AITA for making my daughter cancel her date?

The front door swung open, a 13-year-old ready to pedal off to her first pizza date—until her single dad’s simple request to meet the boy hit a snag. This Reddit user, a devoted father, just wanted to say “hi” to his daughter’s date, but her lie about passing on the message led to a canceled outing and a tearful fallout.

This AITA post spins a relatable tale of parenting a teen, balancing trust with safety. The dad’s firm stance stirred his daughter’s anger and his sister’s disapproval, but Reddit’s cheering him on. Was he too strict, or just protecting his girl? Let’s dive into this pizza-fueled parenting drama, where trust and teenage rebellion collide.

‘AITA for making my daughter cancel her date?’

A first date promised pizza and bike rides, but a father’s protective instincts turned it into a lesson in honesty. Here’s the Reddit user’s story in their own words:

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I'm a single dad and have been for about 9 years now. My daughter is 13 and is the single greatest thing to ever happen to me. About a week ago she said that this boy in her class wanted to know if she would be up to grab pizza on that Saturday. We don't really do anything for Thanksgiving so, logistically it worked out. She agreed to it.

When she told me about this, I said that I wanted to meet this guy. She immediately got annoyed and asked why. I said that if a guy is asking my daughter out, I just want to be able to put a face to a name. I promised her it was not going to be some goofy ' dad interrogates boyfriend and acts all scary' schtick. I told her to tell him I wanted to meet him and just say ' Hi'. She tells me she's told him.

Saturday comes and I see her heading towards the door. I tell her to hold up and ask where her date is. She says he's outside and that they're going to bike ride to the pizza place. I ask why he's not coming to the door. She first tells me he's nervous and doesn't know what he'd say to me. I told her that, ' Nice to meet you' is a good start.

Her story changes and she tells me he just ' doesn't see why' I have to meet him. I reiterate my 'why' to her and ask her to go get him. She breaks down and tells me that she lied to me. She never told him I wanted to meet him because she thought it was ' stupid' that I wanted to meet him.

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I told her to text him that the date was off. She said I wasn't allowed to do that. I asked her again to tell him. She started getting teary eyed, texted him, told me I was mean and that she hated me and went to her room. When I told my sister what'd happened, she thought I was in the wrong and said I should've let my daughter go on the date.. AITA?

This pizza date dust-up highlights the tightrope parents walk between trust and safety. The dad’s request to meet his daughter’s date was a reasonable boundary, but her lie—fueled by embarrassment or fear of judgment—escalated the situation. Canceling the date, while firm, aimed to reinforce honesty and safety.

Dr. John Townsend, a parenting expert, notes, “Setting clear boundaries with teens builds trust, but consequences for dishonesty must be consistent” (Source). The dad’s action aligns with this, though his daughter’s emotional reaction reflects typical teen pushback. A 2023 Journal of Adolescent Research study found that 70% of teens lie to parents to avoid judgment, often in new social situations like dating (Source).

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This ties to broader issues of parental oversight in early dating. The dad’s instinct to know the boy protects his daughter in an uncertain world. Advice: The dad could rebuild trust by discussing why meeting the boy matters, saying, “I just need to know you’re safe.” A future compromise, like a group outing, could ease tensions. Family counseling might help navigate teen years.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit rolled up with fiery support, tossing out hot takes on this parenting pickle. Here’s what the community had to say about the dad’s date-canceling call:

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Excellent_Care1859 − NTA if she can’t handle asking him to meet her parent she isn’t mature enough to be alone with a person you don’t know.

Affectionate_Many_73 − Just so you are aware, everyone saying that you shouldn’t casually meet who your 13yo CHILD is hanging out with, date or not; these are the folks you want to be wary of. If this “friend” refused to meet you, or your CHILD refused to let you say hello, then your parent instincts were correct. Wow, can I just say WOW the people on here. This is a scary thread.

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outersenshi − NTA. You’re being a good dad and watching out for her and she doesn’t see it now, but she will in the future. She shouldn’t have felt like she needed to lie. I would say that if she continues to be dodgey about not letting you meet this kid that likes her then try to ask why.

cuntrygirlsmakedo − NTA. The shotgun shtick would have been AH behavior of course. But I think it’s just good parenting to meet who your child (of any gender) is going to hang out with and make sure they seem safe, etc.

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klurtin − Good for you! Your sister is wrong. If the date cannot come to the door and meet you, he is not worthy of your daughter. I had a great dad. He required this. We did not always agree but he was 100% right about this.. NTA.

Message_Bottle − Welcome to teenage years. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride! I let my kids know early on that I wasn’t “the cool mom” and that their health and safety would never be negotiable. That included meeting the parents if there was a house party. “Mom you’re embarrassing me.” Me: that’s my job.

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weistrisq − this is how y’all end up with horrible teens @ the YTA comments. No you’re not the a**hole for insisting on meeting your barely teen daughters date the first time that they go out. Not at all.

falconprincess − NTA because any girl who is too worried about a guy’s opinion to ask him to say hi to her dad is too worried about his opinion to say no to something she’s not comfortable with later in the date. Until she’s confident enough to communicate honestly with a guy she likes, please don’t let her be alone with him.

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bob3725 − Police: 'so your daughter got missing after a pizzadate? Got any extra info?'. Father: 'nah, not really'. Police,'so the boy: what's his name'. Father,: 'oh, didn't really ask that... Kile or Kevin or something?'. Police 'euh... what did he look like then? did you see his parents?'. Father:'I have no clue, i just let her go out.'. NTA!

Guilty_Hunter9304 − NTA. You want to meet the person who is going to take your teenager out on a date.

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These Reddit zingers back the dad, but do they miss the teen’s perspective? Is canceling the date a lesson in trust or a recipe for rebellion?

This pizza date drama serves up a slice of parenting realness, where a dad’s protective instincts clashed with his teen’s budding independence. His daughter’s lie sparked a canceled date and hurt feelings, but Reddit sees a dad doing his job. Was he too tough, or spot-on in teaching trust? Have you faced a parenting moment where safety trumped feelings? What would you do in this sticky situation? Drop your thoughts below and keep the convo sizzling!

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