, Stacy has had the idea in her head that we'll be a picture perfect family and she'll be my replacement mom. I don't consider any of them to be my family. One time, Stacy told me that I need to be more friendly to her now that she was my mom. I lost it.

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I told her that she was just a homewrecker and my dad was a cheating a**hole. She started crying and my father chewed me out. Today, Stacy apparently went through my emails and found out that I will be receiving an academic honor and will be speaking at the ceremony. She and my dad interrogated me for a bit and asked me why I didn't tell them.

I told them that they couldn't come as it's family only. After that they both just walked away with their heads down. It looks like they told the whole family and I'm getting a lot of s**t from my dad's side but my grandmother and uncle on my mom's side are with me. I'm starting to think I might have been too harsh. So, AITA?

INFO:. Have I had therapy: No, I haven't. I told my father I wanted it but he refused.. When did Stacy say she was my mom: About 2 months after my mom's death.. Was my mom at fault in the car crash: No, she was hit by a drunk driver.. Can I live with any of my relatives: No, none of them can take me in.

This teen’s sharp words to his father and stepmother stem from deep wounds—grief over his mother’s death and betrayal from his father’s affair. His stepmother’s push to be “mom” just months after the loss, coupled with her invasion of his emails, fuels his rage, while his father’s refusal to allow therapy stifles healing.

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Dr. Kenneth Doka, a grief expert, notes, “Adolescents grieving a parent’s death often struggle with anger, especially in disrupted family structures” (source: Grief.com). The teen’s outburst, calling his stepmother a “homewrecker,” reflects unprocessed pain, while her overstepping—like claiming a maternal role—ignores his emotional boundaries.

This reflects broader challenges in blended families. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found 60% of stepchildren report loyalty conflicts, often worsened by forced familial roles (source: APA.org). The stepmother’s email snooping and the father’s dismissal of therapy signal control, not care.

The teen could benefit from therapy to navigate his grief, even if pursued independently through school resources. Setting boundaries, like calmly stating he’s not ready for a new “mom,” might ease tensions.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s users brought the heat, rallying behind the teen with fierce support and sharp critiques. Here’s what they had to say:

[Reddit User] − NTA. I can’t believe the other comments telling OP to basically get over it and be ok with the father’s affair/new family situation. By marrying the affair partner the father is rubbing OP’s nose in it everyday. If he one day feels differently and decides to forgive, great,

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but telling OP “affairs happen, you need to move on” is invalidating his very valid feelings (and frankly is gross and sounds like something someone who cheated would say). At least it’s only a few years until OP is an adult and will hopefully have other living arrangement options.

ezrareadallaboutit − NTA. I can't believe people are calling you the a**hole here. Your dad and his wife made their bed and you don't owe them forgiveness. They can earn your respect over time, but it is up to you to give it to them when you're ready. Of course you're holding on to anger. They hurt your mom, and they your mom passed away. It probably feels like betraying her memory to forgive them.

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They are trying to force the family to make themselves feel better about being s**tty people. I want to let you know though, if they really are trying to be good people, you might end up being happier in the long run if you can someday forgive them... but them invading your privacy makes me feel like they are just being controlling.

I'm sure your mom would want you to be happy more than she'd want you to hold onto that grudge. But that is your journey, your choice, and they can't rush you into that. You are allowed to feel betrayed by them for what they did to your mom. I hope you're getting therapy. Best wishes.

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CMSkye − NTA. And can we stop and reread the line that says Stacey went through OP's emails?

Luna-Strange − NTA. Ask your grandma if she can take you in. Your old enough to decide for yourself as long as she puts a bid for custody in. She should not be going through your emails.

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HeelTar73 − NTA but also, have you had any therapy? I completely understand that level of anger but I worry about you being able to move forward in your life. I’m really sorry about your mom.

Toast_face_killa − Who are these people asking if the crash was ops moms fault....does it matter!?!?, OP lost their mother. Coming from a household of a cheating parent during my formative years and I still have zero interest in my mom for all this. OP is NTA you process this however you need to. I still need the therapy I never got. Stay strong op start saving and move on your 18th bday.l

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SanguineRose9337 − NTA. What you said is harsh, but I can see why you would feel that way. Your mom is your mom, not Stacy. Not saying a step-parent can't be just as important as a bio parent, but they don't just earn the place. She crossed a line big time.

As far as your dad, he did break up your family with his actions. You are justified in being upset with him. While I won't tell you to forgive them, some effort to keep the peace might be a good idea while you have to live with them.

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[Reddit User] − NTA isit possible to live with your grandmother or uncle? Because of your age you could choose and court will hear your view if you needed to go that route if your dad tried to stop you. She's legit tried to replace your mum. That's a no go. He's allowed this to go on and is worse than her.

I'm really sorry for your loss and the situation you're in. Just remember once you move out you are of no obligation to ever speak to them again. Ever. Not even if you have kids. In fact I encourage you not to ever let them meet your kids.. Congratulations on your school stuff

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Psychological-Wall-2 − People seem to be focusing on the cheating and the i**asion of privacy. Completely understandably, BTW. But just think if there was no cheating (ie. amicable divorce) and no i**asion of privacy. Stacy and OP's would *still* be TAs. What sort of brainless solipsist says, '... now I'm your Mom.' to their stepchild? This would be bad enough just by itself, but to say it a mere two months after her death?

And the father has *no idea* where OP's 'meanness' is coming from? He's a moron too.. WTF? If someone wanted to write an instruction manual on how to alienate one's stepchild and ensure that they will *never* see you as a parent, bestowing a parental title upon oneself would be strategy #1.. NTA, in case that was unclear.

vanakov − NTA, I am so sorry for your loss. I do hope that that as a small condolence that your mum left you an inheritance so that you can move out when you are 18. Ttake your grandmother to the ceremony, and if you are feeling generous your bio... but you are under ZERO obligation to take your step mother.

These bold takes cut deep, but do they see the full picture or just fuel the fire of rebellion?

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This teen’s story of lashing out at his father and stepmother reveals the raw pain of loss and betrayal. His harsh words, born of grief, sparked a family divide, but were they too far? Navigating a new family after tragedy is a minefield. Would you forgive a parent’s betrayal or hold the line like this teen? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s unpack what it means to heal in a broken home!

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