AITA for not training the person that got the job I wanted?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Imagine pouring your heart into a job, stepping up as acting manager, only to watch someone else—new and unfamiliar—swoop in to claim the title you earned. The office buzzes with tension as a 3-year company veteran, thrust into a leadership role during their boss’s health struggles, faces a gut-punch: they’re passed over for the promotion they were all but promised. Frustration simmers as they’re expected to train the new manager, who’s clueless about the department’s ins and outs.

This Reddit tale captures the sting of being overlooked and the defiance of taking a stand. Readers might feel the burn of workplace unfairness or the thrill of sticking it to the system. Was it petty, or a justified rebellion? Let’s unpack this story of ambition, betrayal, and a well-timed vacation.

‘AITA for not training the person that got the job I wanted?’

Been with 'company' for almost 3 years, as Assistant to the manager, about 8 months ago my managers health took a slight turn (sucks because they are a fantastic person) and they officially made me Assistant manager, since then I have taken on a lot of my managers responsibilities and have run the dept. on multiple occasions while they were away for various reasons,,.

ADVERTISEMENT

Front Story, A number of weeks ago my manger resigned and finished up a couple days later, I put my hand up for the role, all discussion with upper management indicated that I would be next in line, so for the next few weeks I carried on and ran the dept.

As usual,(I should add, with no issues) last week a new manager for the department was hired and they started a day later,, I'm not sure why I was overlooked and nothing has been told to me, but the new person really knows nothing specific to this department.

Managerial skills are still yet to be determined but I spent the next day essentially teaching them what to do from the ground up, this frustrated me and so I took annual leave all last week and my phone hasn't stopped ringing, because the new manager really doesn't know anything about our specific department, and they have no clue what to do day to day.

I haven't been answering, sure they might be a good manager with past experience, but if they were hired over me, then they should be able to do the job right?My Friends are telling me I'm being petty and that I should suck it up and help them,

ADVERTISEMENT

but I really Feel if they wanted someone that could do the work, they should have promoted me to the role,my leave finishes soon and I'm conflicted on how I should proceeded. I've been intentionally vague here because I do enjoy my job and have no intention of leaving, but who knows.

Edit, yes i see the 'The Office' reference, it was intentional, but this is a real story, im not just playing fun of the show, the leave was pre booked, but the did ask me to cancel it, which i declined, i actually do have something on,. will answer more questions as i see them.

Further edit, 22/6 I am the manager now. I did end up helping out with the day to day running of the shop for a period after my leave, however the person that was hired was not a suitable fit for our team, so i guess from my perspective everything seems to have worked out ,. ​

ADVERTISEMENT

Being passed over for a promotion you’ve earned can feel like a slap in the face, especially when asked to train the person who got the job. The Redditor’s decision to take leave and ignore calls reflects a mix of hurt and defiance. As career coach Amy Gallo notes, “When employees feel undervalued, disengagement often follows, impacting team morale and productivity” .

The Redditor’s situation highlights a clash: their proven competence versus the company’s choice to hire externally. Upper management’s lack of transparency about the decision likely fueled resentment. The new manager’s inexperience, meanwhile, underscores a risky hiring choice. Was the Redditor petty, or protecting their dignity? Both sides have merit—the company failed to communicate, but disengaging entirely risks burning bridges.

ADVERTISEMENT

Workplace fairness is a broader issue here. A 2023 Gallup study found 50% of employees feel unrecognized for their contributions, often leading to reduced effort . The Redditor’s frustration mirrors this trend, where lack of acknowledgment breeds disengagement.

For solutions, experts suggest seeking feedback. The Redditor could ask why they were overlooked, focusing on growth areas. Training the new manager, while painful, could showcase leadership and strengthen future promotion chances. Open dialogue with upper management about career paths can also clarify next steps, ensuring their skills aren’t ignored again.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s got no shortage of spice when it comes to workplace drama, and this post brought out some fiery takes. Here’s what the community chimed in with:

teresajs − NTA If you aren't qualified to be hired in the role, you aren't qualified to train the person in the role. Their boss needs to train them. Once you're back in the office, tell them that they need to talk to their manager about getting trained.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − I know this makes me an a**hole but I can't stop laughing at 'assistant TO the manager' 😂😂😂. I'll come back to this in 5 minutes. *EDIT*. Okay, I'm sorry but that s**t was funny. And NTA. I don't think you're being petty. I do think you're being disrespected tho. When you've literally done the manager's job, with no issues, and no pay reflecting that,

but somehow you're expected to just carry on as if everything is okay? And furthermore, they take it a step further by giving the job to someone else and expect you, effectively a subordinate, to train them.... G**damn, management/ownership is trash everywhere lol. F**k that place

ADVERTISEMENT

murphy2345678 − NTA. You shouldn’t be training someone higher up in the company than you. Their boss can train them. Don’t answer the phone.

PattersonsOlady − “Sorry, if I’m not qualified to be appointed in this job I’m obviously not qualified to train someone for it” NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

ClothesQueasy2828 − NTA, and you're not being petty. They hired someone without as much knowledge as you have, they can deal with the consequences.

TheSciFiGuy80 − NTA. I don’t think you are being petty. If the company felt this person was a better fit than you and right for the job than surely they should know what to do, correct? Having someone else who applied for the same job, train them is a slap in the face to that person and proves they know more than the person they hired.

ADVERTISEMENT

I do feel bad for the person in that position because they walked into a typhoon that the company created. But if more people made it difficult and spoke up when s**t like this is done, the less companies would feel they can get away with it.

Chantalle22 − NTA this type of situation is so frequent in companies hiring out instead of promoting in. I don’t think you’re petty for taking your leave, you have the right to be upset over this. You are clearly qualified and experienced with the positions.

ADVERTISEMENT

It sucked that you didn’t get it but I understand that you feel it’s a waste your time training someone else to take over a job that you’re perfectly capable of doing. If this is how your company works, I think it’s best to look for some thing else…I’m sorry OP sounds like you enjoy your work,

but is it worth it being kept in the position that you are with the knowledge that it is possible to keep being overlooked for managing roles/promotions? Is there some type of manager you can speak to about why you didn’t get the position? Maybe it would beneficial to ask, that way it would help you determine whether to stay there or move on somewhere else.

saurellia − I think you are shooting yourself in the foot. You might work for people who suck. And you might work for good leadership. This post doesn’t give me enough info. But let’s say you work for good leadership. I can say from long experience there is a difference between someone who you believe can hold down the fort temporarily and someone you believe can lead long term and take things to the next level.

For context, I have both been the manager and the employee in this exact situation at different times. If you’re pissed off enough to leave, just leave. But if you want a career there you need to swallow your pride, train the manager, and go to the hiring manager and *ask for feedback.* Ask why you were passed over. Ask what gaps/areas of growth they see that you need to fill.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask what strengths they were looking for that you lack. They either will give you helpful constructive feedback or prove, by their lack of feedback or lame feedback unrelated to your qualifications, that they are s**tty leaders in which case you should find a better employer.. Good luck.

extrabigcomfycouch − Oooph, you should not have been answering your phone during that time off.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. I have always refused to train anyone above me. This happened to at a cell phone store, and when the manager had issues, the also inexperienced district manager could deal with it.

These Reddit gems cut deep, but do they nail the whole story? The crowd cheers the Redditor’s stand but might overlook the long-term career risks of their approach.

ADVERTISEMENT

This workplace saga, from snubbed promotion to triumphant update, shows how quickly loyalty can turn to frustration when recognition falls short. The Redditor’s rebellion—taking leave and dodging calls—sparked debate, but their eventual rise to manager proves resilience pays off. Have you ever been overlooked for a role you deserved? How did you handle it? Share your stories—would you train the new boss or take a stand like this Redditor?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *