AITA for refusing to help my coworker pay for his grandma’s hospital stay unless he shows some documents or let’s me speak to the hospital?

In a bustling office, a coworker’s desperate plea for help with his grandmother’s hospital bills in India turned tense when his colleague demanded proof. Suspicious of a scam and wary of handing over thousands without documents or hospital contact, the colleague stood firm, only to be branded heartless and blamed for potential tragedy. The coworker’s outrage deepened the divide, casting shadows of doubt over trust and kindness.

This Reddit saga dives into a tangle of compassion and caution, where a call for help meets skepticism in the workplace. The colleague’s insistence on verification, meant to protect his wallet, stirred accusations of cruelty, raising questions about boundaries and belief. With stakes high and trust on the line, this story pulls readers into a drama of doubt and workplace dynamics.

‘AITA for refusing to help my coworker pay for his grandma’s hospital stay unless he shows some documents or let’s me speak to the hospital?’

My coworker turned to me asking me for help. He told me his grandma who is in India was hospitalized for covid and that he needs me to help him pay the bill because she is in very bad condition. I initially agreed to do so but informed him that I need to see some documents or to provide me with contact info of the hospital so that I know for sure where the money is going.

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He told me that I'm a distrustful a**hole and said I'm being a D**k who can't trust people and said it will be my fault if his grandma doesn't receive proper care. I am conflicted because I'm worried I'm being petty but I'm scared he's taking advantage of me and I don't understand why there is no documentation of her stay.

AITA or is it reasonable that I want proof? By the way he is asking for several thousand dollars and if I knew for sure his grandma was in the hospital, I'd help out even if he couldn't pay me back, but I feel worried that he's taking advantage and lying. Am I being as selfish as he says?

Navigating a coworker’s plea for financial help is a minefield of trust and boundaries. The colleague’s refusal to fund his coworker’s grandmother’s hospital bills without documentation or hospital contact reflects a prudent instinct to avoid scams, especially with a large sum at stake. The coworker’s hostile reaction—calling him distrustful and blaming him for potential harm—raises red flags, suggesting manipulation rather than genuine need.

Workplace requests for personal financial aid, particularly from non-close colleagues, are uncommon and often suspect. The coworker’s refusal to provide verifiable proof, like medical bills or hospital contacts, undermines his credibility, especially given the prevalence of scams involving overseas medical emergencies. The colleague’s insistence on transparency isn’t petty; it’s a safeguard against fraud, balancing empathy with self-protection.

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Dr. Janja Lalich, an expert on social influence, notes, “Emotional manipulation often accompanies financial scams, using guilt to bypass rational scrutiny.” The coworker’s aggressive deflection, rather than providing simple proof, mirrors this tactic, exploiting the colleague’s fear of seeming unkind. Your past frustration with others taking advantage, like strangers eating your snacks on a train, echoes this wariness of being exploited.

To resolve this, the colleague should maintain his boundary, politely declining unless verifiable proof is provided, and consider reporting the incident to HR to protect others. This story highlights the importance of vigilance in workplace interactions, ensuring kindness doesn’t blind one to potential deceit.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users overwhelmingly supported the colleague, calling his request for proof reasonable and the coworker’s reaction a telltale sign of a scam. They criticized the coworker for guilt-tripping instead of providing documents, noting that genuine need would come with transparency. Some urged reporting to HR to prevent others from being targeted.

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The community’s consensus was clear: the colleague’s skepticism is justified, and the coworker’s hostility only fuels suspicion. They emphasized that no one is obligated to fund a coworker’s family crisis, especially without evidence, highlighting the broader issue of workplace boundaries and scam awareness.

t27lyne − NTA his response told you all you needed to know. Kindness is one thing, but you are in no way obligated to your coworker or his grandmother.

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majesticjewnicorn − NTA. This sounds like a definite scam. If I were you I would report them to HR because other colleagues might take the bait and end up giving money without questioning it. If he had nothing to hide and was truly in need, he would comply with your request.

[Reddit User] − NTA If he really needed help, and the condition was serious, he would not have been disrespectful towards you and would have showed the proof.. Don\`t bother.

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Comprehensive-Path81 − NTA I'm assuming he is asking for a large sum of money (more than 100 bucks) and that's why you asked proof . Always trust your gut feeling and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.

There's a reason why you think he is taking advantage of you. Your coworker is AH for saying it will be your fault if his gradma die. If it's true then yeah he has a reason to be annoyed, but if he really cares he will show you the proof that you want

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[Reddit User] − how would it be your fault? if she was really sick, he would be able to prove it no problem. NTA

[Reddit User] − He is just a coworker? That is bizarre and inappropriate on so many levels I do not know where to go with it. My concern is why he chose you what is going on here that he zoned on you to ask for the money.

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I mean no insult, however, the fact he zoned on you and that you are actually considering this if you see 'documentation' or 'speak with the hospital' makes me question your judgement and clues in why he chose you.. A) He can provide false documents

B) He can put anyone on a phone to pretend it is a hospital and pretend to be a physican. C) You are not responsible for h9s grandmother hospital bills or I feel I have to also say this: If your chatting with prince or princess charming online and sending them money please stop..

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D) STOP FALLING FOR SCAMMERS STOP BEING GUILLABLE. Send him to your human resources department most have some sort of employee assistant programs or may start a collection after THEY confirm the validity of the claim.

uhhhhwhat22 − NTA, he’s lying - 100%

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Deceptikhan42 − This is a scam for sure.

ITouchMyself2Much − NTA. His grandmother is not your responsibility. Also, you called him your coworker, not your friend. You don't even have a passing responsibility here, even to him. If you are skeptical, there's likely a reason. Even if he could provide proof, I wouldn't trust it, and there's no guarantee he'd pay you back anyway.

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If you are worried about saying no, make up an unexpected large item purchase or repair, like your refrigerator went out or the transmission needs to be replaced on your car or something equally as costly (or make up a story for a parent or sibling's repair job). If he's trying to scam you, he'll probably ask for proof..Wouldn't that be funny?

dumbcrumbs1 − Very reasonable request. Sounds like a scam, it's not your responsibility to help at all monetarily. If anything happens to her it's on him and her family, not a coworker.

This workplace clash shows how a plea for help can unravel into a web of doubt and blame. The colleague’s stand for proof, rooted in caution, protects him from potential scams but draws accusations of heartlessness. Trust requires evidence, not just emotion. How would you handle a coworker’s unverified financial plea? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this debate alive!

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