AITA for telling my siblings I don’t want to split the bill equally since they have kids and I don’t?

In a cozy restaurant buzzing with Mother’s Day cheer, one Redditor finds themselves at the heart of a family showdown. Their two older sisters, each with two kids, propose splitting the lunch bill three ways, but the OP, young and childless, bristles at the idea. Past outings where they paid for their sisters’ kids—some nearly adults—have left them feeling like the family ATM, sparking a bold stand for fairness.

The tension rises as the OP calls out the unequal split, only to face pushback from their sisters and even their mom, who sides with keeping the peace. With a mix of humor and frustration, this tale of a Mother’s Day meal gone awry reveals the sticky dynamics of family finances. The Reddit community jumps in with spicy opinions, turning a simple lunch into a feast of debate.

‘AITA for telling my siblings I don’t want to split the bill equally since they have kids and I don’t?’

I have two older sisters (both over 30 years old), while I’m still in my 20s. The thing is, they suggested to invite my mom to lunch for Mother’s Day and they were talking about splitting the expenses in 3 parts. Both of them have 2 kids each while I don’t

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Given past (bad) experiences where the kids were not contemplated in the bill but still would eat I told them I did not like the idea of splitting in 3 since their kids should be taken into account, mind you, the kids are not babies, one of them will soon turn 18.

At the mention of that they did not like it and called me confrontational and my mom even found out and took their side, as per usual. To give you some more context as to why it bothers me: A similar experience happened before during a trip where I had to pay a third out of all the expenses, my mom another and my sister anothe

(husband and kids included). She thought my mom and I were oblivious about the whole thing but my mom begged me to not say anything to not start a fight but nowI think I’ve held my silence for long. So, the question is, AITA for wanting the bill to be split differently considering I don’t have kids and I’m only paying for my share and my mom’s?

This family clash over a restaurant bill underscores a common tension: ensuring fairness in shared expenses. The OP’s refusal to split the bill equally, given their sisters’ kids consume meals without contributing, is a stand for equity. Their sisters’ defensive reaction and their mom’s siding with them suggest a pattern of avoiding conflict, often at the OP’s expense.

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The issue reflects broader family dynamics, where unspoken expectations can breed resentment. Relationship expert Dr. Susan Heitler emphasizes, “Clear boundaries in financial dealings prevent resentment and foster respect.” The OP’s frustration stems from repeatedly subsidizing their sisters’ kids, which feels exploitative, especially when the children are old enough to be counted.

This situation highlights the importance of transparent communication in families. The OP’s push for a fair split challenges a status quo that unfairly burdens them. Proposing to split only their mom’s portion or requesting separate checks could have clarified expectations from the start.

To resolve this, the OP could set firm boundaries, like paying only for themselves and a share of their mom’s meal. Openly discussing financial roles with family, perhaps before the next outing, could prevent future disputes. This approach respects everyone’s contributions while maintaining family harmony.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit community strongly supported the OP, viewing their sisters as taking advantage by expecting a childless sibling to cover their kids’ meals. They criticized the family’s pressure to maintain peace as enabling unfairness, arguing that the OP’s demand for an equitable split was reasonable and justified.

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Redditors suggested practical solutions, like requesting separate checks or treating their mom to solo outings to avoid unequal splits. They saw the sisters’ resistance as entitled and the mom’s stance as prioritizing harmony over fairness, reinforcing the OP’s need to set boundaries to avoid being exploited in future family gatherings.

EmceeSuzy - You are NTA but you need to stop dining and traveling with them. Take your mother to a special brunch or painting class or some other nice treat for mother's day. If she will not agree to go with you for a solo outing, that is her choice. It does not obligate you to join a group outing that doesn't work for you.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Hell no! They want you to subsidize their grown ass childrens' meals? S**ew that, you pay for what you eat. You ask for a separate check and pay your bill (and split the cost of your mom's meal.)

I am sick of parents always taking the side of the cheap ass, parasite sibling to 'keep the peace'! And please, stop dining with your sisters (if you are forced to, again, ask for a separate check and don't let them guilt you into anything.) The only assholes here are your family.

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OkeyDokey654 - NTA. In the future, if you do go, ask for a separate check and then contribute some cash toward your mom’s meal. When they complain, laugh and say “I do understand why you want me to pay for your kids’ meals, but I’m sure you understand why I’m not going to do that.”

omeomi24 - NTA - no reason you should be obligated to pay for THEIR children....ask for a separate check and pay for your own food and give them enough for 1/3 of your mother's meal.

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Remote-Passenger7880 - My friend went thru this same thing years back. She started asking for a separate check with just her meal and the celebratory person's meal and the tip. If someone tried to complain that she wasn't paying for their kids, she would say something like 'is it your birthday? Im already covering for mom, im not covering for you too.'

A few years after she started doing this, her mom started whining about how her other kids never got her anything. They tried to say the dinner was their gift but *she* would remind them that they didn't pay for her dinner. Demand a compromise.

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Yall can split the bill by the number of attendees or yall can do seperate checks because you're not supplementing them anymore. You're not their backup ATM. If they can't afford to eat out, then they can choose to not eat out.. Next time mom begs you to keep the peace, remind her that you're not the one disrupting it. NTA

Live-Ad4493 - Fair would be everybody paying for themselves and then splitting your moms bill. Or heck, be generous and pay for your own and ALL of your mom’s portion. But paying for everybody else who wants to take their large family out at a discount is NOT how to do this. They’re taking advantage of you.

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StAlvis - NTA. Mom's share gets split three ways. Everyone else pays for themselves.

popcornstuffedbra - NTA - in the future, order last, and before you do, request a separate check for yourself. If that's too confrontational or worried it'll ruin the meal, order, then excuse yourself the bathroom and find your waiter to ask for a separate check.

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MerelyWhelmed1 - You are NTA. I get so tired of these posts wherein the single or childless person is expected to foot the bill for someone else's kids.

fiestafan73 - NTA. Your siblings are freeloaders. Take your mom out for a special lunch just the two of you.

This Mother’s Day bill dispute serves up a hearty reminder that fairness in family gatherings hinges on clear boundaries. The OP’s stand against subsidizing their sisters’ kids sparked tension but exposed the need for honest financial discussions. Have you ever navigated a tricky family expense split? Share your stories and strategies below—how do you keep family outings fair and fun?

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